Family Matter - Mistreated By FIL

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Mistreated By FIL

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Religion - Islam
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Questions realted to familly matter.
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39355
Printed Date: 26 April 2024 at 11:52pm
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Topic: Mistreated By FIL

Posted By: Shabaana01
Subject: Mistreated By FIL
Date Posted: 17 May 2017 at 4:22pm

Salaams...

I am a young sister 23 years of age who just got married recently.. it has been a month alhamdulillah. Allah has blessed me with a lovely and hard working husband who supports me 100% . I am a Gujarati girl who was taught only English so i know very little Gujarati.. i can understand but don't speak much. Unfortunately my inlaws only speak Gujarati. My mother in law is very loving and kind to me. At the moment i am staying with my parents because my inlaws have no room and my husband approved as our house will be ready soon. I go to my inlaws almost everyday and when i do i help my mother inlaws as much as i can. I am a quiet girl so I don't talk much especially because I don't know how to communicate with them.. i feel like my father inlaw hates me because every time i sit to eat or i am sitting with my husband he tuts at me or he says in Gujarati "she's come to eat again" i feel very unwelcome and unwanted in their home.. I don't know what to do and the thing is he is very stubborn aa he is set in his cultural ways. When I don't go then he fights with my husband saying why didn't she come and then when i do go that's the treatment i get.. im very upset by it and I don't know what to do.. he treats my husband badly as well compared to his other siblings even tho he's the only hard working one out of the siblings. Anyone have any advice?

Jazakallah

Replies:

Posted By: Dr. Aslam
Date Posted: 09 March 2018 at 7:57am

Salam Alaikum,
I am sure your husband must be aware of this situation. I am also sure that your mother in law is also an observant of this situation. I am also sure that you are respectful to him. the next you go, take some gift for him. I know it hurts to see all this, but its better not to directly interfere between the family affairs of your father in law.
Keep us informed of any development.

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Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah

Posted By: Tim the plumber
Date Posted: 09 March 2018 at 10:02am

I recomend;
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Reclaiming-Paperback/dp/B00M0DB3ZG/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1520618327&sr=1-3&keywords=toxic+parents" rel="nofollow - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Reclaiming-Paperback/dp/B00M0DB3ZG/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1520618327&sr=1-3&keywords=toxic+parents

Your husband has had this disfunctional treatment throughout his life. He is conditioned to accept it.

It is extremely hard for him to escape the situation. You can be the best thing that has ever happened to him. If you read the book above you will get the idea of where his head is and how strong he has been even to be able to make his life with you especially the moving out to a new house where his farther will be unable to dominate him.