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Advice on marriage

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A.Nasser View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 April 2018 at 8:19am
Assalaamu aleikum everyone. Embarrassed

I met a man online who seemed to be perfect. We agreed on all subjects of life/Islam. 
We are both very faithful and serious about marriage. (we did not meet in person)

The problem with this person is that he gets hurt very quick. And when he is hurt, he is angry.
I saw him hitting his head and throwing with things when he's frustrated.
He completely loses his mind when there's a problem between us.
He starts using swear words, raises his voice and is unable to have a normal conversation.

What are your thoughts on this? Is it a bad idea to marry him?

I am asking, as I had a traumatic past and many confusions when it comes to intimate relationships.


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semar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote semar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2018 at 1:01am
It is very bad idea. An abusive man shouldn't marriage, could harm his wife.
Salam/Peace,
Semar
The Prophet said: "Do not eat before you are hungry, and stop eating before you are full"
"1/3 of your stomach for food 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2018 at 6:11am
Wa alaikum salaam, Perhaps explore anger management...

https://youtu.be/TTWn8CSM7Vw
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A.Nasser View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote A.Nasser Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2018 at 6:56am
I have spoken to him many times about his anger.
The problem is that he blames circumstances and emotions to be angry.
I have sent him such videos and even many books about the character in Islam,
and about the importance of controlling character.

He is kinda uncontrolable when he is hurt/frustrated. It blocks him emotionally.
No way to speak to him anymore, or to calm him down. It also lasts very long.

Thank you for the video!
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A.Nasser View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote A.Nasser Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 April 2018 at 6:59am
Originally posted by semar semar wrote:

It is very bad idea. An abusive man shouldn't marriage, could harm his wife.


Does he sound abusive from what I wrote? Cry
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semar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote semar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 April 2018 at 9:58pm
No you didn't say that. However angry in many cases will translate into abusive action.
Maybe right now, you are not his wife yet, he still able to control it. But after you become his wife most probably his expression of his angry to you can be physical action.
Salam/Peace,
Semar
The Prophet said: "Do not eat before you are hungry, and stop eating before you are full"
"1/3 of your stomach for food 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"
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