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m678 View Drop Down

Joined: 28 April 2018
Location: U.K
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote m678 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: HUSBAND IS COMPRIMISING OUR MARRIAGE
    Posted: 28 April 2018 at 3:54pm
Salaam, I am 27 years of age and have been married for 4 years Allhumdulillah living in the U,K, I had been living with my in laws; (a family of 5 adults, excluding my husband,) for a number of years and had quite a few strains on my marriage because of my mother in law, having certain expectations of her new daughter in law, as a consequence I suffered emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, being scolded for not doing the 'right' thing and labelled as selfish, BUT still allhumdulillah I managed to keep quiet and only ever mentioned once to my husband so and so happened yesterday. As Allah had willed allhumdulillah I have recently moved out of that house and now have a young boy and own place, Allhumdulillah. I now feel like my husband is the one who is compromising our marriage. Since my young child became 2 years old, my husband's parents request every 3-4 weeks that my child stay with them for a week. whilst both parents still work part time. I understand they want to be close with their grandchild but Ifeel his feeding routine and sleep routine aren't being done properly and it is being neglected at times. I feel as though I am being pushed away from my child. Moreover my husband lisyening to these requests feels this is the way to please his parents, to listen to their requests each time, (over the phone,) since we do not live in the same city. I do understand the importance of obeying one's parents but please Sheikh can you just give me some words of support and advice to help keep my emaan strong, thank you Jazaakhalla
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Dr. Aslam View Drop Down
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Joined: 24 February 2018
Location: California USA
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dr. Aslam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2018 at 6:54am
wa alaikum,
The responsibility to raise your children is yours, you mean your husband and yourself. Grand parents should visit them, and should expect visit from them, but you are responsible for their ultimate well being. Please discuss the matter firmly with your husband and try to work out a solution that would not create more complications for your family. Respect of elders is important, but personal obligations to one's family are also important.
Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah
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