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Having trouble need advice

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups : Women (Sisters)
Forum Description: Groups : Women (Sisters)
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1970
Printed Date: 07 June 2024 at 3:30am
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Topic: Having trouble need advice
Posted By: spanishsister
Subject: Having trouble need advice
Date Posted: 18 August 2005 at 11:36pm

As salaamu alaikum,

IM a new Muslim I converted about 3 months ago. I was just recently married 2 weeks ago and my husband has been Muslim for 11 years now. He married me knowing that i had never covered and i was going need to get use to this all and i agreed that once we got married I would start to cover. problem is my husband doesn't live in the same state as he and he does a lot of traveling because of his job. any ways my husband came to see me for a weeks and i was covered about 3 days out of the 7 he was here visiting. he wasn't to trilled but he delt with it since he knows i do work and that i have not informed my job that i need to cover. long story short he took me shopping for clothing so i would have stuff to cover with. be for he left he  wrote a letter for me to bring to my job explaining to them about me having to cover. so i would not have any excuses not to cover after that. since he as left I haven't really covered and I never brought the letter to my job. And he's starting to get irritated with me now. I tried explaining to him that in not comfortable covering yet and IM worried what people are going to say and think since where I live there not many Muslims pretty much one and if there are there hiding. I don't know any sisters so it makes it harder for me. I just need so advice  on what should I do before my marriage is ruined.



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FRANCHESKA


Replies:
Posted By: Serinidad
Date Posted: 19 August 2005 at 12:30am

Why dosen't your husband live in the same state with you?

Also, you have to cover because you want to do this for Allah. Not just for your husband. Try to explain to him that you are trying and wear the hijab to work one day and see what is said. Just try it.

 

 

Posted By: queenie
Date Posted: 19 August 2005 at 2:24am
i would also like to know why he does not live in the same state as you. I think if he was with you, he could be some form of support and encouragement for you. At the end of the day. You covering should be for the sake of allah and allah alone. To tell the truth from my experience it does sometimes help when someone keeps reminding you of your duty. But there is a limit and too much pressure isn't good for anyone. You need to pull your socks up and decide what ypu want to do and your husband needs to learn to be patient.

Posted By: spanishsister
Date Posted: 19 August 2005 at 5:23pm

As salaamu alaikum

Well my husband is not from my state and he works alot out of state so he not around much he comes to see me when hes off which is like one a month for a week or so.



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FRANCHESKA

Posted By: Henna
Date Posted: 19 August 2005 at 5:36pm
Dear sister,
i hope you will find the courage for wearing hijab inshallah...

if you can leave your state, leave your state, start to wear hijaab and start to live with your husband. So you can start to live your new life in a new state with your husband. So you don't have to explain anything to anybody...

I pray for you.. Let us know please when you decide...

Posted By: Lehua
Date Posted: 20 August 2005 at 9:41am

Assalamu Aliakum,

Spanish Sister I understand you hesitation and apprehension in wearing the hijab.  It should be something you do for Allah(swt) alone and NO ONE else.  I believe it is a slow process (as we gradually learn about Islam), beause ther is no compulsion in religion.  Wear it where you feel comfortable and secure, even if it is a few days a week. 

I read an article about a sister's transformation to wearing hijab and her suggestions in the process.  What really caught my attention is that she said (and I summarize) "That you will know when you are ready to wear hijab, it will be a burning desire in your heart and that you can't stand to go outside without it." 

Insallah you will find the peace of mind and strength to wear the hijab , Allah(swt) knows so am I.

Lehua

Posted By: Meedo
Date Posted: 22 August 2005 at 3:40pm
I think yr husband should stop pressuring you and treat you bettert and udnerstand that you are still new to islam . Inshallah things come slowly but surely . He should understand and be kind to you . That is hwo the prophet was pBUH

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Meedo

Posted By: herjihad
Date Posted: 24 August 2005 at 11:48pm

Bismillah,

If you wear hijab to please your husband, and you become comfortable with it as time goes by, and maybe you will feel the inspiring feeling of needing to wear it also, that's great. 

 What is wrong with doing something to please your husband if it is a halal thing?  If you can, do whatever you can to please him that isn't harmful for you.

May Allah, SWT, give you strength, courage and insight.  Visit us muslim sisters here for anything at anytime!



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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.


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