Parents don't approve my love for a Shia
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Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=30591
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Topic: Parents don't approve my love for a Shia
Posted By: Favors21
Subject: Parents don't approve my love for a Shia
Date Posted: 05 August 2014 at 8:12am
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Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wabarakatuh.
I am a 19-year-old Pakistani Sunni medical student in a very desperate situation. I fell in love with my Iraqi classmate about 10 months ago, who also loves me, before I found out that he is Shia. When my mother found out, she didn't even hesitate and told me to stay away from him. I don't know if it's a family thing or not, because my mom's side is mostly Shia and my dad's side is strictly Sunni (both my parents are Sunni). The problem is that it's too late to avoid him, because I love him so much and became very close to him, but my parents don't know that. I really feel like we are meant to be. He has told me that he respects all the khalifahs, though he does believe that Ali (AS) should have been the leader after the Prophet (S)'s death. On the month of Muharram, he listens to some poems and cries a bit, nothing more than that (he finds the self-beating haraam).� Everything else is practically the same as Sunnis. Most�importantly, he does not commit shirk, and believes in the oneness of Allah (SWT) and follows the sayings of the Prophet (S) and the Holy Quran. I just don't understand why my parents are so strict about this. I don't know if it's because I'm still young. But he and I want what's best for our children, to just be good Muslims. I watched a Zaker Naik video and he said the Quran mentions that there will be 73 sects in Islam but only one is correct, which is Muslim. So why do we show hatred towards one another? I showed my father the video but he didn't get the message, instead he got worried thinking his daughter is trying to defend Shias. I've prayed salat istikhara about 5 times, but I'm still unsure. I feel so happy and positive when I'm with him, and I even learned a lot about Islam from him. I've made him a better person too. I also strongly believe that he would be a great person to help my elder brother who has Down Syndrome, and he is even willing to. I've been in trouble for getting caught hanging out with him, and it's just made me so depressed. If he was Sunni my parents wouldn't have minded. I don't want to go against my parents' word, but I also don't want to leave this guy. It breaks my heart and makes me feel guilty. Sometimes I think I'm paying the concequence for falling in love with someone before asking what his belief is, but sometimes I find that ridiculous. I'm so desperate I don't know what to do. We've even tried to separate ourselves from each other, but it won't work and it's too difficult. I know this is a common problem for people, so advice is much appreciated. Jazakullah and take care (so sorry about the long post) |
Replies:
Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 06 August 2014 at 4:29am
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This is what happens when you are so far away from Islam and it's teachings. For one thing 'falling in love' is haraam and what hanging out with the opposite sex is also haraam.
The Shi'a sect are not true Muslims because they do not follow the true teachings of the Prophet (SalAllahu Alayhi Wa SAllam) and they elevate Ali (RA)above the Prophet (SalAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam). By the way, it's Ali (RA) and not (AS). I know that many if not the majority of Pakistani Muslims do not practice their faith properly. For example, many women do not wear the hijab and they prefer Western dress than Islamic dress code. With regard to your situation I can see a lot of problems in your life if you do not listen to your parents. You are at an age where the hormones are playing havoc with your body and you are not able to think straight. With regard to praying Istikhara I don't think Allah Sbuahana Wa Ta'ala will answer somebody who has committed a sin and not repented. ------------- La Ilaha IllAllah |
Posted By: NABA
Date Posted: 07 August 2014 at 3:18am
| Assalamalecum,repent it and leave him because this strong step of yours will avoid several difficulties it will be good for u and everybody involved in this.u r just 19 and whole life is in front of u, may be Allah may have better option for you in halal way.Allah in ch 2 v 216 of Quran say-you may love s thing which is bad for you, you may hate a thing which is good for you but Allah only knows what is good for you.remember Allah is the best planner(ch 3 v 54, ch 27 v 50). |
Posted By: lady
Date Posted: 13 August 2014 at 8:29pm
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It is your right to marry whom you wish. I have no problem with marrying a shia even though I am not one. Anytime you want to marry someone who your family does not approve of usually will cause problems within the family. I think that your parents opinion is important and you should think about it. I personally think that it is dangerous to chose your future spouse by yourself. You need other people who love you to help guide you on chosing a partner who is religious and right for you. Keep praying to Allah to guide you, and keep the communication open with your parents about this guy. Take your time with this guy in the halaal way and make istekara etc |
Posted By: ezrak
Date Posted: 27 November 2014 at 4:58am
Shia are indeed true muslims. What an ugly thing to say. |
Abu Loren wrote:Posted By: NABA
Date Posted: 01 December 2014 at 12:48am
| Ezrak, Allah in Quran in ch 3 v 103 says Allah had sent a rope (Quran) on us and asked us to hold it together and be not divided.there are no sects in islam. |
Posted By: Tim the plumber
Date Posted: 01 December 2014 at 3:25am
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Explain to your family that it could be lot worse; You could have fallen madly in love with an atheist who had convinced you that all this God stuff was drivel. If it would help, and I think it would, get them to talk to some such on the internet and suddenly your heart's choice will be fine! |
Posted By: iec786
Date Posted: 22 June 2015 at 2:45pm
| 90% of the Shias are out of the fold of Islam,and not Muslims please be careful. |
Posted By: Favors21
Date Posted: 20 July 2015 at 5:11am
| Im sorry, but I disagree. For one thing I am religious. I've grown up in Islamic schools and have been a hijabi since 8th grade. You have no right to generalize Pakistani Muslims. And it's not haraam to fall in love, since it's an emotion you can't control, what's haraam is if you commit inappropriate actions with that person. I have repented so many times, especially this past Ramadan. I understand you think shias are not true Muslims, but then again you cannot generalize. Like I said this guy I like is more or less the same as Sunnis, just very minute differences, like praying with his arms down and what not. You need to change your mentality about sects in Islam, because there shouldn't be any in the first place. You need to see yourself as Muslim, not even Sunni. This is why there's so much hate going on in Muslim countries. But thank you for giving me your opinion. |
Posted By: Favors21
Date Posted: 20 July 2015 at 5:15am
| Jazakallah everyone for your advice, I'm still waiting at the moment as to what to do... Being put in this kind of situation is so difficult, because I don't want to disobey my parents, but I know this guy will strengthen my iman.. |
Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 21 July 2015 at 3:48am
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The shi'as curse the Sahabi who fought with their lives to give us what we have today of Islam. They revere Ali (RA) more than the Prophet (SalAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) and they have weird practices such as flailing themselves which is no Islamic. ------------- La Ilaha IllAllah |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 27 November 2015 at 3:37pm
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Dear Sister,
Please do not marry A Shia. To be a Muslim please see below points without which you cannot be a muslim. 1) You must believe on Allah, his Rasool, Farishte 2 You should also believe in the four Guided khalifas Abubaker, Umer, Usman, and Ali. Please see this vedio from Dr. Israr Ahmed Shahadat-e-Hussain ka Tareekhi Pas-e-Manzer By Dr. Israr Ahmed [HQ] When you say that he respects all sahabas but dont accept the sequence in which the khalifas were elected then you he means that Abubaker, Umer, Usman RA were Zalim (Nauzubillah) Common Sister dont be so blind in love that you can accept an abuse from a munafik for the Khalifas whome we respect more than our parents. I tell you what. You cannot trust them. listen to the vedio and reply me please. Plz PLz concentrate on your studies and learn Islam from the books and Quran and not by Being in an Illegitimate relation. No matter what agreemnet you have before marraige, a woman has to surrender oneday to her husbands beleif and believe me you will also have to do that one day if you marry him. More over he is an Iraqi. This a war effected Area think about your future. incase if u face issue your family cant even reach to you for help. Dont be mad. Regards Faisal |
Posted By: Tim the plumber
Date Posted: 01 December 2015 at 5:35am
As I have said, get your parents to have a chat with the likes of me. Do it here on this forum if you like. Then they will be very happy that you have found a nice muslim man. Trust me on this one. I'll manage to offend them whilst doing my very best to be nice. |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 11 December 2015 at 7:27pm
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Starnge,
You will get biased opinions, I think you have involved the Shia Boy in this Forum. that really starnge. |
Posted By: yasemin u�an
Date Posted: 13 December 2015 at 12:13am
I agree 100 percent. |