Marraige proposal for a relegious girl
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Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups : Youth
Forum Description: Groups : Youth
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15624
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Topic: Marraige proposal for a relegious girl
Posted By: fais
Subject: Marraige proposal for a relegious girl
Date Posted: 11 October 2009 at 6:09am
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Replies:
Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 11 October 2009 at 7:29am
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Salaams brother, fais,
So your divorce was very quick? Did you do talaq after all?
I think in regards to today's question...why do you want to hurry this? I think you are still emotional about your previous wife and you need to have some time to get over her.
TO be honest, if you married very quickly I think you will not be very stable right now for a new wife and this would not be fair for her.
Be patient brother please. You are still young and my advice is take a break from this situation. ------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 11 October 2009 at 8:01am
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message removed |
Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 11 October 2009 at 8:23am
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Living alone is like Hell? Brother what are you saying. You should be ashamed of your self. What you really mean to say is that you want to work hard, have a woman to look after you and for her to give you sex.
Think about and say a prayer for ALL those poor women who are bereaved and have no hope in this life to have another husband. There are probably millions! Do not include me in this. I amvery happy by myself.
Happiness brother is a state of the mind...nothing else. Of course you must move on...that is normal for a human being..but I think it is too soon.
You sound so much like most of the muslim men I have met in this past 6 years. Yuck...sorry. Do not think me unfeeling, but I am sure I am not alone with saying this. Less than a month ago you were dying because a women was rejecting you. Amazing how quick you forget. I am disappointed brother. ------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 11 October 2009 at 8:41am
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message removed |
Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 11 October 2009 at 8:56am
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Excuse me brother, dont get defensive with me. You asked for a reply to your question and I gave you my answer.
I do not need to talk to anyone about my feelings. I will not go mad. If your relatives and friends have already advised you then why ask here? That is confusing.
I am not mixing western thoughts at all. I do understand deen thank you very much, possibly better than you do. It is sad you do not know me like others do here, then you would not answer me in in this way. YOu sound SO much like my ex husband. You need to understand your deen brother.
ANd don't dare to judge me on your concept of western people. I am a revert, not born muslim like you. I had a choice about my religion, you didnt.
I will try to understand you as one muslim to another and not stereotype you as you have done me. But seems your culture is more important to you above your religion unless youtell me otherwise. ------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 11 October 2009 at 9:01am
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I always think of the Prophet(pbuH). He did not rush into another marriage after the death of Khadijha..he was deeply in mourning. As for myself...I have been through a mourning period and still am in no hurry to re-marry. Does that make me wrong then? Because I do not agree with you or your family? No, of course it doesn't. But it does not mean that I am having a wild life here either. Perhaps that will make it clear for you ------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 11 October 2009 at 10:56am
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-------------  And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 11 October 2009 at 10:22pm
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meaasge removed |
Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 11 October 2009 at 10:56pm
------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
fais wrote:Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 12 October 2009 at 12:22am
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Salam,
Nice to see some urdu from you,you were rude and that has nothing to do with english language,it would be rude if you say that to me in urdu also,comparing with your ex husband and saying i am behaving like most of the muslim men is not good way of explaining.
i dont know how to reply you it will take a lot of time for me to write so just leave it,i never meant to disrespect you even though i am not aware of your age.
insha allah when i get time i will pm you.
so lets not discuss further.
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Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 24 November 2009 at 7:17am
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salam sister
Full of hopes
I want you to remove all your comments from this topic the way i did,there are a lot of personal comments which i dont want any other to see and have bad image of me,and one thing i would like to mention i am seriously looking for a life partner and not just looking for girls to make friends,i really felt offended by your comment.i am not doing timepass sister.only allah know my intentions you no right to judge.
i know we in the third world have a habbit of accepting whatever british or american say so dont just blindly support someone cause of her race or color or image or peoficiency in english.it was a very childish comment when you said to martha that you are with her and she is hundred percent right.
i have seen this in my last company where we had british and americans and how the arab girls use to respect them just beacuse they belong to those nations no matter how flirtatious they talk,and on the contrary we people from subcontinent were not even invited in the iftar party oraganised by the boss but saudi female manager use to give names for only arabi speaking reagrdless of their relegion.so arabi christians were better than indian muslims for a iftaar party organised for speacially muslims who fast.they use to feel so proud if they speak english like americans this is insane,why people put on unnessesary english accent when they are not native english speaker.english is just another language why people feel that they have become stylish or sophisticated if they speak good english.yuuk i have such nerds in my country also
plz grow up f.o.h,and connect deen and talk,dont just believe any one,marta said there should be a 'mourning period' for every realtion,tell me as a born muslim and native arabic speaker did you hear this as a hadith from our profet s.a.w, 'mourning period' is a true christian term not at all islamic,if you want i can give hundreds of example of many sahabas and relegious scholars who married ASAP after their wife died or they took divorce.
mourning is not allowed in islam as far as i know we muslims are suppose to observe on 3 days and after this everything should be normal.
i want a reply on this comment from martha as well as FOH
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Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 24 November 2009 at 11:38am
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Salams fais,
You have asked me to comment.Sigh.. SO I will do this for you. I originally posted :-' I always think of the Prophet(pbuH). He did not rush into another marriage after the death of Khadijha..he was deeply in mourning.' He mourned Khadija deeply. This is not un-Islamic to say, as many muslims say the same. So it is not right to be critical with my comment. I did not say he passed a mourning period,you did in your previous post. This implies a set time. I did not imply a set time at all. So, do you not understand that when she and Abu Bakr died it was called the Year of Sorrows? There are plenty of Islamic references to the word 'mourn' if you look. ANd sources suggest the Prophet(pbuh) did not marry again for another 3 years, though some say it was not that long. Now, I said about myself :- 'As for myself...I have been through a mourning period and still am in no hurry to re-marry.' My period of sorrow(mourning) also did not have a set time and also I was not a widow. So, what I do and how I do it is personal to me. You must also remember that I am a revert of 6 years with no immediate assistance of learning. Unlike you who was taught from birth, but still doesn't know everything about Islam. I am aware that a man should not continue to 'feel sorrow'(or mourn) no longer than a 3 day period after which he CAN marry again. It does not say he HAS to marry so quick. I also know of men that have waited years, like the Prophet(pbuh) before re-marrying. You saying ASAP to re-marry shows you have trouble controlling your urges. A woman can 'feel sorrow' (or mourn) for 4 months and 10days. This is partly to establish whether she is pregnant or not before she re-marries. Why? SO the child knows who his real father is. In fact, for both man and woman they are set periods, so it then becomes a mourning period, or as you say un-Islamic and is instead a Christian term. So do you wish to alter your comments instead of trying to infer I follow Christian traditions? It is misleading. And implies you yourself follow Christians. F.O.H's can defend herself quite capably. However you suggest she agrees with me because I am white and BRitish. That is absurd. If she agrees with me it's because she feels the same. You cannot blame either myself of F.O.H's for bad treatment by others towards you and those of your culture. ANd English is a world wide language. You yourself use it here. If you don't like English because it makes you feel 'different' then don't speak it. You say in this thread there are 'lot of personal comments which i (you) don't want any other to see and have bad image of me (you).' So, you have chosen to remove your comments with the hope that others see me and F'O'H's in a bad light. DOn't you think that is rather childish? DO you think I care what others say/think about me? You have to give a good impression because you want to marry again. I understand your frustrations, but again your problems are not created by myself. SO...in a polite way to you brother, I will not remove my posts and join in this childish game. And BTW...unlike you I am not childish enough to 'want a reply' on my comments. I have better things to do with my life. BUt I am still mature enough to wish you success in finding a wife that deserves you. Peace. ------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 24 November 2009 at 9:56pm
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I am aware that a man should not continue to 'feel sorrow'(or mourn) no longer than a 3 day period after which he CAN marry again. It does not say he HAS to marry so quick. it all depends on person to person,if you feel you wanna do it and you need it you should do it,u said sexual urge ok i would say yes i wanna marry for that is it unislamic?,why you dont want to accept the fact that islam is relegion of fitrat,if a man feel he will go astray so he should marry asap so when i think i dont need your so called mourning period i am confident,mourning is unislamic and i will never accept it,give me an authentic hadith i will accept.you are not an alim to make your own opinion.and let me tell you dear mohammed s.a.w never forgot khadija R.a in his life infact all his other wives were jealous of khadija R.a so that does not mean S.A.W mourned for khadija R.a for the rest of his life. the four months of iddat is for woman to know whose hamal is that cause a woman may put the responsibilty on her second husband to secure her childs future,you cannot by default say this is mourning period.and you wait if you really interested to know when i go to islamic class i will ask this to an alim.
do you know this when sahabas were going for jihad for a long long period they were allowed by our profet s.a.w to do a contract marraige,that means marry the woman in that place where they are on some contract and then when they are going eaither they can keep those wives or give them thier consideration and leave them.(note this was allowed for few years later on this was stopped)now tell me why this order came from allah to marry beacause islam does not ask you to torture your nafs,i am saying it that yes it is for sex beacause that is what you conclude this is a personal comment to remind you, i am fedup of your weared conepts,islam is more practical than you think. beidnillah i will comeback to you one day after my marraige to tell you that my wife is very happy with me.sorry to be personal you too british,its hard for you to digest everything in islam unless you clear your mind from your old relegion.i remeber how you defended the british agression and greed for clonies in the topic sucide bombers.
You saying ASAP to re-marry shows you have trouble controlling your urges.
yes i have trouble, a personal comment again but is it unislamic if not then you have no right to give a fatwa,if something is not said that does not mean you allowed to do whtever you want,and if you bring new things from your side it will be innovations which is called bidaa,now see bidaa comes like this only,you said some thing and there is no islamic sorce for it in hadith or quran and cause you believed something and practised someone else will follow and as man has the ability to ivolve you will see the next generation will believe it so firmly that there will be a period set for men and woman and will be called cumpulsory mouuuuuuuuuuuuuuurning period (Just an example).and just imagine the aftermath,men like me according to you who cant controll their sexual urge will do either zina or other bad thing so now that person who put this innovation in islam will bear the sin of those men woman who went astray.
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Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 24 November 2009 at 10:25pm
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F.O.H's can defend herself quite capably. However you suggest she agrees with me because I am white and BRitish. That is absurd. If she agrees with me it's because she feels the same. by just following someone blindly and than making a bad opinion is not defending.you never feel this but me as an asian i feel this in everyday of life,i am not saying this cause arabs treat us badly (i am least bothered)but i want to highlight how foolish they are to believe that if they speak like americans or british they become stylish,and as usual you misunderstand me,i never said i have a problem with a race or a language,i believe having different race and languages is the plan of allah and we go aginst any language or make fun of any you make fun of allahs plan,no language in this world is bad. it is general psychy of we asians to accept a brits opinion even if you feel you have different opinion.i dint mean FOH is like those arabs she is nice person and i m sure she wont be rude to any just because he or she belongs to the subcontinent.i mean to say we have a habit of accepting the whites as the best and more intelectual.
no offence its just a discussion we are friends and brother sisters again.
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Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 24 November 2009 at 10:43pm
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So, you have chosen to remove your comments with the hope that others see me and F'O'H's in a bad light. DOn't you think that is rather childish? your deen with you.it was just a request,if someone has a bad opinion of someone it is not polite and islamic to make it public.if you really mean to convey the message to me i have recieved it but now you want the whole world to read it is not right.see this is where u lack,you just know black and white in islam that is haram and halal ,you cant understand the deeper meaning of islam,i am not blaming you but think on this it will help you to be a good muslim. example not keeping a beard is not mentioned haram anywhere but it is laso mentioned that it is as good as putting a razor on mohammed s.a.w heart so the alims of all the sects are of one opinion now that it is haram to shave.i pray you get the deeper meaning of what i want to say.
anyways
salam to all
and wish you very happy eid
eid mubaraq
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Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 25 November 2009 at 12:05am
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Salams,
Fais, when anyone makes personal comments I reply as I see fit. I am not a doormat for any. I am obedient to ALlah and follow Islam as I understand it. If I make errors then if I understand where I am wrong then I will change that.As to what you feel in this thread I do not see errors I should change. I will let you know if that changes. So please let it rest now. Brother, I gave you lot of time on and off the forum. I listened to you as I do with all others. I only ever see myself as an auntie to others and that was the friendship we had. Your posts yesterday and removal of some of your comments surprised me. You say I am too British. Wow, you are not too Indian then? I learn a lot about other cultures by living with people not of my own. I do not rely on comments from only those of my culture. I was not too British to marry with an asian man. It does not matter what colour or race people are from. First I don't agree with that way of thinking, but most of all it is un-Islamic. I can tell you I have been really shocked by many asians that will not marry a white woman unless they want a visa/passport. This does not mean there are not nice asians, lol. I know some very nice ones. As regarding the posts..you made your own comments and made them public. Why remove them? If you feel that your words were not right then fine, acknowledge that, not remove them. REally I do not understand this. I have a great deal of patience with people, I think carefully of my words most of the time before I write them. So I do not understand your request that I remove them. Many here are very rude. But I guess what you mean here is that muslim women should not at times do the same. Lol, women can be tough...but maybe because some men are weak and need it! (I am not suggesting you are weak, it is only an example) I have no ill feeling towards you whatsoever. I really hope it goes well for you. I hope you can wish the same for me. Perhaps in the future then we should be careful when we reply here so this situation does not occur again. But might I suggest you don't say again that I am not a good muslim? That is SO haram! It is not good to try to remove the splinter from my eye when you have a plank in your own. All the best. ------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 25 November 2009 at 12:32am
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salam,
i dint say you not a good muslim,but sometimes you when you wanna put your opinion you dont think like the way a muslim should.
i am starter of this topic and the purpose was not to have an argument but to have nice girl for marraige.you had no right to make people have bad opinion,what u did, finally FOH has commented that i am looking for some fun on internet this was really insulting for me.
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Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 25 November 2009 at 12:56am
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Walaikum,
Brother, please stop this now. My aim in life is to be fair and honest with all people. If that means I am not thinking like a muslim then you have your opinion. I cannot comment on what FOH's said. I am not aware of what you say she said. Yes, I know you are a starter of this topic. But this is not the place to find a wife.  ------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 25 November 2009 at 1:53am
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Asslamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatu Allah Ok please calm down brother and sister. I forgot this post until someone told me to come here see that brother fais is upset with me. Wow this post has been so long. Anyway, I deleted my comments in a hurry without reading them because I was busy and I wanted to do the brother what he wants. Just one word, fear Allah and never put the words in my mouth. I never never said to any male member here: " you want to have fun online." This is not my language, nor my letters nor my way of thinking. I might said by the meaning that a girl can not marry someone she knows just for weeks online. It doesn't mean it can not happen. It can happen and be a successful marriage but there is something I wanted to draw your attention to, which is TIME. Not only with you but with any any man. I am sorry if I hurt you without my intention. I just wanted to give you a small advice as I try to do with members here. Ok, I am not adding to this, insha' Allah. I hope it is over bacuse we are all brothers in Islam.  Peace ------------- And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 01 December 2009 at 6:51am
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Salam alaikum sister FOH thnx for the reply, Just one word, fear Allah and never put the words in my mouth. I never never said to any male member here: " you want to have fun online."
I do fear allah,
The meaning of your post understood by anyone was that i should do something else to keep my self busy and not the internet, i wish i clould show you your post,there was no need for this argument,and everyone is capable to answer for themselves nobody needs support here,remember what you wrote for martha,it is always good to express your views and you should not say you support someone or words like we are with you.this is not a healthy discussion.martha got this discussion till this point.
i cannot accept anyone cause she writes good or she is british or her image is good on the forum.
anyways have peace,
eid mubarak to all
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Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 01 December 2009 at 2:45pm
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I said try to be busy because this is the best way to forget about your problems, Cause, I know how it feels when we have troubles, we must do something.. but when we stray free the shytan will remind us of our problems and make us sad. ------------- And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 01 December 2009 at 8:52pm
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salam alaikum,
may be I read 2 sentences together,anyways sorry if i hurt anyones feelings here.
no body here replied eid mubarak to me.
regards
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Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 02 December 2009 at 8:38am
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Share the others Eid Mubarak on this post, http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15883 - http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15883 ------------- And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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Posted By: Samir_Abdul
Date Posted: 07 December 2009 at 2:05pm
true story sister..islam trancends race and nationality...i would marry a muslim woman from any race, and long as she carries herself an a upright manner which most do....but i have nothing but repsect for my muslim brothers and sister reguardess of race...and also im an theres nothing wrong with speaking english with an accent from your native country...one of my friends at school is from the ivory coast, and i love her accent...
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Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 07 December 2009 at 8:59pm
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Salam brother,
i never meant that any one is not good muslim but this is a different kind of argument,and yes speaking in an accent is no harm infact its good when you have same people arround even i do so,but someone does this to sound stylish looks so cheap,a global accent is the best approach when you dont have english as your mother tounge.
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Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 1:55am
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Fais,
'but someone does this to sound stylish looks so cheap' So how can you tell on this forum how people sound!!?? And certainly I never portray myself as anything other than what I am, as this is what you suggested in your post to FOH's If I word myself well its not wrong, and who has ever said I have a good image here? You are trying to paint a false picture to others about me by posting such nonsense. You are new here, and I guess you need to build up a good raport with others. ------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 5:02am
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Salam and eid mubraq martha,
First of all where were you from so many days martha.
there are so many things getting mixed up,i just answered the brothers post nothing lese,my point was we asians have a habit of accepting the native speakers as best and respect their words cause they are brit or american,i see this everyday in my life,so please dont mix many arguments in this by taking one peace of the whole para you cant put me on the wrong side you have to read it whole and answer.
same thing i said to the brother, he tought i am against using accent but that is not the case i am against the sick psychy of feeling great if you speak english in an american accent.
and on top of this you sound like a duck when you not using proper grammer and jump on the last part of language which is called accent.
please no offence native english speakers
Regards
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Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 5:21am
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Salam Fais,
Sigh...Eye waz awey frum forearm fur sum daiz becuse I um tirad ov sum peeple. Bot I um bak nouw. Iz miy gramer beta nouw? Bot maiybee eye um ah duc..qwac qwac, bot I um a harppy duc. Av u gud dai ------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 11 December 2009 at 2:12am
Apu? is that you? |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 13 December 2009 at 12:44am
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salam
I was talking about the people who are not native english speakers .plz understand me yaar.
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Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 13 December 2009 at 11:31am
Salam, OK that is fine. I appreciate your English is not that great, so I will try to figure out what you are saying before I reply. Deal? ------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 13 December 2009 at 9:23pm
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Salam,
I accept it that my english is not so good,but what i said i think was clear enough to understand.
Regards
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Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 14 December 2009 at 4:18am
sigh..no brother it isn't. ------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 14 December 2009 at 4:46am
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Salam,
ok so leave it,we talk about it some times later,
Regards
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