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Assalamu A3laykum Wa Rahmatu Allah Wa Barakatuh.
I'm in a very bad situation, and I'm in need of Islamic advice please. I live in the U.S. and there's this sister back home in Tunisia which was with me in class in middle school that I liked. In 2005 I asked my blood sister to find out if she's married or not, she wasn't. I sent my mom and my sister to their house to talk to her family. Ladies talked and everything was ok. I started talking to the sister over the phone every now and then to make sure we're compatible and get ready for marriage. I was supposed to go back home last October to talk to her father to engage her, and I was going to come back again within a 6-8 months period to get married and bring her here to the U.S.
Last September, the sister told me we have to postpone the engagement because her dad is sick (he has heart problems, blood pressure....), her brother is in the army, so they're going to send him for training in early October, so we can't do anything now. I had to postpone my vacation and plans. A couple of months later, we agreed that June will be the best time for engagement, since everybody will be on vacation in Tunisia. I agreed, and I just scheduled my vacation for July. Yesterday, after a phone conversation with the sister, she said that her father didn't approve, and they're still talking to him. I asked why? she said because he thinks that when we get married, the U.S. embassy will not approve her paperwork to join me here in the U.S. and she'll be stuck there, which is a total bogus reason. Her father probably talked to his brother whose sons live in the U.S. about this subject, and he told him the bogus info. Then she said he probably doesn't want me to live far away from them, which is a selfish reason on their part because we love each other so much, we can't live without each other, and that they're standing in their daughter's happiness way. I'm a Muslim also, educated, have a good job, able to support a family, and I don't smoke, drink, use drugs, or anything haram.
The sister obtained her degree last year, and we agreed that she won't work, and he father asks her to get a job which she will not do. She asked me to give her sometime to try to get her mom and sisters to convince her dad otherwise, they don't want to pressure him so much due to his health, and I agreed.
My question is, don't you think that her dad excuses are ridiculous, and selfish? I even told the sister, even if he thinks hey won't give her an immigrant visa which is unlikely, I'm a U.S. citizen. I'm willing to move back home and live together there. What do you think I should do in this situation. I was just told this yesterday, and I am so much in love with her, and she's too. I don't know what to do, my thought process is all mixed up now. I couldn't report to work yesterday or today, I can't touch any of my textbooks. Her father is a religious man also. Can you please offer advice?
Jazakum Allah Khayran
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