My husband does not come near me

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   Salaam,

I have been married 12 years. First few years all was great. Then our child was born. I gained some weight and am trying to lose it for a decade but to no success. My husband has lost full interest in me. He is religious, prays 5 times, but does not look at me. Any advice? Suggestion? Help   

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qassal Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 11 May 2015 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote qassal Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: My husband does not come near me Posted: 11 May 2015 at 7:43am
	Salaam, I have been married 12 years. First few years all was great. Then our child was born. I gained some weight and am trying to lose it for a decade but to no success. My husband has lost full interest in me. He is religious, prays 5 times, but does not look at me. Any advice? Suggestion? Help

DocWhoFan Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Joined: 07 May 2015 Status: Offline Points: 4	Post Options Post Reply Quote DocWhoFan Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13 May 2015 at 12:10pm
	Salaam, Hope your situation has improved by now. But if you are in the situation still, have faith in Allah. Pray and recite Allahuakbar, Allhumdullilah, Subhanallah 33 times each. Also try communicating with your husband, tell him how you feel. If he is distant and doesn't seem to understand then try to start your relationship over. What I mean is, start from the beginning and become friends with your husband again. Sometimes, daily routines can cause wife and husband to be distant from eachother. It doesn't have to be anything with you having a child or your body changes. It could simply be that both of you are just following a daily routine. So try to hang out with him and talk to him as a friend. And Inshallah things will begin to change. I will keep you in my prayers. Hope this insight helps, see if you would like to take this advice. :) JazakAllahKhair

lady Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 20 September 2006 Status: Offline Points: 314	Post Options Post Reply Quote lady Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13 May 2015 at 5:10pm
	Walaakum Salaam sister. You say that your husband is religious but he does not give you your rights as a wife? Only Allah knows who is religious. You implied that it is your weight to cause him to not be attentive towards you. So therefore, what are you doing to lose weight? You can message me and I could give you advice on how to lose weight. You must be dedicated in taking care of yourself. Losing weight is not that hard if you are committed in taking care of yourself.

qassal Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 11 May 2015 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote qassal Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 May 2015 at 5:49am
	Salaam, okay, Let me give more details. My husband has been very supportive with me when it comes to losing weight, he reminds me daily for over 8 years now. I just don't have the discipline to do it. He says "for 8 years i have begged you to dress well, wear nice clothes, do your hair, wear nice shoes, but you are always in rags". I always try to do it, but i don't have the will power. He is usually nice to me when I dress well, but how do I maintain it? So as a woman, are we islamically required to dress up and look good? He says he takes care of his body, dresses well, and that I am so ungroomed and he wants the same in return that he gives me. We just keep arguing over this for a decade. I try but always fail. We are leaning towards divorce over this. Am I supposed to dress up for him islamically? Edited by qassal - 14 May 2015 at 8:02am

SenijaSa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Joined: 30 June 2015 Status: Offline Points: 3	Post Options Post Reply Quote SenijaSa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 01 July 2015 at 12:24am
	Salaam sister, as per Islam and per the common sense OF COURSE you have to dress nice smell nice and be beautiful. From the book "The ideal Muslimah" "The wife whose husband only ever sees her with unkempt hair, looking pale and wan and wearing shabby old clothes, is a foolish and disobedient wife. It will be of no help to her if she rushes to beautify herself only when receiving guests, or going to a women's party, but remains looking shabby most of the time in front of her husband. I think that the Muslim woman who is truly guided by the teachings of Islam will be safe from such shortcomings, because she treats her husband properly, and a woman who treats her husband properly is most unlikely to fail in fulfilling her duty towards him." Bad enough that you brought yourself in the situation that he has to tell you to comb your hair? loosing weight is not the first step, it is just one of many. Now get up, take a shower, take out your nicest clothes makeup and perfume and cook his favorite food. Save your marriage sister, you can do it!