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Nervous about Marriage

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Amir1211 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 22 March 2018 at 12:32am
Salam,
i grew up in a very traditional Pakistani family and 2 years ago I got engaged to the daughter of one of my relatives, I had no issue because I had no girlfriend and never had any kind of romantic relationship and also I was raised very traditional ways. My fiancé is also a very amazing person, she is smart, intelligent and beautiful. She is studying at a medical school. I sometimes feel as though she deserves better than me and it's causing a lot of anxiety. I am flinking in university and I don't know where my future lies. Due to all of this I fear that I will not be able to fulfill my duties as a husband and I think she deserves someone who is of her level, someone that also has the qualities she does.

Am I selling myself short?
Is this normal?
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Dr. Aslam View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dr. Aslam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 March 2018 at 3:16pm
Wa alaikum Salam,
What is important in marriage is love. What is important in relationship is the ability to grow together. If you are in a position to talk to the person, through e mail or in person or through phone, discuss your anxiety and figure our what are feelings towards your concerns are.
Its a life that involves both of you and both of you must own each others concerns.

Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah
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Tim the plumber View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tim the plumber Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2018 at 12:21am
How closely related are you?

This may be a big problem for your future children as the chance of birth defects is drastically increased with close inbreeding.

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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2018 at 6:59am
Wa alaikum Salaam,

What are you currently studying in school? What do you attribute your failing grades to?
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Amir1211 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Amir1211 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 March 2018 at 11:54am
Thank you for the response.

I am also currently studying pre-Med. I don't have failing grades anymore, maybe flunking wasn't the right word to use. I struggled in the first two years of college because I was going through an unstable environment at home involving my family. But thanks to almighty Allah I overcame that and have been doing well recently in school but the hole that I dug for myself in the first two years is making it difficult to be competitive for medical school entry.
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 March 2018 at 6:55am
Insha'Allah when you take the mcat you'll score high and get into a good school. Stay focused and make du'a. Allah has blessed you with a excellent fiancé so 'which of the favors of your Lord will you deny?'
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aka2x2 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka2x2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 May 2018 at 1:56pm
Marriage is a contract between two consenting adults of sound mind...
You do not have to make decisions for the two of you... You only should decide if she is the right one for you... Let her decide if you are the right one for her... Your grades or status in school is not you; just an aspect of your life... You said she is an intelligent woman; be truthful with her, but trust her intelligence...
Respectfully
aka2x2
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