embarassing (sisters only pls)

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   Sisters,
I do need advice & I'll try to keep this as discrete as possible.  Regarding when a husband approaches his wife in bed, the wife must concede except during menstruation and couple of other situations like sickness, etc., etc.
My situation is that my husband is very, active? compared to me. For the first year of marriage, intercourse was everyday & I looked only to pls Allah but I couldn't handle it.  I couldn't handle my prayers at all & so after one year I decided it has to be every other day because it was becoming a huge nuisance.  I couldn't handle it. During menstruation my husband wants to approach me but am I obligated?  He wants me to do the other deed but I don't want to. (oral)
If you  need to move this thread anywhere else or censor, pls do so but I really need this advice bcoz its putting a strain in our marriage.  I can't handle so much activity on my body.  My only reason for not saying NO altogether is to please Allah.

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saqeen Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 05 July 2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 13	Post Options Post Reply Quote saqeen Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: embarassing (sisters only pls) Posted: 05 July 2007 at 2:58pm
	Sisters, I do need advice & I'll try to keep this as discrete as possible. Regarding when a husband approaches his wife in bed, the wife must concede except during menstruation and couple of other situations like sickness, etc., etc. My situation is that my husband is very, active? compared to me. For the first year of marriage, intercourse was everyday & I looked only to pls Allah but I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle my prayers at all & so after one year I decided it has to be every other day because it was becoming a huge nuisance. I couldn't handle it. During menstruation my husband wants to approach me but am I obligated? He wants me to do the other deed but I don't want to. (oral) If you need to move this thread anywhere else or censor, pls do so but I really need this advice bcoz its putting a strain in our marriage. I can't handle so much activity on my body. My only reason for not saying NO altogether is to please Allah.

Hayfa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368	Post Options Post Reply Quote Hayfa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 06 July 2007 at 1:33pm
	Asalam Alaikum Saqeen, Welcome to the Forum. Sorry you are having trouble with this situation. One question I would have is, is he doing anything to make it enjoyable for you? Women tend to need different things then men (foreplay, touching, etc.) or is just do it and get it over with, where he seeks his pleasure and not yours. Some men are really oblivoius to the needs of women.
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

saqeen Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 05 July 2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 13	Post Options Post Reply Quote saqeen Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 06 July 2007 at 9:18pm
	Thank you sister for replying. My husband is very loving. He does take ALOT of time to make sure I'm satisfied but unfortunately it's I who just can't keep upto him. Even the month of Ramadan doesn't tire him. But I got my answer through a private message from another sister. Thank you & may Allah bless the both of you. I find relief in the answer I was provided. Salaam

suzy Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 22 June 2007 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 12	Post Options Post Reply Quote suzy Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09 July 2007 at 4:32pm
	salaamz firstly dont be embrassed, we have to discuss these issues as loads of people face them in thier lives, and i think a problem wiv the muslim community is that we hate to discuss SEX!!! its a complete taboo, wen in actual facts Allah ta'ala has created sex for us to enjoy and take pleasure from (in a controlled enviroment ie. marriage), so i defo think we shouldnt be embrassed to discuss such issues. secondly, yes, you cannot deny your husband sex, but you also ahve to follow the rules and regulations set by islam about sexual relations, therefore it is forbidden to have intercourse during menstration whether your husband approaches you or not, it is a major sin to have intercourse whilst menstrating. moreover i think theres different opinions on oral sex. sorry i cant provide you wiv any evidence from the Quran and sunnah but am sure you'll find loads of things on this topic if and when you do more research. hope that helped a little MAY ALLAH GUIDE US TO THE RIGHT PATH...Ameen

Salams_wife Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 31 July 2007 Status: Offline Points: 296	Post Options Post Reply Quote Salams_wife Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 31 July 2007 at 10:12pm
	Honestly I am glad you brought this topic up. I imagine this is a problem for many women. My husband has much more needs than I do. I don't know how he does it, but in fact it is much more than once a day. I tried to keep up at first, but after awhile I asked him if we could have some breaks because I become sore. Luckily I have a wonderful husband and he is always concerned for my health so he always asks now if I am feeling okay for it. I thank God for that, but I still feel bad that I can't please him to keep up with him. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you find all the help you need and things become better for you inshallah!

saqeen Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 05 July 2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 13	Post Options Post Reply Quote saqeen Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 August 2007 at 4:34am
	salaam ...suzy & salams_wife, thank u for ure support...i'm glad i'm not the only one L though I always thought men had more needs I find it so suprising in the real world I know more women wanting more frm their hubbies than the other way around....I find it funny that I was one of the few who had such an active hubby, really, aren't we such beautiful & curious creations of Allah?

lovesakeenah Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 13 June 2007 Status: Offline Points: 459	Post Options Post Reply Quote lovesakeenah Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 August 2007 at 4:53am
	As-salaam alaykum, Indeed we are sis saqeen.It's a case of different strokes for different folks.Reverse is the case for some of us.
	"I have conviction that Allah has power over everything.Verily!Allah's knowledge includes and encompasses everything".

andara Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 17 January 2008 Status: Offline Points: 7	Post Options Post Reply Quote andara Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 17 January 2008 at 1:23pm
	To the best of my knowledge, oral sex is OK. I am just wondering what kind of pills is he talking. I want some for my husband...