Home remedies

The chairperson of Amnesty Internationalon responsible for annoying the
Chinese sent this to me with item number eight underlined.
I found all but number eight unhelpful.


AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES



1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup
of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be
almost instantly removed.



2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.



3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet
seat just by using the sink.



4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed
for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use an egg timer.



5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.



6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you
will be afraid to cough.



7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget all about the toothache.



8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really
are: In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and
does, use the duct tape.



9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.



10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.



Thought for the day: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..... THEY ARE NOT
REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING... BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR
FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

10 is more a sentence to live by