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Marriage & culture help

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H Isn’t Here View Drop Down

Joined: 14 April 2018
Location: NY
Status: Offline
Points: 5
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote H Isn’t Here Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Marriage & culture help
    Posted: 14 April 2018 at 8:10am
asalam walaikum sisters,
thank you for taking the time to read this. i am a born Muslim girl who used to be atheist but converted to Islam again because it is true in my eyes. i need some advice.
i am in love with this man and he loves me back, and we want to get married or the least engaged so everything becomes Halal. he is Muslim as well.
problem is, my mom and dad have someone else in mind for me and my mom claims to only see this man i’m interested in as a son, when in fact she would reccomend him to me 2 years before.
my sister influences my mom, and my sister and i don’t get along well enough. i just need help as to what i should do.
culture doesn’t help either- in my culture, the parents decide for their child. they consult their child and ask the child for an opinion. but the parents do whatever it is they want to in the end.
i know if the man i love comes to them, they will never inform me. and if i say no to the man they have thought about for me, they will try everything to convince me
my father has my cousin in mind for me, and my mom and sister have my brother-in-law’s friend in mind for me.

i used to not be a good child and have lost immense trust from my whole family. i ask what it is i should do. sitting and talking isn’t an option yet until everything is 100% confirmed to be true. i just know that i want to marry this man. his whole family is ok with my family and i, but my mom and sister know i’m interested in this man and have backbitten behind them immensely in attempt for me to lose interest.

if you have no advice, i ask for your dua and pray that in return Allah helps you.

jazakhallah khair for reading this. i have all hope in Allah. i’ve done istikhara and i always see dreams from Allah that make me extremely happy Alhamdulillah.
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Muslimah82 View Drop Down

Joined: 30 May 2018
Status: Offline
Points: 19
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Muslimah82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 June 2018 at 2:46pm
Assalam walaikum. Is your family also Muslim? You should follow your heart and listen to your good dreams. These days it's better not to marry cousins because there are too many birth defects and diseases due to toxins and bad lifestyles. If your father isn't Muslim, you can have an imam act as your wali and get married. May Allah bless and unite you and your love in goodness.   Amin. Remember, if you marry someone else other than the man you love because of your family, you might not be happy and you might not like any other guy as much. Keep us posted as to what happens.
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