His single friend ruining our marriage

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   Me and my husband has been married for almost a year now. His single friends call him whenever and he's just up and out. Before marriage his life was all about his friends. He was out all the time, apparently. Even if I emionally blackmail him to stay home, he feels that his time with his friend would be more fun and he starts having FOMO (fear of missing out). Often time he starts getting into a mood and won't put as much effort into our time together. 

He has this one friend who's suposidly his best buddy and he owes a lot to him in terms of who he is now. I hate this guy so much. He comes across as someone so manipulative and controlling. Before we got married, this friend already put into my husband's mind that your wife will stop you from having friends and you'll resent and hate her for it, one day. Basically, what I think he meant is that don't let your wife come in between your friends by letting her control you because you'll wake up, not only, with no friends but also hate her for it. Any who, I just do not think that this friend has my husband's best interest at heart. 

This is a bit separate but I just do not agree with the kind of person my husbands friend is. His lifestyle etc. He has a girlfriend who he has harram relationship with and this girlfriend also works at the same place as my husband. And because my husband can't say no to this guy, he'd often ask for favours like drop me and my girlfriend to X because my car isn't working. Plus, this girl comes and talk to my husband at work and my husband think it's okay to talk to her. And now this girl is saying that I want to meet your wife and I feel the agenda behind this is so we can all be friends. And we can all double date and hang out and all these problems I have with him going out would go away. 

Also, if I say anything and I mean anything about this friend and his life style, my husband gets so angry and calls me judgemental and extremist and what not. 

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Traveller101 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 22 June 2019 Location: London Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote Traveller101 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: His single friend ruining our marriage Posted: 22 June 2019 at 2:55pm
	Me and my husband has been married for almost a year now. His single friends call him whenever and he's just up and out. Before marriage his life was all about his friends. He was out all the time, apparently. Even if I emionally blackmail him to stay home, he feels that his time with his friend would be more fun and he starts having FOMO (fear of missing out). Often time he starts getting into a mood and won't put as much effort into our time together. He has this one friend who's suposidly his best buddy and he owes a lot to him in terms of who he is now. I hate this guy so much. He comes across as someone so manipulative and controlling. Before we got married, this friend already put into my husband's mind that your wife will stop you from having friends and you'll resent and hate her for it, one day. Basically, what I think he meant is that don't let your wife come in between your friends by letting her control you because you'll wake up, not only, with no friends but also hate her for it. Any who, I just do not think that this friend has my husband's best interest at heart. This is a bit separate but I just do not agree with the kind of person my husbands friend is. His lifestyle etc. He has a girlfriend who he has harram relationship with and this girlfriend also works at the same place as my husband. And because my husband can't say no to this guy, he'd often ask for favours like drop me and my girlfriend to X because my car isn't working. Plus, this girl comes and talk to my husband at work and my husband think it's okay to talk to her. And now this girl is saying that I want to meet your wife and I feel the agenda behind this is so we can all be friends. And we can all double date and hang out and all these problems I have with him going out would go away. Also, if I say anything and I mean anything about this friend and his life style, my husband gets so angry and calls me judgemental and extremist and what not.

Dr. Aslam Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Admin Group Male Islam Joined: 24 February 2018 Location: California, USA Status: Offline Points: 279	Post Options Post Reply Quote Dr. Aslam Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 July 2019 at 3:02pm
	Wa alaikum, Its a sad situation. You need to discuss with your husband the situation in a calm and firm manner. You should explain to him your concerns and apprehensions and remind him of the limitations in relationship. Aslam
	Best Regards, Aslam Abdullah

HabibUrRehman Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Male Joined: 25 July 2019 Location: CA Status: Offline Points: 4	Post Options Post Reply Quote HabibUrRehman Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 25 July 2019 at 11:06am
	It seems like you have already tried to discuss this with your husband but he is not willing to listen anything against his friends. Let me ask some question to give you a better advice. Was this an arranged marriage? Does your and his family know about this? Have you considered marriage counseling? Did you discuss this idea with your husband?