new convert needs help

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   You are married now, with a son, hopefully that has a dad, Your Mom raised you long enough to be where you are today, if you can find a safe heaven and shelter with her for now, that will be a great but challenging blessing for both of you. Your husband was just "O.K" with your son and knew you had a son, a 4y.o doesn't take up that much space that he couldn't accommodate him, I guess you will be going to Morocco without your son too! What about the son's daddy? I know where I came from 9 of us grew in a one bedroom apt., your husband has his side of the story that we don't have, so I'll pray for good outcome for both of you. I was moved reading all the genuine post replies prior to mine, May Allah continues to guide us all onto the right path (Amen) 

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Naykas Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Male Joined: 11 December 2014 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 40	Post Options Post Reply Quote Naykas Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 07 January 2015 at 5:00pm
	You are married now, with a son, hopefully that has a dad, Your Mom raised you long enough to be where you are today, if you can find a safe heaven and shelter with her for now, that will be a great but challenging blessing for both of you. Your husband was just "O.K" with your son and knew you had a son, a 4y.o doesn't take up that much space that he couldn't accommodate him, I guess you will be going to Morocco without your son too! What about the son's daddy? I know where I came from 9 of us grew in a one bedroom apt., your husband has his side of the story that we don't have, so I'll pray for good outcome for both of you. I was moved reading all the genuine post replies prior to mine, May Allah continues to guide us all onto the right path (Amen)

lady Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 20 September 2006 Status: Offline Points: 314	Post Options Post Reply Quote lady Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 10 January 2015 at 5:44pm
	It is hard for me to believe that a Moroccan guy has a problem with sharing an one bedroom apartment with his wife's 4 YEAR OLD SON. A lot of foreignors don't think that it is a big deal to have an one bedroom apartment with even more than one child. Why would he encourage you to go go your mother's house where it is difficult for you to pray there and practice your religion? You have been married for four or more months now, and he wants to sleep separate from you already? It is true that we don't have his side of the story, but even if we do, his reasons to keep your son away does not make any sense. Unless your neighborhood is crawling with rock monsters, scary people or maybe you live in a haunted apartment, I still do not understand why he does not want your baby to live with you now. I think that it is interesting at this point that you think that maybe you have married him too soon. Another thing too is that you are concern that he does not really want your son around. It is your obligation to protect your son. And not exposing him to being around an alcoholic is protecting him. You said that your mother is fine because she raised you ok. But then you fear that maybe they will be hard on your 4 YEAR OLD SON. I don't feel like from your statement that your son would be ok there. you know your mother well. So what is making you fear that they will give a CHILD a hard time? A lot of converts make the mistake of marrying too quickely. You needed to pray istekara before marrying your husband,and have several people to research who your husband really is. Now you are married, I would say that you try to make the best out of your marriage. It is your job to protect your child. And how you do that is your decision. It is not always necessary to get a divorce. I pray that Allah you and your family. Edited by lady - 10 January 2015 at 7:00pm

lady Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 20 September 2006 Status: Offline Points: 314	Post Options Post Reply Quote lady Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 10 January 2015 at 5:49pm
	How long has he been living in America? Does his family know that you have a child? Edited by lady - 10 January 2015 at 6:57pm

Abu Loren Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 29 June 2012 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 1646	Post Options Post Reply Quote Abu Loren Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 11 January 2015 at 11:05am
	Is he looking for a green card?
	La Ilaha IllAllah

marwa1991 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 17 December 2014 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 5	Post Options Post Reply Quote marwa1991 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13 January 2015 at 10:36am
	elhumdidillah for all the advice. and no hes not looking for a green card. his family did not know we were married at first, and none of his friends here know. as far as knowing about my son i dont thhink that they really know. my husband said he just cant handle the stress of having a kid in such a small place. but before we got married he was makingmethink he was gonna livewith us. we was looking at furniture and everything. i know allah know best, but i a really bad feelingabout this. and now i told him i wasnt going to morocco without my son and he told me if i didnt go then we were gonna get a divorce that he didnt want to hear anything else about it.

abc 123 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Male Joined: 06 January 2015 Status: Offline Points: 26	Post Options Post Reply Quote abc 123 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 30 January 2015 at 11:40am
	"Salam" sis How well financially are you? Can you help your husband and pay the extra to what he is paying now so you could all move to the bigger flat? We don't know your husband side of the story, .. so we cant make an accurate and fair judgment on the situation. Maybe he have his excuse, .. maybe he is not mature enough to be a stepfather? But from what I read, I don't like it. There's a sense of selfishness, and an inhumane position .. and that is NOT Islamic. If I was in your shoe, and I'm not : 1- get the "imam" that rushed you into marriage, involved in resolving this, .. let him judge if this is "haram", and if it's excuse enough to get divorce. 2- make it clear that you can't leave your child behind, .. and the best you can do on your part, is wait for him to come back from his visit. (although still, the fate of your child when he come back remain undetermined) Last but not least, .. do "isteakhara" prayer over this, .. get closer to God, specially in the third part of the night, .. asking him for help and guidance. Best wishes and prays to you.