What do you think about the Mahr?

Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic

   Asalaamu aleikum brothers and sisters in Islam,

From my own personal experience in looking for a spouse, I have come across various opinions on the amount of the mahr. Now I realize some of the opinions vary tremendously, to the point where some find even the question about the mahr to be insulting, but it is a part of our religion and I wanted to get a sense of feeling from the community about what they think is a reasonable amount. To do this, I am asking not in actual amounts but in percentages of the man's savings. I wrote a three question, multiple choice survey that takes less than 30 seconds to complete. I know that the methodology could be improved upon and that this can't capture everyone's thoughts, but it can give an idea of what we may prefer. I think seeing the results might be beneficial to us all. 

Would you all please take a brief moment to fill it out? I will update you all with the results as soon as I get at least 100 responses or next week, which ever comes sooner. Here is the link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6G5MRSC

JazakumAllahu khaeiran!

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic
ajami Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Male Joined: 07 November 2017 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote ajami Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: What do you think about the Mahr? Posted: 07 November 2017 at 1:01pm
	Asalaamu aleikum brothers and sisters in Islam, From my own personal experience in looking for a spouse, I have come across various opinions on the amount of the mahr. Now I realize some of the opinions vary tremendously, to the point where some find even the question about the mahr to be insulting, but it is a part of our religion and I wanted to get a sense of feeling from the community about what they think is a reasonable amount. To do this, I am asking not in actual amounts but in percentages of the man's savings. I wrote a three question, multiple choice survey that takes less than 30 seconds to complete. I know that the methodology could be improved upon and that this can't capture everyone's thoughts, but it can give an idea of what we may prefer. I think seeing the results might be beneficial to us all. Would you all please take a brief moment to fill it out? I will update you all with the results as soon as I get at least 100 responses or next week, which ever comes sooner. Here is the link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6G5MRSC JazakumAllahu khaeiran!

ajami Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Male Joined: 07 November 2017 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote ajami Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 17 November 2017 at 4:53pm
	Asalaamu Aleikum, Thanks to all who took the poll. It has been more than a week and I just wanted to update you on the results. Masha'Allah, I have to say that the conclusions are encouraging. Respondents support keeping the Mahr lower but ensuring any differences are resolved with their prospective spouses, even if this is difficult. As far as the actual data goes, the respondents were mostly a mix of Western Europeans, North Americans, and Middle Easterners. The clear majority of respondents (almost three quarters) believe the value of the amount that a man gives as a Mahr to his bride should be no more than 20 % of his savings. More than half of this group, and 42 % of the total number of respondents, believe that the Mahr amount should actually be worth less than 10 % of the man's savings (good news for guys seeking marriage). Roughly the same amount of respondents also agreed with the statement that if the bride and groom cannot quickly agree on the Mahr amount, that the two should continue to discuss and try to reach a mutually agreed upon amount, even if it is difficult to do so. More detailed data points as follows: >There were 51 respondents, of which 15 were from Western Europe, 14 from North America, 10 from the Middle East and North Africa, 6 were from East Asia, 3 from Central or South Asia, 2 from Australia, New Zealand, and the Pacific Islands, and one from Eastern Europe. >42 % of respondents answered that less than 10 % of his savings was a most reasonable amount of money to devote to the mahr. 30% of the respondents believed 10-20% was most reasonable, followed by 16 % of respondents who stated 20-30% was most reasonable. There were a few others than said higher, to include two respondents who said more than 50% of a man's saving was a reasonable amount to devote towards the mahr. >37 respondents, or 73% of the total number of respondents, agreed with the statement that if the couple cannot quickly agree on a mahr amount, they should continue to discuss the mahr and try to reach a mutually agreed upon amount, even if this is difficult.

msadiq Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter. Female Joined: 10 December 2017 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 2	Post Options Post Reply Quote msadiq Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 10 December 2017 at 3:58pm
	Assalamu alaykum, the mahr is supposed to safe gaurd the woman in times of divorce so she doesn't become homeless or starve. I think the mahr should be based on the cost of rent and food and necessities for the iddah period not the mans salary. he is no making a down payment on a house and he should invest in his wifes wellbeing not be worry about what he can afford. considering that most muslim men forego weddings this is not unreasonable.