Urgently Need Scholars Advice

Walaikum Sallam. Why you feel guilty? you did something wrong. Try to compensate to whom you did wrong and ask forgiveness from Allah with deep heart. Thats it. Make life simple. I suggest some body/mind relaxant after consulting doctor. Sticking with one issue and burning all other life is not a good way to go. Your age is just 27 and life is full of thunderstorms; just one breakup makes you so tense and restless body; thats the point to worry.   Man you are too sensitive; marriage bonds are very part of FATE. Allah have decided what is better for you.   No body is perfact in this life except respected prophets; Allah knows this that we are not perfact; he created forgiveness and he like to forgive too. Try to be sincere with people at your best but keep in mind that you ca'nt satisfy everybody everytime.   Also keep in mind very important thing that relationships with girls are prohibited in Islam. Only to some extent there is permission before marriage. Hopefully in your relationship with girl there is nothing that is refrained other wise that is actual thing to worry and feel guilty.   wishes.

Never Give up

Walaikum Sallam. Why you feel guilty? you did something wrong. Try to compensate to whom you did wrong and ask forgiveness from Allah with deep heart. Thats it. Make life simple. I suggest some body/mind relaxant after consulting doctor. Sticking with one issue and burning all other life is not a good way to go. Your age is just 27 and life is full of thunderstorms; just one breakup makes you so tense and restless body; thats the point to worry.   Man you are too sensitive; marriage bonds are very part of FATE. Allah have decided what is better for you.   No body is perfact in this life except respected prophets; Allah knows this that we are not perfact; he created forgiveness and he like to forgive too. Try to be sincere with people at your best but keep in mind that you ca'nt satisfy everybody everytime.   Also keep in mind very important thing that relationships with girls are prohibited in Islam. Only to some extent there is permission before marriage. Hopefully in your relationship with girl there is nothing that is refrained other wise that is actual thing to worry and feel guilty.   wishes.

Never Give up

Asalam-O-Aliekum,

We were friends inially but i realized i liked her and i asked her to marry me. She denied my proposal first for one year, but later when i asked her again after one year to marry me as we were in contact for her so claimed friendship which i denied continously and said to her that i don't believe in frinedship of a boy and girl due to the same factor that it is prohibited in islam and if she cant marry, she should left me but she insisted to keep friendship and i keep insisting for the marriage, after 1 and half year of relationship, she got agree with me to marry me but she said that I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO BECOME A FATHER OF HER CHILD due to removal of Aviries in her childhood. I got shocked and very shocked, and cried alot and asked my ALLAH to help me what is good and what is bad for me. I met many local islamic scholars, i discussed the matter with my one close friend, i did not discuss it at home bcz i knew if i tell them about her then my family will never allow me to marry that girl thats why i kept quite for three years.

I had a mistake when i slaped her in the office infront of all. Infact we had a dinner prog at a local hotel, as per planned i reached the avenue but at the mean time she sms's me that she cant come for lunch provided if i allow her two other friends to come with her, this thing caused to anger me and i rushed into the office in 10 minutes, went striaght to her and slapped her because she lied to me. I felt guilty to the extreme lever and i called her younger sister to come to the office, in the next five minutes i went to her infront of all and told her to forgive me what i did. at night i went to her home with my family for apology. They all told me that they forgive me. and once again we were in relation again but we use fought all the time, in the mean while i sent my parents to her home to ask for her hand for me, but this thing was disturbing me all the time that am i taking a right decision because her mother told me that they don't have any problem in giving her hand to me but I have take Oath over Quran that i will not marry again to any other girl in my life! Mean they were saying that i will have to adopt a child they will give its permission but as for second marriage is concern for Kids, They are asking for Swear over Quran that i will not marry someone else.

On one side, if i don't let my family to know the fact then i am going to decieve them because my parents tell me that they want to see my kids as soon as possible and On the other side, I am not forgetting that girl and want to marry her and she also want to marry me. I asked her for my problem and i told her that let me tell my parents the truth, i will convince them to let me marry you and even if they still deny then we will do court marriage. She siad telling or not telling to my parents is not her problem but my problem and as for court marriage is concern she said she will never take any step agianst her parents will though she said she wants to marry me.

What is the right decision i should take? I am asking my ALLAH all the time to tell me right path, i am very dispersed because if i get her my life will be full of misteries and if i don't get her than still i am getting mad due to this thinking that she did so much sacrifices for me and i am leaving her due to a factor in which she aslo don't have any fault, i am afraid if i do so ALLAH will get angry on me that i did bad and if i get her then the feeling of guilt to lieing to my family is killing me inside.

 

I asked many local scholars but they just told me that its your own choice we cant help you, take your own decision. If i could take my this decision then why would i go to them or why would i write to you today, i need help in taking my decision that what is right decision that which she is saying (by which i can get her easily but have to lie to my parents) or what my inner is saying to tell my parents the truth to take decision for me.  

Let me tell at the end also that what i am feeling guilty of, infact when she kept on not ending up the fights all the time, i started teasing her from an another number in which i talked very wrong to her, but she understood that i was me who was teasing her, when she told me that y i m teasing her from some one else number, i denied fully and said i did not do so, on one side she broke up with me and i was keeping convincing her and on the other side i was keeping teasing her as i did not want her to know that it was me who was teasing her because thats how i will break her trust fully and then i will never be get able to get her thats why not accepting that it is me who is teasing her and she is not believng me. If i tell her that i did, it means end forever and i want to get her, if i tell her the truth i know she will not pardon me for all

this...... HER TENSION, MY OWN TENSION, MY FAMILY TENSION, MY FEELING OF GUILT TENSION..... all these tensions has ruined me, i started taking drugs lightly due to remaining stressfull all the time and to avoid that stress i take drugs which i am afraid that i will get swith to more addicted drugs and i don't want to go away from life by such a way!!!!!! My family needs me, i want to help them to the best of my abilities but i belongs to a middle class family and my mother and father spent very hard time for my happiness al the time, now when they need me, i stuck up in many other problems which i am confused to get ride of!!!!!!! Please pray for me! PLEASE

 

 

I am sorry to write to you soo long, but Please suggest me what is the right decision in perspective of islam. I will be thankful for your valued suggestions.