I Seem To Have A Problem...

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IslamicGirl View Drop Down

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Joined: 13 March 2005
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Points: 120

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Posted: 07 April 2005 at 8:27am

....oh, 'n all da best wit uni' 2 :)

alaa_k

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Joined: 11 April 2005
Location: United States
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Posted: 11 April 2005 at 3:28am

Salam, brother...

I agree with the many things that have been said above.

I believe that in most instances you should obey your parents. But this is one where, if you think, you parents decision is not right, you should not obey it. Thik about it... A marriage is for life. Once you marry this girl (whom at this point you don't even know), she will be in your house, in your life, all the time every where... If you decide that there's something you don't like about her later on, there's nothing you can do. So, my suggestion is, listen to your parents, but be very careful. I can understand your fathers concerns about you getting married, but remember, he will not need to live or deal necessarily with the person you marry, so he will not be as careful and thoughtful in this area. This is an area where you have to think for yourself and maybe stand up for yourself. You should get married, when you want to and to whom you want to and not before. Otherwise, you may be stuck with a woman - who may be good in many respects - but who you will not like and not be happy with FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. So listen to your father, but be cautious.

jalillah

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Joined: 10 April 2005
Location: Antarctica
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Posted: 11 April 2005 at 4:10am

my oppinion may or maybe not suited to your issue but here... it is any way...just do your study, marry who ever you please where and when to who for what and why but whatever it is make it.. that it will please everyone including yourself...and dont forget to seek allahs guidance before you begin any journey in making decision...inshaallah...brother.

Edited by jalillah

May Allah Bless those who seek the truth......Allah Stands Alone in truth..

falcon_shark View Drop Down

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Posted: 14 May 2005 at 2:30pm

Salaam all!

Speak to the girl like your father asked. Get to know her and then decide if you want to take it further. If not explain this with your reasons to your father. At least you'll have given her a chance.

Who knows she might be really nice. Get to know her and try to relax into the conversations. Don't, deliberately be difficult and talk about what interests both of you.

You might just fall in love anyway. Try not to think of it as 'Oh this is all being forced upon me.' Act like this is what you want to do.

Hope this helps.

Goodluck in life and always turn to Allah and the Qur'an. There is where the true answers lie.

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic
IslamicGirl Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 13 March 2005 Status: Offline Points: 120	Post Options Post Reply Quote IslamicGirl Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 07 April 2005 at 8:27am
	*....oh, 'n all da best wit uni' 2 :)*

alaa_k Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 11 April 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 5	Post Options Post Reply Quote alaa_k Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 11 April 2005 at 3:28am
	Salam, brother... I agree with the many things that have been said above. I believe that in most instances you should obey your parents. But this is one where, if you think, you parents decision is not right, you should not obey it. Thik about it... A marriage is for life. Once you marry this girl (whom at this point you don't even know), she will be in your house, in your life, all the time every where... If you decide that there's something you don't like about her later on, there's nothing you can do. So, my suggestion is, listen to your parents, but be very careful. I can understand your fathers concerns about you getting married, but remember, he will not need to live or deal necessarily with the person you marry, so he will not be as careful and thoughtful in this area. This is an area where you have to think for yourself and maybe stand up for yourself. You should get married, when you want to and to whom you want to and not before. Otherwise, you may be stuck with a woman - who may be good in many respects - but who you will not like and not be happy with FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. So listen to your father, but be cautious.

jalillah Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 10 April 2005 Location: Antarctica Status: Offline Points: 77	Post Options Post Reply Quote jalillah Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 11 April 2005 at 4:10am
	my oppinion may or maybe not suited to your issue but here... it is any way...just do your study, marry who ever you please where and when to who for what and why but whatever it is make it.. that it will please everyone including yourself...and dont forget to seek allahs guidance before you begin any journey in making decision...inshaallah...brother. Edited by jalillah
	May Allah Bless those who seek the truth......Allah Stands Alone in truth..

falcon_shark Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 04 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 17	Post Options Post Reply Quote falcon_shark Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 May 2005 at 2:30pm
	Salaam all! Speak to the girl like your father asked. Get to know her and then decide if you want to take it further. If not explain this with your reasons to your father. At least you'll have given her a chance. Who knows she might be really nice. Get to know her and try to relax into the conversations. Don't, deliberately be difficult and talk about what interests both of you. You might just fall in love anyway. Try not to think of it as 'Oh this is all being forced upon me.' Act like this is what you want to do. Hope this helps. Goodluck in life and always turn to Allah and the Qur'an. There is where the true answers lie.