IslamiCity.org Homepage
Forum Home Forum Home > Culture & Community > Family Matter
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - My mother.
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login


My mother.

 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
Message
A Young Muslim View Drop Down
Starter.
Starter.
Avatar

Joined: 28 April 2018
Status: Offline
Points: 4
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote A Young Muslim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: My mother.
    Posted: 28 April 2018 at 3:12pm
Assalamu alaykum,
I am a 16 year old teenager who requires help. Actually, I would really like to be knowledgeable of my rights toward my mother as her son. But before answering, please read my case below.

You see, my mother really has this habit of insulting me, shouting at me, hitting me, etc. ever since my childhood and I don't think she's going to stop anytime soon. I always try to stay calm and tell her nice words while she's insulting me, but these days, I just feel like I'm about to blow up. Even when she hits me, I just let her go, because I know that if I even try to just push her back once, it would mean going to hell for me. That's also why I think that the son is put in a position of extreme inferiority towards his parents in Islam, and I don't consider this as justice at all.

The other day, for example, just because I left my pencil on the table, she started shouting du'as against me. Today, she asked me why I left my charger on the floor, but, as soon as I calmly tried to tell her, she literally interrupted me with "Go f**k yourself". Then, when she saw that (as usual) I wasn't replying back, she just let herself go and I won't quote the things she told me because this is an islamic forum and I want to keep it somewhat clean. Then I lost my temper (it rarely happens) and simply told her it was enough, but she started making the victim and kept insulting me.

I have to deal with this kind of problem on a daily basis.

I know basically all the hadiths about how you have to respect your parents and especially your mother, but I feel like that's too much for me right know. Even when she's making du'a against me right in front of me, when she's gone, I start making du'a for her and ask Allah to forgive her, even though I genuinely hate her but try not to make it obvious.

I also know that the du'a of a mother towards her child is always granted by Allah. That means that, in my case, I'm going to hell just because I had a bad mother and that's what's bothering me the most.

All my life, I've tried to satisfy her, help her, and everything, but she just won't stop. I have the best grades, go to the Masjid, read Quran, and treat my mother with respect, but she somehow always finds a reason to make du'a against me.

I don't talk about it to anyone, because I don't wanna spread a bad image of Islam and I don't want to destroy my mother's reputation, even though I could easily do it if I wanted to.

Please help, am I going to hell because of her du'a? Does my mother have the right to do this to me? What am I going to do? I can't let her go anymore.
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
Dr. Aslam View Drop Down
Moderator Group
Moderator Group


Joined: 24 February 2018
Location: California USA
Status: Offline
Points: 156
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dr. Aslam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2018 at 6:49am
Please involve your father or your sister or your elder brother or your uncle or anyone who is closer to your mother and through them communicate to her that this is not way to treat one's son. 
Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah
Back to Top
A Young Muslim View Drop Down
Starter.
Starter.
Avatar

Joined: 28 April 2018
Status: Offline
Points: 4
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote A Young Muslim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 May 2018 at 2:13pm
Assalamu alaykum,
First of all, barak allahu fik for answering my question. The problem is that my father doesn't like it either, but he doesn't want to create a family problem because she won't ever listen to anything. My father already tried to tell her to stop once calmly  but she started to play the role of the victim and kept shouting even worse than before. Also, her sisters are almost just like her and I can't ask any help from my brother and sisters since I'm the oldest child in the family.

So I guess I'll just have to keep living with it...
Back to Top
Dr. Aslam View Drop Down
Moderator Group
Moderator Group


Joined: 24 February 2018
Location: California USA
Status: Offline
Points: 156
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dr. Aslam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 May 2018 at 2:15pm
Wa alaikum,
No, donot accept abuse even if it comes from parents. You have a right o self respect. Say politely to her in front of your father that you do not like this as it violates divine guidance. 
Let us see what happens then.

Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 11.10
Copyright ©2001-2017 Web Wiz Ltd.