Eating Celebrities Alive!

Serv, I read this, and thought of you!!! (Sorry, I must have caught
something from Sawtul ...exclamation mark!)

We'll always hate Paris
www.salon.com

The public outrage over Paris Hilton's early release from her L.A. prison
cell may be justified -- but why are we expending so much energy
protesting the antics of a spoiled media whore?

By Cintra Wilson

June 8, 2007 | "There's nobody in the world like me. I think every decade
has an iconic blonde -- like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana -- and
right now, I'm that icon." -- Paris Hilton

"I hate reading! Someone tell me what's on this menu!" -- Paris Hilton

We'll always hate Paris.

If Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana were "candles in the wind," and
Anna Nicole Smith was a bonfire in a hailstorm, Paris Hilton, for all her
frailness and vulnerability, is a huge, flaming meteor that can penetrate
the Earth's atmosphere, bypass all weather completely and destroy
millions of lives wherever she happens to feel like plummeting.

Paris has been one of our most arresting national disasters. She's too
rich, skinny, blond, nude, slutty, drunk, spoiled and famous. She ignores
the law and openly flouts our social mores, as if they don't apply to her.

Proximity to Ms. Hilton is a proven health hazard: She blows all the
clothing, morals, inhibitions and self-control of her victims sideways,
leaving them emaciated, dehydrated, broke, disoriented and immune to
even the most powerful panty-biotics.

Paris has managed to hold herself together comparatively well during
severe marathons of hard partying -- at least compared with the rest of
her friends.

While Paris tiptoed around looking vacuous but relatively docile, La
Lohan, Britney Spears, Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis, Nicole Richie et al.
sunk into binge-puking, Mercedes-totaling, infantile oblivions, involving
willful and sustained refusal of all food but Vicodin, stints in inpatient
rehabilitation facilities that cost $45,000 a week, and unsightly public
meltdowns, leading to the consumption of more big bowls of cocaine and
opiate painkillers and more trips to rehab (rehab being the new day care
for shrieking Hollywood narcissists who can afford never to develop their
own maturity, self-control or respect for other human beings).

Just today I saw an internet news headline which made me jump:

"Paris to start Darfur talks"

I realised I had spent entirely too many bytes on the fate of this
forgettable Hilton heiress and was losing grip of reality.

I wonder how many people will one day claim it was Paris Hilton who
ended the strife in Darfur/Palestine (fill in the blank) ...?

Servetus wrote: I don't even know why Paris Hilton was put in jail Serv

she violated two issues of drink driving. Second one was when her licence was taken away from the first issuing. 

Thanks for the update, Angel.  Poor (in a manner of speaking) Paris Hilton!  One wonders.  Why did she have to suffer the traumas and indignities of a DUI [driving under the influence of alcohol]?  I mean, her dad is rich, after all.  Can�t she afford cab fare?

 

The other day, when I was reading the so-called �entertainment� headlines to see if, from the online media�s collective craw, there were any particularly delicious morsels of macerated and regurgitated celebrity on offer, I pecked on a headline which referred to Paris�s jailhouse diet.  One (again) wonders.  Is this young woman, an aspiring poster-girl for Consumerism and favored daughter of Homo Economicus, famous for anything other than what she does (drugs, alcohol) and does not (food) consume?

 

Serv

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A colony?  What's that?  If you don't mind, I prefer to be called a neo-trusteeship territory!