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need help dealing with polygamy

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Angela View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angela Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 October 2006 at 10:12am

Originally posted by taliyya taliyya wrote:

 Maybe I wasn't clear. A man marrying one woman legally and then the second, third, or fourth Islamically isn't illegal in the U.S. So that excuse is out the window also.

UTAH CONSTITUTION
Article 3
76-7-101. Bigamy -- Defense.

(1) A person is guilty of bigamy when, knowing he has a husband or wife or knowing the other person has a husband or wife, the person purports to marry another person or cohabits with another person.
(2) Bigamy is a felony of the third degree.
(3) It shall be a defense to bigamy that the accused reasonably believed he and the other person were legally eligible to remarry.

 

In many states, it does not matter whether they attempted a legally binding marriage.  They can be prosecuted even if they just have a "spiritual" marriage.  Especially in Utah and other formerly Mormon heavy states.  The Nikkah only marriage would not save a good Muslim brother from prosecution by the State.

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Suleyman View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Suleyman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 October 2006 at 11:03am

Originally posted by Jenni Jenni wrote:

Then I am sorry for you... And I hope you are not in the States, the U.K. Canada or Europe where you are breaking the law, I have no tolerance for Muslims who come to the west and practice polygamy here, as they make Islam look bad and only look like lawbreakers.

You have heard from Secular Jenni..when you will break the idols in your heart Jenni?,please do it before your death with the knowledge of Islam...



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lady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 October 2006 at 11:24am

AssalaamuAlaikum sister Jenni,  You seem so bitter or maybe I am reading your post reply wrongly.  I agree with taliyya last statement 100 percent.  Where did you get your information about there are more single men in the westerncountries  than  single women? Mona's question still has not been answered.  She wrote in on this discussion forum to say that her husband needs some advice from the brothers.  Women sometimes have the tendency to be so emotional and sometimes we loose focus on what we are really agruing about. 

Anyway, brothers, if you are in a polygamy marriage then please post your advice on your experience as a polygamist husband.  Advices are needed not judgemental statements.



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Jenni View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jenni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 October 2006 at 12:53pm

Please read Angelas post. When you come to the U.S. on an immigration visa, apply for a green card or citizen ship, one of the questions asked is "Do you inted to practice polygamy in the united states? " Of course everyone says no. So if you then practice polygamy or bygamy in the U.k or U.s you are a liar because you have signed your name saying you wouldn't!!! Secondly many polygamous families in the U.s. do depend on the state for some kind of support. How many men do you know can provide for private health insurance, rent, schooling and all the other needs of a family without any assistance for the government. 3. Muslim women in the west are in high demand, many  men have come from all over the world as workers, students and refugees and stayed. Their sisters and mothers stayed behind. Many brothers are having a hard time finding one wife and marrying non Muslims.

I will give you and example. When I was 20 the Mormon church (12 years ago) brought about 1,000 young iraqi male refugees over to help them settle from camps in Saudi. There were 10, yes 10 women from Iraq in the whole city. Allmost all of those men married non Muslims, some even converted to christianity. They were desperate and had allmost no chance for marraige and could not just bring a girl from Iraq. Some even got into trouble with prostitutes.

Now recently a friend of mine was divorced with a toddler and posted her profile on an Islamic website. She got hundred of emails a day. Many of them from local people saying they were having such a hard time finding anyone and just wanted to marry a nice lady. She ended up with a great guy with no kids that was never married.

There are few places in the world where women outnumber men. Those are warring places where alot of men have died. Maybe Iraq, Afghanistan, Sudan and some African countries. Other than that how is polygamy helping women in the rest of the world???? What purpose besides variety in sexual partners is it serving???? It is giving women less time and kids little time with thier fathers and forcing women to live in secret in thier communities and lie to their American neighbors, thier kids teachers and co-workers.WOW WHAT A GREAT LIFE THAT WOULD BE!!!! I do not have one friend at the Masjid or in my area that is in a polygamous marriage. Maybe it is the circle I am in of mostly South asains that are highly educated professionals. My husband finds the idea bizzare for our current modern life and has not had anyone in his family or circle of friends in Pakistan marry more than one woman. And I say again none of my friends would stand for it. The husband would be out of the house before he knew what happened.(And by the way many of my friends paid for part or all of thier houses)!!

You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Jenni View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jenni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 October 2006 at 12:56pm
Taliyya a woman needs to hear all sides. The good, the bad and the ugly. She deserves to know the bad side of polygamy and the problems it involves. How many of the men today are even 5% as good as the Prophet Mohammed pbuh???? To say he did it so all men should is like comparing Gold to mud. It is warned against in the Quran and discouraged. Every woman has the right to defend themselves and thier needs in this world and women were not born to be doormats for men!!!
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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lady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 October 2006 at 4:54pm

AsaalaamuAlaikum sisters.  I was hoping that a male would have written in by now.  I am not participating in this topic anymore.  I still think that Jenni is angry about what Allah says about polygamy.  We are going to really be punished for our own personal beliefs that we incorporate into as Islam.  I pray for myself and muslims all over the world to continue to ask Allah(SWA) for guidance towards the right path.  Also too, to make us conscious of when we are practicing and believing in something that is not Islamic.  I really feel sorry for us all, including myself. 

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Jenni View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jenni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 October 2006 at 5:59pm
Lady In the Quran Polygamy is discouraged unless a man can absouloutly be fair and love women equally and treat them equally. How many men can do this, and obviously your husband is having a problem with it is well. That is why it is discouraged not encouraged. It may be good for some people, at least in Saudi if a womans husband has other wives she has some legal recourse to make sure he divedes his wealth and time equally. If one wife has a car, all of them have to and she can go to court if needed. Here a woman has no Islamic system to back her up, only the trust of a man and if he leaves her with no legal marraige what about her children??? He does not have to claim they are his and has to pay no alimony or support unless she pays 5oo$ to prove he is the father. And then he still does not have to pay alimony and the woman is on her own! Women need to wise up that here, it is a bad deal for most. There may be exceptions, but I believe they are few, and still illegal.
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Jenni View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jenni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 October 2006 at 6:00pm
Lady by the way what does Allah say about Polygamy? Does he say men, go do it, all of you? No, I have no problem with what is said in Quran. What is said and what people believe and do are two different things!
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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