Humor from Great Minds

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   Bismillah irrahman irrahim
Assalamu alaikum
Humor from Great Minds

�As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...�
Sir Norman Wisdom

�One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.� 
Edgar Watson Howe

�A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!�
Doug Larson

�A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie!�
Eric Bolton

�When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.�
Erno Philips

� I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.�
Robert Paul

� We spend the first twelve months of our children's liv! es teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.�
Phyllis Diller

�Laughter is the closest distance between two people.�
Victor Borge

�Start every day with a smile and get it over with.�
W.C. Fields

�Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.�
Will Rogers

�Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.�
Mickey Rooney

�Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. 
Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.�
Tim Allen

�If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks.�
Rita Rudner

�I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.�
Woody Allen

�Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.�
Erica Jong

�Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive.�
Elbert Hubbard

�Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.�
Wendell Johnson

�In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.�
Joey Adams

�I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.�
Henry Youngman

�Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born ?�
Benny Hill 
wassalam

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fatima Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Joined: 04 August 2005 Status: Offline Points: 979	Post Options Post Reply Quote fatima Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Humor from Great Minds Posted: 13 May 2006 at 5:03am
	Bismillah irrahman irrahim Assalamu alaikum Humor from Great Minds �As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...� Sir Norman Wisdom �One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.� Edgar Watson Howe �A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!� Doug Larson �A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie!� Eric Bolton �When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.� Erno Philips � I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.� Robert Paul � We spend the first twelve months of our children's liv! es teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.� Phyllis Diller �Laughter is the closest distance between two people.� Victor Borge �Start every day with a smile and get it over with.� W.C. Fields �Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.� Will Rogers �Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.� Mickey Rooney �Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.� Tim Allen �If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks.� Rita Rudner �I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.� Woody Allen �Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.� Erica Jong �Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive.� Elbert Hubbard �Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.� Wendell Johnson �In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.� Joey Adams �I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.� Henry Youngman �Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born ?� Benny Hill wassalam
	Say: (O Muhammad) If you love Allah, then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive you your faults, and Allah is Forgiving, MercifuL

amah Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Female Joined: 18 March 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1334	Post Options Post Reply Quote amah Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13 May 2006 at 8:32am

	Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper). (Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45)

peacemaker Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Male Joined: 29 December 2005 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 3057	Post Options Post Reply Quote peacemaker Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 May 2006 at 9:09am

	Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny? Qur'an 55:13

soosoo88 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 01 December 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 69	Post Options Post Reply Quote soosoo88 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 May 2006 at 4:00pm
	This is my favorite �When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.� Erno Philips
	"The strong one is not the one who overcomes people with his strengh, but the one who controls himself while in anger."

Abeer23 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 28 September 2005 Status: Offline Points: 493	Post Options Post Reply Quote Abeer23 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 20 May 2006 at 12:51am
	�One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.� This is me .