need help dealing with polygamy

Jenni wrote: Lady by the way what does Allah say about Polygamy? Does he say men, go do it, all of you? No, I have no problem with what is said in Quran. What is said and what people believe and do are two different things!

Right.

 sister jenni's implications that mainly the uneducated, poor, welfare mongers get involved in polygamous situations is at best offensive. i know several men who have more than one wife and they own their own businesses. i know two lawyers who have not two, but three wives. none of them are struggling to support their children or wives. there are men who only have one wife to support and are struggling. there are men who struggle to support themselves. this is life. some ppl have and some have more. to suggest that families are poor because of polygamy is wrong.

Sorry rooqiaya. Just had to say one last thing. I'm done now Inshallah.

Sisters, obviously you are in denial since none of you have responded to my many many points read through the thread again and if you can argue all of my points about why polygamy in the west is a bad idea then please do so and I will eat my ideas.

Taliyya you are in Gambia, so I don't give credit to your statement. If a rich man comes here to immigrate he could only Bring one wife!!!!! He would have to leave the rest behind!!!! So what happens in Gambia has nothing to do with polygamists here. Most of them are poor here, maybe not in Muslim countries.

Jenni wrote: Taliyya a woman needs to hear all sides. The good, the bad and the ugly. She deserves to know the bad side of polygamy and the problems it involves. men!!!

How very true this statement is!  I am always amazed how cavalier polygamy is discussed among Muslim men, jokes, smiles, chuckels but no serious discussion.  Jenni's characterization of polygamy amongst lower income and poor working class families, though it may sound painfull, generally speaking I believe is very true.  Sure, specific examples contrary are found, but generally speaking what she says I have found to be the case also.  Women should be the most proactive in this debate.  Men often times are not properly educated islamically and frankly unable to see past their desire.  Taking on the enormous responsiblity of another family in this society is a tremendous burden that few are able to cope with.  What mostly happenes is that one wife is replaced for another - broken families and children without a father present in the home.  Many of these men searching for seconds wives are not even mature enough for one wife, not to mention financially stability.  And what surprises me is that women passively comply.  As Jenni said, know the good and bad and most importantly be informed.  One cannot dismiss the legal implications, financial burden, welfare burden and a host of other problems and considerations.  Further, women need to know that you can put into your marriage contract that you will not allow polgamy.  This is a very critical and important debate as it affect the very core of our Islamic community, the family.