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I'm mentally ill and depressed

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OSMANLI2012 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote OSMANLI2012 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 August 2015 at 4:51am
Salam alaikoum ,

im writing to you as I can see you have anxiety disorder as my wife.

Im an 30 year old guy who have been married since August,

I only Meet my wife once with the fathers permission just to talk regarding a marriage.

She talked normally and so forth but Since I had several problems, We had agreed living with my parent before marrying and I told That I both want to look after my parent plus the economy doesnt reach to have my own.

But she dont now want to live with my parents and since she dont even cook either Clean properly at home,

After work I have to the Womans job also.

She dont want to visit either my family members neither her own.

Recently I found out that she has Social anxiety and I have been patient and did accept a lot of things, but Soon I cant bear this anymore.

Her parents doesnt know she has this illnes even they have seen her symptoms.

So I will ask for your help from you brothers, Should I divorce or not, Is it bad according to Islam?
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Tim the plumber View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tim the plumber Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 August 2015 at 1:36pm
Originally posted by xaniaalexander xaniaalexander wrote:

I've lost my job when my colleagues found out about my illness. Right now I'm feeling really down because I'm jobless and don't have money. I'm away from my family and I'm alone this ramadhan.

My hobby is reading self-improvement books, but when I'm depressed I have no interest in doing anything except sleep whole day. No depressed person can be positive.

I have another thing to ask. Is self-inflicted injury (e.g. cutting my skin or overdose) a sin too?


I am very sorry that your work colleagues reacted so wrongly to your situation. The world has lots of mad people in it some of us have not been diagnosed yet, that's all.

Being away from your family is very hard on your mental health. It is probably a very good idea to get back to them if at all possible.

In this modern world there is a silly expectation that we can all be superman. There are some of us who can do it all alone. Not many though. I am not one of the super men (or women). I need support from those around me.

Your "hobby" of reading self help books strikes me as a very bad one. It would make me depressed. Such a level of thinking about yourself is just going to end up with you seeing all the bad bits of yourself. Everybody has bad bits. So?

Please get a new hobby. It needs to get you out of the house. It needs to get you into a club or some social group where you can talk about the subject and get absorbed into it. It needs to not actually be important in the rest of your life or it will stop being a hobby. How do you fancy bird watching/studying? Or artistic painting? Or bicycle riding? Or what ever.

If it is of any use; Working on building sites, being a bit nuts is about average. Considerably nuts is common. Lots of us have been in residential care on occaision. Since you are on the flakey spectrum don't do electrical work, it sends you more mad but do try to be a brick layer. From my experience they are the most grounded like a mountain bunch you will ever meet. Cantankerous obstructive b*****ds the lot of them but they do that just to wind the rest of us up.

Good luck!

P.S. Just noticed that somebody else has said that you are female. The bricklayer idea might not be the most appropriate.....LOL oops.Smile


Edited by Tim the plumber - 08 August 2015 at 1:45pm
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Momee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Momee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 August 2015 at 10:11pm
Salam. I have been there, done that and back and forth. Everyone situation is different, but I wanted to share this YouTube video that has helped me so much. Please watch/listen.
I also advise you to find a Dr you are comfortable with...follow their guidelines with the medication PLEASE! I promise it gets better. It takes time and I am the most impatient person in the world and I got through it. I will pray for you now and will pray for you often. Please keep us updated. How lucky we are to have Allah at any given moment to turn to...
You are not alone :)

http://youtu.be/fmDisoif3Vw

Edited by Momee - 15 August 2015 at 10:12pm
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craziirabbit View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote craziirabbit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 December 2015 at 7:11pm
Contentment is the magic cure for depression?  Really?  Wow!  maybe I should just be content....

Since when do we negate the words of doctors?  Why do we pursue education and then make our own opinions about how to fix things?

Depression is caused by our external environment, but with internal neurological effects.  This should be diagnosed and treated by a physician.  Even if only temporarily, medication should be considered.

Now I am not a fan of medication, but sometimes, you need a boost in the right direction, especially if you are feeling so low that you may considering self harm.

Then, consistent visits with a therapist.  Dealing with severe depression is a serious issue.  As you would treat a serious injury with medication and supplies, you should treat your brain the same way.  Depression is basically a redirection of nerve impulses in destructive patterns.  It can be a result of trauma and learning how to survive the best way you can, without proper instructions. 

A therapist is trained to teach you these instructions, and that is why they are so important.  A therapist will retrain your brain to deal with situations and everyday life in a productive way, instead of destructive.  Medication makes it easier to relax the mind and learn new skills.

I don't believe medication is a long term fix and shouldn't be used as a crutch. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote maryam223 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2016 at 3:47pm
i hope you can get over your depression, this life is a test, sometimes the lord tests us to bring us closer to him. i always remember a story that my dad told me. a man comes to prophet muhammad (pbuh) and says "oh prohpet, my life is so good, everything is wonderfull, i have it so easy!" the prophet then tells him "God has ignored you." this life is a dream, and we will wake up from it very soon, recite some durroods and read the qu'ran to strengthen your believe, pray, and i hop things get better for you insha'alla
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote xaniaalexander Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 January 2016 at 5:56am
thanks for everyone's comments. I really appreciate them. I think I'm fine now because I'm with my family. and I have a good thing to share too. I've found a new hobby...or maybe a passion... now I love cooking and baking. I cooked whenever I have the chance to do so and I always tried new recipes. I'm happy now.
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Tim the plumber View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tim the plumber Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 January 2016 at 10:26am
Originally posted by xaniaalexander xaniaalexander wrote:

thanks for everyone's comments. I really appreciate them. I think I'm fine now because I'm with my family. and I have a good thing to share too. I've found a new hobby...or maybe a passion... now I love cooking and baking. I cooked whenever I have the chance to do so and I always tried new recipes. I'm happy now.


Super!

Good luck!Clap
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Saleha_Kh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 January 2016 at 6:54am
The more you stay inside the room, them roe you get depressed. Get involved in some work, some activity something that interests you. You'll feel the difference.
   
Also see your doctor who can do some tests to see if you lack some vitamins, which can cause such depression.
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