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Being a woman and a mother ...

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Alwardah View Drop Down
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    Posted: 04 April 2007 at 2:35pm

As Salamu alaikum

Sister Lameese and all the sisters who need to work because there is no other option, Insha Allah, Allah will make things easy for you.

I agree with Sister Herjihad, spending quality time with ones children is more important than quantity.

May Allah bless you all for the efforts you are making to support your families. Ameen!

Salams

�Verily your Lord is quick in punishment; yet He is indeed Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful (Surah Al-An�am 6:165)
"Indeed, we belong to Allah and to Him is our return" (Surah Baqarah 2: 155)
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saaraa View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote saaraa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 April 2007 at 12:01pm
If your husband is supportive, helpful or even just know a muslim woman's rights etc, staying at home is one of the best thing. But if he's shouting you as "doing nothing at home and spending his money!" when you chooses not to be with men at work, staying at home, praying, not going out so much, not spending any money on any unnecessary thing, cooking, washing, doing houseworks etc. it's not the best thing:)
I work p/t and my only hope i will be permitted to work from home after my maternity leave finished. Otherwise i have to go to work, leaving my child for more than  10 hours per day. Because i can't take my husbands insults any more.
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herjihad View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote herjihad Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 April 2007 at 6:43pm
Originally posted by Lameese Lameese wrote:

No, there is no way for me to cut back. I do not just help with the bills, I support my whole family, no one else, just me. My husband works 2 days a week and earns enough to pay for his car payments and goes to school full time. I am the ONLY one that carries this family and I have to work full time to make enough to pay all the bills and groceries, everything, I have to work full time too for the full time insurance. I just had to have surgery and if I did not have full time insurance I would have to pay for about 50% - 60% of it. So, right now I do not get a choice about anything. But when my husband graduates and starts his profession I will be able to go part time or a day a week, but this will not be for another 5 years.

Lameese

Dear Sister,

It is a hard thing, especially when the kids are so little and cute.  But some moms who stay at home are rotten at it as are some who have careers.  I know it's trite, but make your time quality time in a way that is significant for you, not others.  It is your memories that you are making, and you can do a great job at that in addition to your full time one working.

May Allah Bless all the mothers and let our efforts be fruitful.

Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lameese Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 April 2007 at 8:14am

No, there is no way for me to cut back. I do not just help with the bills, I support my whole family, no one else, just me. My husband works 2 days a week and earns enough to pay for his car payments and goes to school full time. I am the ONLY one that carries this family and I have to work full time to make enough to pay all the bills and groceries, everything, I have to work full time too for the full time insurance. I just had to have surgery and if I did not have full time insurance I would have to pay for about 50% - 60% of it. So, right now I do not get a choice about anything. But when my husband graduates and starts his profession I will be able to go part time or a day a week, but this will not be for another 5 years.

Lameese

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Sadija View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sadija Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2007 at 4:33am

Salaam

Wonderful posts.

I am also a full time mother with 1 baby.

I had him for 7 months with me at work (it was very very hard)

I neglected my work so much that I had to put him in a daycare otherwise I would have been fired by now.

Now its more relaxing for me but I wish myself i could be at home with my baby.

My work also supports my family. And without my income it will be very hard.

 

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing , you will be successfull
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hakeema Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 March 2007 at 10:11pm

As-Salaam Alaikum

Thanks for replying.  Is there anyway you can cut back on your work hours, then that way you can spend more time with your children.  It won't be 24/7.  But, at least you get to spend more time with them.  Ask Allah to help you manifest that.  I am not a mother, yet.  But I do remember being a child.  Yes, my mother worked outside the home but she made time for me.  That is what I remember most.  That is why I ask the question I asked.  I am also a daycare baby.  I loved daycare more than going home because at home I had to do homework, do house chores, and no television through the week.  Of course, I didn't like at all.  At daycare I played all day and ate cookies.

Hakeema

 

 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lameese Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 March 2007 at 2:45pm

It does not stop me from being a mother. It stops me from getting to do the majority of raising my children. I get to see them for 3 hours a night before they go to bed and am gone before they get out of bed. I work 12 hour shifts. So, again, I would give up my career just to be mom 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Lameese

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hakeema View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hakeema Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 March 2007 at 9:38am

As-Salaam Alaikum,

To All working mothers and Lameese,

How does working outside of the home stop you from being a mother?  I am just curious to know.   

Hakeema



Edited by hakeema
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