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Divorce in Islam please help

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Nmal24 View Drop Down
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Joined: 18 June 2018
Location: Australia
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    Posted: 18 June 2018 at 11:15pm
Assalamu alaikum,
I am a revert Muslim and I have been married for about 9 years now. Both my husband and I were born and grew up in Australia and met when we were about 16. We are both now in our late 20s and have two sons (8 & 5 years). I noticed very early on in our marriage that things were not going to be easy, it began with him having affairs. Both emotional and physical and it has been happening for the entire time we have been married with different and random women. I've tried so hard to be a good and honest wife as well as patient but it seems that nothing I do will stop him. It's as though it's just who he is as a person and no matter how much I try to change myself he continues with the same behaviour, I have forgiven and tried to forget so many times where I've found out about yet another instance where he has cheated, it's almost like it's a viscous cycle, he cheats, I try to forgive him, we are happy for a while and then it happens again. He constantly goes out on weekends with friends to clubs, bars etc and my trust for him is completely gone, no matter how many times I try and communicate my problems with him it always turns into an argument where he ends up going out until 4 or 5 in the morning and then I'm expected to forget about it or just 'get over it' as he likes to tell me. 2 weeks ago he went out yet again and before he left I told him I wasn't happy or comfortable, he left anyways and when I did try and call him later on there was no answer for about 2 hours. When he did eventually return home I asked him to explain himself and prove there was nothing dishonest about his night to which he replied he couldn't and wouldn't he also said he was not happy anymore and we both agreed things were not going to get better. Since this night we have been separated (not speaking, sleeping in seperate beds) he has continued to be out on weekends and coming home very early the next morning. I' love him very much even though there has been so much betrayal, sometimes I think there is something wrong with me if I still love this man. I am considering divorce now as I don't see how things can ever be better between us as a married couple, I'm very scared of us being apart but the trust is completely gone now and I believe I deserve to be treated better than this. I worry that he won't see his children and will be distant from them as he has been these past two weeks, I've tried everything I could to keep our family together with many times putting my own pride and feelings aside. Now I'm at a point where I'm almost certain that a divorce is the best answer, I have tried almost everything from my end and can say that I have been an honest, living and respectful wife (most of the time) there have been no issues with intimacy or money and I know the love was there. I would really appreciate any guidance from you all as I feel I don't have many people to turn to who would understand my situation, any information on the divorce process would be truly helpful. Thank you for reading.
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Dr. Aslam View Drop Down
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Joined: 24 February 2018
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dr. Aslam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 June 2018 at 2:09pm
Salam
It seems that he is not sensitive to feelings and he does not care for your happiness and trust. It is better in this situation to seek divorce and move forward.
His behavior and actions would impact your children so it is better to keep them out of his influence.

Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah
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fais View Drop Down
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Joined: 24 August 2009
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 August 2018 at 7:17am
I think you shud separate your for few months and then see how u fell about each other. even then if he is same and if there is no financial issues than b seperate for few months and see.
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