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Husband chatting

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Haya rahmath View Drop Down
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Joined: 24 February 2020
Location: India
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    Posted: 25 February 2020 at 8:26am

Assalamualaikum,

My husbad and i have been married for a year. We both reqlly love and admire each other.. But i have now started to face trust issues most of which is now is due to my over reactive personality.. 

During our courtship days and the initial times of our marriage, my husband used to be extremely obssessed with me.. So obsessed to the point that he deleted all his female friends from his social media accounts and stopped interacting with many of his friends.

 At that point of time, i used to tell him that this wasnt normal and would push him to spend time with his friends and the rest of the family rather than being all the time on the phone with me. And he refused to change.

Now since its been a year after marriage he is getting back to his old self and i realise that he is the kind of person who talks to everybody. That hasnt bothered me much. But what bothered me was when i opened his instagram account and i saw that he does light flirting with a girl that he had initially offered to a marriage proposal to before me. That girl hadnt responded to his moves but he was trying to flirt with her.

 I felt devastated after that. Even though i used to push him to spend time with others I am used to him being obsessed with me. And it broke me to see this chat.. I do try to check his phone and do know that he tries to never let me check my phone. He hides his chats from me and sits in another room when he is on his phone. And its also not always flirting . Many times its just talking to his female friends ( not in a flirting manner, the girls he has known since childhood) 


I know that he loves me alot but i dont know why he does this. Since in the beginning of the relationship he never behaved this way, these actions make me feel like he doesnt love me the way he used to.

I do know that i am an over reactive and possessive person but his actions make me doubt his feelings for me. 

I see that most men do such light flirting and their wives accept it. Some wives of relatives even maintain contact with their husbands’ ex girlsfriends( the husbands arent allowed to). I feel he compares me to these wives and feels that im over possesive. But why would he do this if he knows i dont like this? I dont know how to deal with this matter. I feel unhappy all the time. 

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Dr. Aslam View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dr. Aslam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2020 at 4:53pm
Wa alaikum Salam,
Love is love when people involved do not hurt each other not through words and not through action. You have to ask this question to yourself. Was it love that led him to marry you or something else? 
You need to talk to him openly and definitely on this and you have to tell him of your hurt.
Flirtation is not acceptable. 
Give him a chance and if he repeats it, walk away. Its better to stay single than go through this kind of torturous relations everyday.
Aslam Abdullah

Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah
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