Regarding sex outside of one marraige.

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   I still can not get my head around Islam, it's almost like there's a rule for one then another rule for others, if you are male.
Can someone kindly educate this poor misfortunte that is me.
I understand that in the muslim world more than one marraige is acceptable.. and encouraged.  So if the husband grows bored of wife number 1 or she can not produce a boy then they can legally find another wife?  Can we assume there in no set limit? 3 wifes. 4 wifes? etc 
You tell me.
As a westerner how is this compared to (for example) me sleeping with a boyfriend outside of marraige for say 10 years then we go our seperate ways.  Then I find another man for say 10 years.  Under uk law more than 1 wife is against the law..  
Major confusion....
Sleeping with someone unmarried is a sin yet sleeping with several women while married is not a sin... I really dont get it.
Please explain.

Edited by Ketchup

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Ketchup Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 10 February 2006 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 349	Post Options Post Reply Quote Ketchup Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Regarding sex outside of one marraige. Posted: 26 April 2006 at 2:01pm
	I still can not get my head around Islam, it's almost like there's a rule for one then another rule for others, if you are male. Can someone kindly educate this poor misfortunte that is me. I understand that in the muslim world more than one marraige is acceptable.. and encouraged. So if the husband grows bored of wife number 1 or she can not produce a boy then they can legally find another wife? Can we assume there in no set limit? 3 wifes. 4 wifes? etc You tell me. As a westerner how is this compared to (for example) me sleeping with a boyfriend outside of marraige for say 10 years then we go our seperate ways. Then I find another man for say 10 years. Under uk law more than 1 wife is against the law.. Major confusion.... Sleeping with someone unmarried is a sin yet sleeping with several women while married is not a sin... I really dont get it. Please explain. Edited by Ketchup
	"The days followed one another patiently. Right back at the beginning of the multiverse they had tried all passing at the same time, and it hadn't worked."

AhmadJoyia Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 20 March 2005 Status: Offline Points: 1647	Post Options Post Reply Quote AhmadJoyia Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 April 2006 at 3:17pm
	Alright sis Ketchup, lets talk about this topic "regarding sex outside of one marriage". We all know marriage provides not only civil legitimacy but as well as contractual protection to both the parties; man and a woman. This also helps in raising the children as far a parenting requirements are concerned. Thus in this way, all sex outside the marriage is out of civilized logic. Isn't it? Now as far as as marriages more than one is concerned, specifically with respect to Islam, Kindly note that Quranic injuctions are considered to be dynamic not only temporally but spatially as well, with millions of their combinations. Yes, God loves us to live a monogamous life, but has also allowed, in some special circumstance with specific limitations for a man to have more than one wife. These circumstances are usually the times when certain nations are in acute unbalanced in men to women ratio, due to wars etc. In such or other similar circumstances, the exceptional provisions of marrying more than one woman is allowed, but again with strict conditions. Edited by AhmadJoyia

DigitalStorm82 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 17 April 2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 62	Post Options Post Reply Quote DigitalStorm82 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 April 2006 at 7:46pm
	Asalamu Alaikum Sis, Allah Says in Quran: Surah 4: Women, Verse: 3 If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. Pre-Islamic era, there was no limit to the number of wives one had... and they burried alive their daughters. Islam, set a limit to number of wives to maximum of 4. But it also says, if you cant treat them equally, then only one. It's not whether the husband grows bored of 1 wife... The rule accomodates all widows and divorced women as well. But if one cannot treat them with equal respect and love as his first wife, Islam forbids that marriage. Sleeping with your wives is not a sin... sleeping with women outside of your marriage is a sin. I hope I answered your question. If you need further clarification... let us know.
	Ma'Salama, Hamid

Angela Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 11 July 2005 Status: Offline Points: 2555	Post Options Post Reply Quote Angela Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 April 2006 at 8:24pm
	Polygamy is not an Islamic only thing, both Jews and Early Chrisitans practiced polygamy. Abraham, Kings David and Solomon, Jacob. Marriage is an act of joining together before God or by law. The seventh commandment says you shall not commit adultery. Here are some others too look up. Acts 15:20 20But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood. I Corinthians 6:18 18Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. There are many scriptures over fornication being immoral. If you are married to 4 women, then you are MARRIED to them....its not adultry.

DigitalStorm82 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 17 April 2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 62	Post Options Post Reply Quote DigitalStorm82 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 April 2006 at 8:28pm
	Just want to comment on the previous post. Islam doesn't practice polygamy. Islam practices polygny Only man can marry more than one wife, where as, polgamy, both partners can marry more than one.
	Ma'Salama, Hamid

Angela Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 11 July 2005 Status: Offline Points: 2555	Post Options Post Reply Quote Angela Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 April 2006 at 8:57pm
	Digital, I think everyone was talking about polygny and not polyandry. Its pretty much assumed since there are almost no cultures that practice polyandry.

DigitalStorm82 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 17 April 2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 62	Post Options Post Reply Quote DigitalStorm82 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 April 2006 at 8:59pm
	Otay... Just making sure =) No offense to you.
	Ma'Salama, Hamid

superme Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 03 April 2006 Location: Cocos (Keeling) Islands Status: Offline Points: 463	Post Options Post Reply Quote superme Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 27 April 2006 at 1:28am
	The reasons for marrying more than one wife are fanancial as well as emotional. If we ask women who are living alone if they would except to be the second or the third wife? I have never ask any woman this question so I don't know. But you are as a woman maybe can imagine it yourself IF you are living alone with no hope of finding a husband would you accept a man genuine's offer to be his 2nd wife? Living alone in fragility is not pretty, we need hugs - lots of them