Muslim in a Non-Muslim Community

Hello everyone! As the title suggests, I am a Muslim, I took my Shahadah yesterday, that lives in a non-Muslim. Community. Seriously. There are no mosques or places of worship around here. The closest place is in the nearest city, and that would be costly to go to for worship five times a day. So I am forced to do it from home. On top of that no one, that I know of, is Muslim around here. I feel as if it's just me.

I grew up Christian. But even though I believed in God and felt something, I also felt something incomplete in me. No matter how hard I tried or prayed, I could never let go of my addictions (porn and other sexual activities). I went like this for years, just looking for an answer.

A few months ago, I started to look into Islam after watching the movie "Malcolm X". In my studies I ordered a free translation of the Qur'an in English. I still didn't take Islam seriously as I looked at the methods of prayer, thinking that Muslims must have been border line crazy.

After receiving the translation of the Holy Qur'an in the mail, I began to read it. I still didn't take it seriously. Not until a few weeks later, in which I began to feel a strong pull to Islam. I looked at the book daily, just the cover, without opening it.

After a few days of this feeling, I prayed to God for guidance in this matter. Even after praying, I felt an ever stronger pull toward Islam and the Qur'an. So I took my Shahadah, reciting the words of another Muslim on youtube. This person I had been in argument with about Islam and Christianity. Which is one of the biggest reasons I started to look into Islam.

I began to become frustrated with the prayers as I could never find anything that would be remotely helpful. Even after I did, I found it hard to memorize the prayer is Arabic. And then, after awhile, I looked for errors in the Qur'an, hoping to find them. I did, or so I thought. And right then I reverted back to Christianity. I didn't even research these "errors".

Not long after that, I became an Agnostic trying to start my own religion. Then my dad's girlfriend left him and took his youngest two kids (my half siblings) and left a mess in his apartment. Now my dad can't take care of himself thanks to the stroke he had two years ago when I was sixteen. The stroke was caused by fifteen or so years of meth use. Now he has permanent brain damage. But he is alive and still my dad.

Back to the subject, I moved in with him now that I am eighteen. My mom didn't like it, but understood my reasoning for it and supported me. So I am now caring for my dad who is nearly forty years old.

Yesterday, I began to feel that pull to Islam again. This time, I prayed again and God revealed to me that the Qur'an is indeed the truth. Now I intend to be Muslim for life. But I do not know everything. I have been being patient with the prayer, doing my best to do all the prayers on time or as close to on time as possible. I now know for certain that Allah is guiding me and giving me patience and understanding as I noticed the speed at which I could pray had increased in today. And I am beginning to memorize small bits of the prayer, including the Arabic.

I told my girlfriend that I am Muslim. But she didn't take it very well. She is Christian and I still go to church with her and my dad on Sundays. She has been telling me that there is no truth in the Qur'an and that it is all lies. I asked her to research Islam, but she refused. However, she still loves me enough to allow me to make this decision and yet stay with me. I won't dare tell her parents or they wouldn't allow me to date her anymore. And I have yet to tell my parents. Especially my mother because she would just flip and my grandparents would hear about it and flip too as well as my great grandmother. Heck, my dad might even flip thinking that I lost my mind.

Please pray that Allah will give me the strength, knowledge, and courage to move on. And please teach me some things that all new Muslims should most likely know. Thank you! :)

As-salaam alaikum brother.  It is indeed great to hear that you have reverted to Islam.  I am saddened to hear about your father and I pray that Allah (swt) will help you in this difficult period of your life.  Regarding the prayer, you should never feel frustrated because the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) spoke about his followers in the future who would not know the Arabic language and yet would be among the believers.  He gave glad tidings to those people, which includes you and me (I am from Pakistan and Arabic is not my native language).  In the hadiths (the teachings of the Prophet), we find the following:

"Narrated Aisha: The Prophet said, "Such a person as recites the Quran and masters it by heart, will be with the noble righteous scribes (in Heaven). And such a person exerts himself to learn the Quran by heart, and recites it with great difficulty, will have a double reward." " (Sahih Bukhari, 6:60:459)

Always remember that Allah, our Lord, is merciful and generous.  For all of your struggles, He will be with you and if you remain patient, He will reward you. 

By the way, where do you live?  You mentioned the city, which I assume is New York City.  I live in the tri-state area and depending on where you live, I can perhaps help you locate a mosque. 


Edited by islamispeace - 20 May 2011 at 12:23pm