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cant live with husband anymore HELP
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allah akbar View Drop Down
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    Posted: 22 April 2005 at 11:30pm

ASSALAM ALAKUM TO GET TO THE POINT I CANT STAND MY HUSBAND ANY MORE HE DOES THE WEIRDEST THINGS POSSIBLE.HE CAME TO CANADA 4 YEARS AGO AND WENT CRAZY HE IS BEST FRIENDS WITH THE DIRTEST POPLE ALIVE THEY DO EVERYTHING ILLEGAL THAT IS OUT THERE.WE HAVE 2 CHILDREN HE DOES NOT RESPECT ME OR THE KIDS.HE GIVES ME NO MONEY. IF I GO OUT WITH MY PARENTS OR SISTER HE SAYS BAD THINGS ABOUT ME.MY PARENTS TOOK CARE OF HIM WHEN HE CAME A HOUSE, WORK ,CAR ,FURNITURE EVERYTHING.HE HATES THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I CANT STAND MY LIFE ANYMORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO GET AWAY FROM HIM.I SHOULD STAY WHERE I AM AND HE SHOULD BE GONE. I TRIED 100 TIMES BUT HE WONT LEAVE. I LEFT ONCE BUT I ONLY CAME BACK WHEN HE PROMISED TO CHANGE.AND I RETURNED CAUSE OF MY 2 YOUNG KIDS.BUT I SEE  NOW THAT ITS BETTER IF HES GONE FOR THEM THEY HEAR THE FIGHTS AND SEE THE DISRESPECT TOWRDS ME AND ALSO ARE STARTING TO HATE HIM.ANOTHER THING HE DOES SO MANY HARAM THINGS MY KIDS ARE LAYS SICK LIKE A CURSE OR SOMETHING.ITS SOOO HARD.

THE PROBLEM IS HOW DO I GET RID OF HIM AND FAST??????????????

  im soo confused andangry
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Angel View Drop Down
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Points: 6641 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2005 at 5:38am

Get a divorce and see if you can get a restraining order so that he doesn't come near you or the Kids.

Just leave the house one day and go to your parents and then seek divorce and don't fall for the "I promise to change" he's proven himself he can't, he obviously doesn't have any respect for you, you have seen it so you have some idea.

Or you can pack his bags and put them on the lawn one day when he's out and change the locks so then he can't come in, he'll get a nice surprise when he comes back home and if he doesn't go away call the police.

If he won't leave, then you leave, You deserve better and so do the kids, and if he wants to see the kids then he needs to clean up his act.

~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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Nausheen View Drop Down
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Points: 4251 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nausheen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2005 at 9:35pm

Auzubillahi minash shaitan ir rajeem,

Bismillah ir rahman ir rahim,

Assalamulaikum wa rahmatullah wa barkatuhu,

Is it not possible for you to relocate your family so that your husband can find a better company? Can you encourage him going to the mosque, and engage in islamic deeds?

Sometimes the problems in marriages arise due to the partners not knowing  and not being sincere in their responsibilities of marriage. Do u fulfil all your islamic duties, and your responsibilities as a wife? A husband has tremendous rights in islam. Do u know them, and have been fulfilling them?

If your husband is not an upright muslim, despite your being a good muslimah and is continuosly engaged in haram acts, - islamically you have a right to divorce.

Divorce is the most disliked of all the permissions Allah has granted. As a muslim we shld keep this in mind and our foremost effort shld be to make the marriage work. Of course, if  this is absolutely impossible and there is no respect left between the two, it is better for them to separate in a handsome manner.

Are u and your husband Canadian citizens? If yes, you shld not have much complications in filing a divorce.

However, I would suggest you exploit all avenues for the survival of your marriage, before you opt for this step.

Insha allah khair.

Maa salaama.
<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa

Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena

wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR]
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allah akbar View Drop Down
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Points: 7 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote allah akbar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2005 at 12:12am
assalam alikum thanks for your input. i do know the obligations of a wife and i fulfil all thats why it hurts such much when u dont get the respect u deserve.iwas born in canada i brought him here so he could be happy he begged me to.i pray,fast,believe in allah with all my heart and he stops me from wearing the hijab.he doesnt even fast. everything the quran says about duties of a man for his wife and kids he ignores.its not just me talking he is the talk of the town as they say.
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Suleyman View Drop Down
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Originally posted by Angel Angel wrote:

Get a divorce and see if you can get a restraining order so that he doesn't come near you or the Kids.

Just leave the house one day and go to your parents and then seek divorce and don't fall for the "I promise to change" he's proven himself he can't, he obviously doesn't have any respect for you, you have seen it so you have some idea.

Or you can pack his bags and put them on the lawn one day when he's out and change the locks so then he can't come in, he'll get a nice surprise when he comes back home and if he doesn't go away call the police.

If he won't leave, then you leave, You deserve better and so do the kids, and if he wants to see the kids then he needs to clean up his act.

Angel,your opinion on the issue was so acute,social issues should be more smoothly directed...as you do well in your other topics...

 *[edited by Suleyman]:thanks,i did not understand the problem...



Edited by Suleyman
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Nausheen View Drop Down
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Points: 4251 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nausheen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2005 at 10:21am

Auzubillahi minash shaitan ir rajeem,

Bismillah ir rahman ir rahim,

Assalamulaikum wa rahmatullah wa barkatuhu,

Originally posted by allah akbar allah akbar wrote:

assalam alikum thanks for your input. i do know the obligations of a wife and i fulfil all thats why it hurts such much when u dont get the respect u deserve.iwas born in canada i brought him here so he could be happy he begged me to.i pray,fast,believe in allah with all my heart and he stops me from wearing the hijab.he doesnt even fast. everything the quran says about duties of a man for his wife and kids he ignores.its not just me talking he is the talk of the town as they say.

Get help sister. either from the local community or the government. If he is not a Canadian, you can even have him return to his country, once the divorce is final. Consult people around you, who you can trust and find a lawyer. Take care.

May allah help you.

Maa salaama,

Nausheen
<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa

Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena

wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR]
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IslamicGirl View Drop Down
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Points: 120 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote IslamicGirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 April 2005 at 11:07pm

Salams,

My duas r with u sister.. I truely feel for you.

Pray a lot to Allah, it works.

 
*Islamic Girl*
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Shams Zaman View Drop Down
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Dear sister may Allah help you

The best way to help yourself is first of all pray sincerely to Allah that he should guide you to the solution best suited for you. In the mean time you work on your husband. Ask him that what does he think of life and what does has he assumed that there will be no accountability of his deed in the hereafter? Does he of the opinion that is this the only life and there is no day of judgement? And if he says that there is one then ask him that what he is doung is the right way and is this all told by Allah in Quran? And was this the attitude of the Prophet Muhammad with his wives?

First try to stream line his belief and don't force him on Islamic rituals. Tell him while reading from Quran what are wife's rights over husband and husband's rights over wife. If he dosen't still get better then tell him that he can tease you here but surely he can't escape justice in the hereafter. And after all this discussion (which may last over weeks or few months) if you still fell that he is not mending his behaviour then politely tell him that it is not feaseable for both of you to live togather and seek for divorce.

Meantime keep asking God for help from the depth of your heart and most sincerely. Surely Allah will either help you or guide you to the right decision.

Shams Zaman    Pakistan

  
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