Groups : New Muslims - looking for my place in the sun

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looking for my place in the sun

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Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups : New Muslims
Forum Description: Groups : New Muslims
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23368
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Topic: looking for my place in the sun

Posted By: tlh123
Subject: looking for my place in the sun
Date Posted: 22 June 2012 at 1:57am

salaam walaikum.

I signed up for this forum hoping to make some kind of connection. I have tried for many years to connect with humans but it doesn't work. I converted almost ten years ago and it wasn't a good thing for me. Instead of becoming a better person the opposite happened. I had more faith before becoming muslim than now. I do not understand and I have too much anger, fury and rage for most people to handle. I don't know if this will work, but I don't want to be alone.

Replies:

Posted By: peacemaker
Date Posted: 28 June 2012 at 10:22am

Walaikum Salam,

Welcome to the forum! May you find this place beneficial. May Allah (Exalted is He) guide us all.

Peace

-------------
Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
Qur'an 55:13

Posted By: nothing
Date Posted: 10 July 2012 at 11:22am

tlh123 wrote:

salaam walaikum.

I converted almost ten years ago and it wasn't a good thing for me. Instead of becoming a better person the opposite happened. I had more faith before becoming muslim than now. I do not understand and I have too much anger, fury and rage for most people to handle. I don't know if this will work, but I don't want to be alone.

I used to have that but because other people made me that way. I live alone now and I live in the smiling world. A bit lonely though but I weigh the pros and the cons of living with somebody who is not getting along, I decided living alone is a good bargain. LOL

Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 11 July 2012 at 5:58am

Walaikkum As'alaam

Many reverts have this problem unfortunately. There are varied and weird reasons why this happens. Most of the time, it is that the new reverts do not receive any kind of help when they convert. Many born Muslims are susupicious of reverts and tend to be aloof and unwelcoming, especially for women.

What you must do is to find comfort in the words of Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala and read the Holy Qur'an daily. The internet is the best place for translated Qur'an and there are also many other resources, try also to read the Hadiths of the Prophet as there are goldmines of information in how they lived and the revelations that he received.

I am very lucky as I live in an Islamic country and there are many Islamic centres that help new converts. The people, especially the imam, at tmy local masjid are also a great help.

If you can try to connect with sisters from your local masjid, and bear in mind that they may not be very welcoming at first. Asian women especially tend to stick to their own race and do not really mingle with other races. So my advise is to persevere until you find a friend who can guide and help you. If there is a masjid nearby try to attend it as often as possible, you never know you might see a regular and you might get to talking and a frienship may develop.

Don't give up on God. Remember also that shaytan is after new converts, he will try to make you deviate from the Stright Path so do not give in to him.

May Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala guide you and make it easy for you to stay on the Striaght Path. Ameen.

Posted By: tlh123
Date Posted: 12 July 2012 at 12:05pm

Well from what I understand all of the Prophets companions were reverts, so all born muslims who are judgemental when the Qu'ran says not to judge are hypocrites.

Posted By: tlh123
Date Posted: 12 July 2012 at 1:34pm

To me muslims that I have met are highly judgemental and self righteous people who have no idea what the difference between culture and religion is. I am not arab or african or tunisian or anything else. I'm sick of being told in one form or another that I'm going to hell because I don't act like a Nigerian, but when I do what the nigerains do then the Pakis think I'm horrible. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!!!!??????

WHAT A MISTAKE!!!! I became a muslim because I wanted to worship GOD. It was my understanding from reading the qu'ran OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN that ALLAH is the one who judges ALL OF US!!!! Not you sunni and shia bickering in the mosques and all the backbiting women who gossip about everyone like they have any clue about the contents of anyone's heart or soul.

This looks to me to be just as ugly and disgusting and repulsive and revolting as anything. YOU MIGHT AS WELL ALL GO GET DRUNK AND FORNICATE!!!!!

Posted By: tlh123
Date Posted: 12 July 2012 at 1:44pm

The last thing I'm going to say before I log off is this: Who among you on the day of Judgment will have any excuse?

How can a people who claim to be so much better than Christians and Jews make themselves like Christians and Jews and remain arrogant about how much better they are than others?

How horrible and disgusting is it that the same da'wa freaks out there urging everyone to become muslim then turn right around and dog out new muslims? That is despicable! SHAME ON YOU!!!!!

Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 13 July 2012 at 3:15am

You have to remember that Muslims are human beings too with all the faults that go with it. Most are also what you say they are. They think that they are automatically going to heaven without making any effort and because they were born into a Muslim family.

Posted By: tlh123
Date Posted: 13 July 2012 at 7:50am

Yes, this is so.

Unfortuantely this issue irritates my temper. I can't stand peer pressure.

I used to hang out with party animals. I never drank, but guranteed every time I went to a party there would always be tons of people urging me to drink!

The muslim community should not make people feel pressured to be anything. This is very bad. The Prophet (pbh) was not the kind of person who pressued others. And yet these same muslims claim to emulate him.

I feel that many people have confused fear of Allah with fear of the world.

They feel that it is thier responsiblity to instill the fear of Allah into others by threatening them with hellfire. This is not thier obligation and they disobey Allah blatantly by doing this. If a man sees hellfire in a dream then it was a vision sent by Allah as guidance. All these muslims are accomplishing is creating fear of muslims and driving people away from the mosques.

The Qu'ran clearly states that fear of Allah comes from Allah. Love of Allah comes from Allah.

Posted By: nothing
Date Posted: 13 July 2012 at 3:04pm

tlh123 wrote:

How horrible and disgusting is it that the same da'wa freaks out there urging everyone to become muslim then turn right around and dog out new muslims? That is despicable! SHAME ON YOU!!!!!

Would not it be better if you advancing it yourself? Hey I learned Islam pretty much from nobody, books and videos are available out there. You will well satisfied gaining something with your own sweat, make sense?

Posted By: abjad
Date Posted: 14 July 2012 at 12:35pm

tlh123 wrote:

The last thing I'm going to say before I log off is this: Who among you on the day of Judgment will have any excuse?

how are you!
i hear a sect claiming that their Prophet died for there sins'

How can a people who claim to be so much better than Christians and Jews make themselves like Christians and Jews and remain arrogant about how much better they are than others?

'as far as Human, none can be better hen the other in the eyes of Allah.

How horrible and disgusting is it that the same da'wa freaks out there urging everyone to become muslim then turn right around and dog out new muslims? That is despicable! SHAME ON YOU!!!!!

"and what about you now are doing about, Ya! a baboon laughs at it mates yet has forgotten how bumpy buttocks they have.

Please:
talk something iam prepared to listen and exchange ideas as far as we are alive.
I pm you . try to answer and get to know each other.

Posted By: tlh123
Date Posted: 15 July 2012 at 8:13am

Honestly who is listening? No one. If it doesn't fit in with the approved script then it isn't heard or taken into consideration.

It seems like the best I can do is carry on alone. No problem. Been at that for quite some time now.

There is no help for anyone except from Allah.

Posted By: lady
Date Posted: 18 July 2012 at 2:02am

Abu Loren wrote:

Walaikkum As'alaam

Many born Muslims are susupicious of reverts and tend to be aloof and unwelcoming, especially for women.

Some not most.

If you can try to connect with sisters from your local masjid, and bear in mind that they may not be very welcoming at first.

Dont scare her.

Just give them the salaams, and introduce yourself, and have a normal conversation with them. I am sure that they will be welcoming to you. If you find a group that is not then find another one.

Asian women especially tend to stick to their own race and do not really mingle with other races.

Alot of races do this but you must not wait for someone to welcome you.

I met someone from UAE for the first time, five months ago, and she and her family were telling me that alot of people there do not like pakistanis. So isolation of other people happens everywhere. But with the asians, alot of times they do not get outside much. So therefore, when they see other muslims who speak their language, they become really excited. So they tend to seperate themselves for that reason. And some do not think that they speak english well, so therefore they may be shy to speak it with others. And then you have some or few who like to be around their own kind more, etc.

Don't give up on God. Remember also that shaytan is after new converts, he will try to make you deviate from the Stright Path so do not give in to him.

May Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala guide you and make it easy for you to stay on the Striaght Path. Ameen.

Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 18 July 2012 at 8:32am

lady wrote:

Abu Loren wrote:

I met someone from UAE for the first time, five months ago, and she and her family were telling me that alot of people there do not like pakistanis. So isolation of other people happens everywhere.

Emiratis are by no means isolated from Pakistanis.

Posted By: shaheed
Date Posted: 12 August 2012 at 2:16am

Sis,

I feel what you are going through, but like what Abu Laren said people who you are talking about and us too, all are human beings who makes mistakes .

what I suggest is don't be like Nigerian nor Pakistanis...etc but do what Islamic teachings say stick to God be with Him (more regular in prayers, more reciting of Quran, be nice to all, ask for His help) all that will make you feel better.. but in this regard what will certainly make you better is night prayer (other that Isha prayer) and keep fasting on Mondays, Thursdays, 14, 15, and 16 of Hijri months (i.e when the moon is complete " that is 14" and the next two days: 15&16, but dont rely on Muslim to be as good as you want them to be....that is impossible...cause Eeman increase and decrease: there is a direct relation between one's good deeds and sincerity to Allah and Eeman.

God Bless you and dont give up

Posted By: shaheed
Date Posted: 13 August 2012 at 5:49am

Sis,

I'm back again to the forum and you are still in a grouchy and grumbly mood.
You must know that being good Muslim who seeks Allah's acceptance and consent is not a joke, it's a ling path. our prophet (P.B.U.H)says that Heaven is surrounded with extreme difficulties and hardships and Hellfire is full with desires( what Man likes: sex, drinking, ...etc).So we have to fight Devil as well as Our own selves, bear and stand others' wickedness and insults towards you+ keeping a sound relation with The All Mighty Allah...that is what life is all about....
My advice is DO THAT and stop complaints.