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Istikhara and Marriage Concern

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Joined: 09 April 2018
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    Posted: 09 April 2018 at 5:54pm
I did istikhara for my cousin whom my family wants me to get married. I had some issues with him couple of years ago, still we never talked to each other..I was not surrendering before them because my heart, my instict always forbid me.. but now for the first time..I decided to do istikhara for him..the first three days, I saw red and black things with white LED bulbs in one dream..the forth day’s dream, I dont remember..and tbe last three days, I saw white and yellow papers (in an ofgice)one day, and second day_greenery and a beach view and the last day, fruit and milk( while making tea)..

Still my heart is not satisfied..I can’t force myself even to think about him, to get married to him. If I convince myself with all earthly facts, just after few hours my heart says no..not even think about it.. I have been trying to convivce myself from last 10 days..but I can’t.

After hearing from few sources, one shouldn’t go against the results of istikhara. I don’t want to go against it but my heart is not agreed at all..what should I do..? Should I pray to Allah for another porposal or should I just go for it..?

Its just I dont feel anything for him.if i try to think, I just end up thinking an end of this marriage within few years, or end of relationship before getting married..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dr. Aslam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2018 at 1:43pm
Istikhara means seeking God's mercy on your for the decision you are going to take.
First answer the basic question. Is this person compatible with you? Answer this in full honesty and if you feel that he is then ask Allah to help you make the decision properly. If no, then ask Allah to have strong resolve to  carry it on.
Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Smiling Face Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2018 at 12:27pm
Thank you Sir..!
I don't feel he is comaptible for me.. but when I see the current situtaion of 'marriages, propsals and everything'. I feel I should go for this.. maybe its the weak condition of my faith.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dr. Aslam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 May 2018 at 9:43pm
salam,
It is not the issue of your iman, it is an issue of your judgement. I do not know how old are you and how long you intend to wait for marriage. but ask yourself a simple question. Will you be happy with him and will he stand for your dignity.
Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Smiling Face Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 May 2018 at 10:12am
Waslam.
Thank you sir for your guidance..!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Muslimah82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 June 2018 at 7:02am
Assalam walaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu, sister. Do not marry a man for whom you feel nothing. If there is no attraction before marriage, do you think that things will change for the better after marriage? Allah created us so that we could feel attracted to some people and not others. Attraction is very important in a marriage. How can you marry a guy you don't even like? You can't rely too much on dreams. I have had dreams that mislead me in the past and made me think that people who were wrong for me might be right for me. Your dreams could be open to interpretation. It's not like you saw your cousin in any of your dreams. Also, keep in mind in these toxic and polluted times, the rates of autism and birth defects are increasing. The chances increase even more if you marry a cousin. You have to think about any future children and their health and well-being.
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