help

nasa,

If your husband is a Muslim, he knows very well that he is sinning by looking at porn.  Here are two verses that can remind him:

24:30 - Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to be mindful of their chastity; this will be most conducive to their purity - verily, Allah is aware of all that they do.

4:135 - O ye who believe!  Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be against rich or poor: for Allah can best protect you both.  Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily, Allah is well acquainted with all that ye do.

Hope this is helpful!

Peace, ummziba.

Assalaamu Alaikum

Nasa

May I (as a revert) offer my honest opinion on this matter. When I transgress the Laws of Islam, my own conscience suffices as punishment, because Allah�s will rests in my heart (I know Islam is right). Even when I transgress in my thinking, where only Allah (S.W.T.) is Aware, (I believe) I embraced Islam because it is (from) the Light, hence am honest enough to correct �thought patterns�.

A revert is a Muslim adjusting to Laws different, to the Laws they were raised with. The positive aspect of the phenomena is that, many of the (potentially acquired) bad habits are plain to see (when compared with Divine Law), & hence with time & effort, amendable.

I say this is positive, as a lifelong Muslim may have been taught a version of Islam that encapsulated something non Islamic, hence in certain areas (of behaviour) it may be less clear for them to distinguish between what is Divine & what is inherited. Notwithstanding the fact that, I humbly accept there are many Muslim�s with a far greater knowledge of Islamic Law than I, nor do i wish to defend un-Islamic actions.

I have found that my actions are interconnected on many levels, hence to progress, is to flush all the (un-Islamic) acquired badness away (Insha Allah). I have peace of mind in that I have �identified�; now I wish to gradually flow in incorporating/perfecting my worship of the Almighty.    

I am sure that your husband will realise where his Love, Morality & Dignity rests -- in your heart -- for when we submit to Allah (S.W.T.) our hearts, will surely start to shine Allah�s Light. Show him Allah�s gift to you, that part of His Infinite Compassion, that no object can offer him!

Insha Allah

nadir        

Semar,

You give good advice.  Just to clarify, I did not say she should tell on him at this point, I said threaten him with this, then if he doesn't stop, tell.  See my quote:

ummziba wrote: I don't know exactly what your situation is, but here is what I would do.  I would threaten to tell my parents and family, his parents and family and the imam of the masjid he attends what he has been doing.  If that doesn't stop him, TELL.

I agree that they need to try to work it out themselves first.  I might add that addiction to looking at porn is a very hard habit to break (from many things I have read on net), so she may need to press him harder if he doesn't stop.

Peace, ummziba.