In a year I will be moving to Egypt to mary my Fiance Amr.  I am an American Christian women so this is a big move for me.  Amr want me to convert to Muslim and to raise our future children Muslim.  I would like to know what is the difference between Christianity and Muslim and what is expected of a good Muslim wife. 

I know that Amr is a very sweet man, and he has told me he will not keep me in a restricted marrage but I am still scared,  now that we have been engaged for 3 months we decided to have a clean slate and tell eachother of sins we have done in the past, I told Amr of my romances and sexual relations in the past.  I thought it was only fair of him to know.  I would never cheat on him or think of being unfaithful but he told me that even though he forgives the past transgretions he would kill me or divorse me if they happened from now on.  Since that is not something I would do should I worry or do I just let it go?

Sister

Have you ever been to Egypt?

Cause girl no one could tell you like i can. I am american revert to Islam and just returned from Egypt.

I have all the inside info and honestly, you have to look at the person. He may have said something like that, but look where he comes from. You know his real character, so what do you think?

Plesae follow your heart but be prepared for what is instore for you.

Take care

Farrah

Bismillah,

I agree with Jenni that you should seriously reconsider marrying someone who would theaten to kill you for something, anything.  This is a serious character flaw.  A person like this has other, hidden difficulties that manifest themselves over time.

However, this said, people say things jokingly or lovingly and the words aren't the important thing.  You must decide if he was serious or meant you to take him seriously.  You are young and your whole life is ahead of you.   Rami's suggestion might seem difficult, but it would be good to see him in his home environment, and meet and get to know his family first before marriage.

And Islaam is the kindest faith.  Allah, SWT, forgives our sins without an intercessor or blood sacrifice.  Allah, SWT, knows if our intentions are pure, and that is all that is needed for forgiveness.  When Allah, SWT, created this earth, he promised that his Mercy is greater than his Wrath.  And Allah, SWT, is neither male nor female!

Pray for guidance.  Allah hears all prayers, stardust.

I would worry too about someone threatening me over anything. When you marry him and move there then you are on his land and in his culture. Who's to say he gets paranoid and THINKS you are doing something when in fact you are not. What will he do then?

I agree you should go there first and see if you can live in that way. This will let you know how the country is, how they feel about you and how he acts with you when you are in Egypt. Also, how his family treats you.  You do not just want to move there without knowing anything first.

Be careful,

Lameese

You should know him for two years and get to understand his character and how he is reacting to different situations good and bad before you think of marrying him, let alone moving to another country. Religion is a big difference and you would be better to embrace Islam with your whole heart with your success in mind, not his acceptance.

Three months is not enough time to know someone enough to marry them. This may be normal in some cultures which are Islamic, but usually the families know each other and their is a Wali who can negotiate on your behalf. Don't be confused by what you are feeling now, follow your most reasonable thoughts, ask God to help you to make the best decision. It's best to wait some time to know this person better. Why WHY did you tell him of your past mistakes? Like children, men should be on a NEED TO KNOW BASIS. How would this information benefit the relationship? Mistake you made in my opinion. If he is mad what if he uses this information to hurt you and undermine your character. It is imperative to get to understand his character and see how he can deal with life's difficuties for a while before you make a commitment.

MayPB

I would get to know him far more then you do now. For him to suggest 'killing you' is not a very good sign. It is not a joking matter and if he were serious then I would not feel safe. I teach self-defense and frankly I'd be headed in the other direction if anyone made these comments to be. That is me personally. People often change after marriage. So many women felt something a bit 'off' but did not follow their instincts, just wanted it all to be true and good. And after the marriage.. it all begins-control or different levels of abuse-mentally, physically emotionally. Listen to your instincts. In any case I would learn some self-defense. All women should learn some (in my humble opinion).

One thing that Islam has taught me is that on one level, we want love and happiness but its also a basic agreement to create a union and family structure. And that we need to look at the 'soundness' of this person to marry.  Here in the west we tend to get all mixed up and not look at it as a functional unit. We MUST be practical and logical. Can the husband provide, is he honest, respectful, kind, etc. We 'see' what we want to see because we want those feelings. That is why having other's give their opinion is important. Other people see different things.    

If you can go and live there for a period of time. When we marry we do also marry into a family. That is more so elesewhere then in the west.  If I were to marry and move I would find out whether the family accepts me. I do not think I could handle marrying someone and their family did not accept me (or I accept them), truly accept me. Its hard enough to move eleswhere, let alone into a new way of life in a different culture and not have support.

As far as what to expect or the differences some is religious and some is cultural. It all depends what you've grown up and used to. 

Becoming a Moslem: only do that if your heart and mind speak to you. Learn what you can about Islam, read the Quran and listen to your heart and mind. To do it to please others is fraught with trouble. Islam is alot about intentions. Many women first hear about Islam through some man they met (this often happens since men are more out and about.) This may be romantic or not. But do it for you.

yann237 wrote: You're lucky of being a Christian woman marrying a Muslim. ,Cause, i've seen, on this forum, a few years ago a Muslim woman wanting to marry a Christian man. ...Boy! Did insults, threats and the most HARAAM words were written to that woman! seems bizarre how HARAAM levels vary depending of the topic... A male. (sorry!)

I was here to see all of that too! It was horrible what was said to her but, she married him anyway!

Lameese

Well

I am an Egyptian guy living in Egypt. First i would like to state that there shouldnt be any conversion to Islam just because of Love. This is the first step. Second, Islam is beautoiful yes but Egypt has a lot of cultural issues . They dont relate to Islam and sometimes sabbotage things. Family also plays a big role and if they dont like teh girl their son os marrying then it is hell really . Also bieng a muslim doesnt mean he is a practicing muslim.

I think if any lady wants to marry then she should marry from her culture. Western converts to Islam should marry each others . Egyptian muslims should marry eachothers. Culture plays an important role. Why risk and venture with so much ?

I think the sister should think about all what have been said to her on this thread because its true. She can go on vacation and should definetly take it easy .

If you need any more information about Egypt sister you can PM me.

salam