Bismillahi Ar Rahmani Ar Rahim - In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful
As Salamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu!
I hope you all are doing great! May Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'alaa) grant you all with the best of health and strengthen your emaan, Ameen!
I would like to first of all thank the member 'Full of Hopes' for posting this very important topic. As everyone knows and as the article brings up, today's problem is that many young ones are becoming westernized and leave their religion and culture behind.
This is something I am daily facing here in Europe, both girls and boys are living and doing what western teenagers are doing.
Something very important when rising up a child is to teach it how to be brave, to have courage. That is very important. A few days ago, I had a discussion with my father about raising children in an Islamic way, and both he and I stated that courage and braveness is something very important to the child to have as a personality. When you are brave and have the courage, you don�t let others to affect you, but it is You who are the one who should affect them.
Full of Hopes wrote:
To be a strong Muslim, one must be a strong person; the key to being a strong person is knowing who you are at your very core, being able to identify your own characteristics and values which will remain unchanged no matter what situation you're put in.
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As also the author stated, one must be a strong person in order to be a strong Muslim and to know who you are at your very core and to know your values, which should remain unchanged wherever you are. That�s very important. To build such base in a child then as a parent, you don�t have to be concerned about your child. Then it will be easy to teach your child about Islam.
Full of Hopes wrote:
A solid Islamic upbringing from infanthood goes a long way in building this kind of strong character, and as always is the first thing that parents must be aware of. However, for those who perhaps were not as Islamically practicing during their children�s early childhood, and now wish to change their parenting styles and their children for the better, then there are other ways that they can encourage their children to develop and strengthen their individual characters.
It is now that we combine the teens' desire for attention with the goal of helping them find themselves. Either at home or in a youth group/workshop environment, our youth need to be invited away from all the clamoring, glamorous outside influences and given the space and time to focus on themselves, on who they are.
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One of the most important things is that the child should have a strong base already from its early childhood, because it can be quite a lot difficult later on to change your child when he/she has grown. As the author says, there are other ways, but it is still harder and takes a lot more time.
The author has also given a very good advice, to send your child to a youth group, but my advice to the parents is to send their children to an Islamic youth group, to make them befriended with other young Muslims. There are youth groups at the local Masjid.
It is also important to be with your children at home daily. Talk to them and give them time and attention, that way you get a close relationship with your children.
Full of Hopes wrote:
If you ask a five year old, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" you're likely to get a long list that includes astronaut, cowboy (or cowgirl), firefighter, teacher, or even farmer. Ask the same question to a preteen or young teen, and you're more likely to be answered with a blank expression, a careless shrug, and a muttered, "I dunno".
This particular phenomenon in our youth is a distinct lack of vision. Stemming from the problem of not knowing themselves, our young Muslim teens tend to stumble through school and these important years of their lives in a confused daze. They rarely have a tangible idea of what they want to do with their lives; in this era of technology-centered activities, few of them recognize that they have other talents and skills which can be developed and used for the benefit of mankind.
We have to help our youth know themselves. Once they know themselves, once they're confident in themselves and have an idea of their own potential, of what they want to do with that potential, then they will be more solidly grounded and have a better foundation upon which to build their futures.
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The author has given a very good point here; confidence!
Confidence is also very important for the child to have. Once they have self-confidence that they believe in their selves, they can achieve many points in life and learn to make decisions by their own. When someone lacks in self-confidence they start becoming hesitant and fearful, they feel they can�t achieve things in life.
In my opinion, many parents tend to be very strict to their children by frequently telling them; �do this and don�t do that�. The parents should give their children some free will, but of course before they cross the limit you should tell them make them aware of what they are doing is wrong.
Full of Hopes wrote:
Our youth can be - and will be, insha'Allah - strong and free, secure in their identities as Muslims and their own unique personalities.
...all we have to do is give them the time and attention that they crave, and that they need so that they may become the kind of glorious personalities they have the potential to be.
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Every individual is unique in its own way; to feel secure and be proud of itself that he/she is different from others is just great!
If a person is weak, then you can�t expect him to be courageous and don�t get affected by its surrounding i.e. friends, mass media etc.
What the author also states about giving children time and attention is very true! Because that is what we, as children, need from our parents!
A very good advice I would like to share is to gather the family once in a week to have some kind of �family time�, to talk and discuss about Islam. I think if both parents attend is the best! All will then learn from each other!
A reason of why most teenagers are being westernized is that they feel that they won�t fit in the society if they don�t do as they do. As the author of the article also says, they need to be strong! Its important that they are the ones who affect the surrounding and not vice versa!
I also think that the parents should open their eyes more and be aware of what their children are doing. Make sure they are befriended with good people and not bad people who influence them into a bad manner.
May Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'alaa) guide us all and strengthen our emaan and increase our knowledge of the deen, Ameen!
Take Care and Stay Blessed all!
Wa Alaykumusalam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu
------------- Allah is my Support, the Qur'an and Sunnah is my Guide and the Paradise is my Goal!
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