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Derailing Threads That Beseech Our Help

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Khadija1021 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 16 December 2005 at 10:08am

Assalmau Alaikum

 

I have started this thread because I simply don�t want to add to derailed threads by continuing to beseech others not to do so once it becomes obvious that the thread has been derailed and it is likely that the person who started the thread is not being respected or given the help they have asked for because others are too busy fighting over basic issues, although they may be important, that are not relevant to the thread.  Doing so discourages others from posting and may lead some not to ask us for our help.  Is this true Islamic behavior?

 

So, along those lines I want to convey a message to Brother Community about comments he made on Brother Imam�s thread about a dream he had. Brother Community, Brother Imam wanted to know if anyone has insight on what this dream meant.  Mind you, Brother Imam was not asking if his bread was obligatory in Islam or not.  However, you came on the thread and starts preaching about breads and how they are not obligatory in Islam (this by the way is a heated debate amongst scholars�but as you have stated in other posts, you don�t respect scholars and discourage others from doing so as well).  Regardless whether you take wearing a beard to be a �clear� issue, it is not for many, and hence, it should not be brought up in a topic that is not directly about it because it will derail the thread.  It is not as if we are limited to the number of new threads we can start; of all people, you should know that.

 

Originally posted by Khadija1021 Khadija1021 wrote:

Brother Community, this is not a debate about the obligatory nature of wearing a beard.  If you would like to discuss that, I beseech you to start another thread.

 

Originally posted by Community Community wrote:

I am already done, have some respect instead of insolently dare to tell me what to do.

 

When I posted my comment (see above), pleading (beseeching) you to start a new thread if you wanted to discuss the obligatory nature of brothers wearing beards, I was not being disrespectful or rude to you, although it is obvious that you took it that way.  Maybe you are under the impression that it is �insolent� for any sister to point out a potential error in your actions.  If that is the case, it is not my fault that you hold on to such false beliefs.  If it is not the cause, maybe you would like to point out how I was being rude and disrespectful.  Maybe you think I should have sent you a PM regarding the matter; however, I have my own beliefs about PMing brothers.  I think it is more in tune with Islam if I stay out of �private� communication with brothers. 

 

Brother Community, this is not the first time you have derailed a thread due to your attempts to pass on to everyone your idea of what is Islamic-ly correct.  I am not trying to say what you are doing it wrong, just how you are going about it is not conducive to helping those who are asking for help.  In fact, it may make some turn away from IC.  Maybe you don�t care about that but I, for one, do.  As a member of this forum group I have a right to expect others to be respectful of those who start new thread topics.  No, I don�t expect anyone to be perfect�we are all humans�however, what is wrong with being appreciative when someone shows us an error in our thinking or actions?

 

I don�t know if anyone else agrees with my position, but there it is.  I think we all should pay closer attention to keeping threads on topic, especially when the thread was started as a means to ask for help.

 

May Allah guide us and keep us on His Straight Path.

 

Allah Hafiz

 

Sister Khadija

Say: 'My prayer and my rites, my living and my dying, are for Allah alone, the Lord of all the worlds. (Qur'an, 6:162)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Khadija1021 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 December 2005 at 10:13am

Oops...would a moderator please move this thread to the "Commetns & Complaints" section of the forum board.  I accidently put it under the wrong section.

Sorry for posting it  in the wrong place...my bad...please forgive me.

Jazak Allah Khair

Khadija



Edited by Khadija1021
Say: 'My prayer and my rites, my living and my dying, are for Allah alone, the Lord of all the worlds. (Qur'an, 6:162)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Khadija1021 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 December 2005 at 11:08am

Assalamu Alaikum

 

Originally posted by Angela Angela wrote:

I am already done, have some respect instead of insolently dare to tell me what to do.

All she did was ask nicely, Community.....if you want people to be nice and engage you with respect, you too must give respect back.

That is something earned, not just given. 

Originally posted by Community Community wrote:

Yes i know, but i had patience with her in the past already and not only in the other thread but a while back, now it was my time to set something straight.

Originally posted by Community Community wrote:

I disagree look at what she sees as a basis of telling me that i should take it somewhere else. "this is not a debate about the obligatory nature of wearing a beard.  If you would like to discuss that, I beseech you to start another thread."

This was not what i was debating at all, nor did i wish to debate it. I said what i had to say and was done, no need for this irrelevant comment.

Originally posted by Community Community wrote:

She basically implies wearing a beard is obligatory and then tells ME to discuss it in another thread? what lunacy is this?

 

 

The above quotes are from Brother Imam�s thread about his dream but I don�t want to add to the derailing of his thread by continuing there.  So, here goes.

 

 

Brother Community, I am sorry that you feel as if you have had patience with me in the past over issues you had with me that you failed to point out to me.  However, I am not a mind reader.  I am not opposed to others pointing out my errors especially if they feel I have treated them unjustly.  Can you tell me how your remark that I was insolent to you in Brother Imam�s thread was a means to �set something straight�?  Things are only set straight when people are willing to be clear about what the problem is.   It is obvious by what you said to Sister Angela that you feel I have cause you harm in the past; however, I was not away of that.  Are you using the past (one I was not even away of) to justify your aggression towards me now?  Is that fair?  Or is that just a way to get the heat off you that Sister Angela put on you by pointing our your error?

 

 

I think you want to find a means to justify you response to my simple please not to derail Brother Imam�s thread.  You go on to say you are right about my rudeness, that I was falsely accusing you of something, and point out that you were not trying to debate the issue of the obligatory nature of wearing a beard.  You even go as far as to accuse me of implying that wearing a beard in Islam is obligatory.  I�m sorry but I in no way shape or form implied that.  Regardless of its �obligatory� status (meaning is or is not and not that it is), the fact is that many Muslims debate that issue and as such, since you brought up the issue of its (a beard�s) status in Islam by stating what you said in the quote below, it was and issue that drew attention away from Brother Imam�s request for help regarding his dream. 

 

 

Originally posted by Community Community wrote:

The only time Allah swt mentions the beard in the koran is when Mosa the peace is upon him came back to his people and they have started worshipping the golden calf when he was gone, Haroon alayhi assalaam said to Mosa his brother, "do not take me by the beard" because he saw Mosa was angry at his people for this idolworship and he feared Mosa would hold him responisble, now if the beard is such an epitome of faith then why is the only reference to it in the koran like this? 

 They wear a beard thinking that is what makes them right but they will come to know.

 

 

Brother Community, I beseech you to not only reconsider you judgment of me regarding the issue I brought forth about Brother Imam�s thread but to speak to me openly if you feel I wronged you in the past.  How can I ask for your forgiveness if I don�t even know I did something wrong?  I am not perfect.  I know I am not always the perfect example of patients and that I am prone to error just as others are.  I even appreciated and ask Allah to bless those that point out my errors because I do not want to be in error or to cause anyone, especially my brothers and sister in Islam, harm of any kind.  So, if I have done something to harm you in the past I truly am sorry; however, I would like to know what I did so that I can strive to not do it again in the future.

 

Jazak Allah Khair

 

Sister Khadija

Say: 'My prayer and my rites, my living and my dying, are for Allah alone, the Lord of all the worlds. (Qur'an, 6:162)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Khadija1021 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 December 2005 at 11:38am

Originally posted by Khadija1021 Khadija1021 wrote:

 Salma,

 

Brother Community, please, I beseech you to start another thread.  Your comments are not relevant to this thread topic.  I so want to make comments on what you are saying but out of respect for Brother Premed96, I feel this is not right�

 

Can�t a moderator do something about this flagrant violation of the forum rules?????

PAZ

Khadija

 

Originally posted by Community Community wrote:

You want to be like a child then i will treat you as a child, your comments are not relevant to this thread so i urge you to take it somewhere else.

 

Brother Community, I know my comment was not about the thread; it was an attempt to save the integrity of Brother Premed96�s thread and his request for help regarding a fallen brother.  In my opinion it is rude and thoughtless to derail a thread which has been posted as a means to cry out of help.  The fact that you�and Brother Rami�got into a debate over the nature of scholars instead of addressing Brother Premed96�s question is simply rude and uncalled for.  If you two want to have a debate about scholars, go right ahead but please do so on your own thread and not on Brother Premed96�s thread.  I take the issue he wanted help on to be very serious.

 

If you think �I�m� being childish by pointing this out, I guess that is your right and your opinion.  However, if what I am doing is childish, I think it is better to be childish in situations such as this.  How would you like it if you were sitting somewhere having a serious conversation with someone you  had gone to for help regarding a grave problem and someone else came along and interrupted and started arguing about something that didn�t directly pertain to the conversation you were having?  I don�t think you would like it or appreciate it one bit.  You might even tell them to please take the conversation someplace else or have it on their time not yours.  That is how I view threads where others are beseeching us for help.  It is okay if I show respect to those who are seeking our help, isn�t it?

 

I don�t know why you are taking my comments so negatively and it bothers me.  I did not speak in a rude tone just as I did not speak to you in a rude way regarding the other thread.  They were simply requests to be respectful to Brother Premed96�s and Brother Imam�s situations.

 

Allah Khair

 

Sister Khadija 



Edited by Khadija1021
Say: 'My prayer and my rites, my living and my dying, are for Allah alone, the Lord of all the worlds. (Qur'an, 6:162)
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