I need some advice

Al-Atfaal

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This Imam answered a question I had about reversion to Islam while already married.  They are very thorough in their answers and very kind. 

Also,

http://www.askimam.org 

But you have to login at like midnight to get your question answered.

Well, I posted my dream on ask imam at islamicity.com. This is what he said, but I don't think it helped me much.

Question:
My cousin asked for me. So I prayed salat al-istikhara. I started to feel like I was looking forward to marrying my cousin. Then I had a dream. There were a lot of people in our house coming to see my grandparents who come from Palestine. I shook my grandma's hands and she asked me How is Muhammad? (my cousin)Then I got so mad that I went to my room and cried because everyone would hear and think we were engaged. I don't know what to do. Please help.

Answer:
As-Salamu `alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger. We commend your keenness on getting yourself well-acquainted with Islam and its teachings,we appreciate the great confidence you have in us and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake. We regret for the delay in response. First of all, dreams or visions are not sources of legislation, so it shouldn't be threatening or frightening to anybody and it doesn't have a binding force of legal rules. Second, the interpretation of dreams is not an experimental knowledge but a divine gift bestowed on whom Allah wills. It is not a science that has certain laws; it is merely based on opinions, and hence what is written or said about the interpretation of dreams is not reliable and cannot be taken for granted. Allah swt says: "49:12 O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: And spy not on each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it...But fear Allah. For Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful. " (49:12) Bukhari,Vol 9, Book 87. Interpretation Of Dreams.Hadith 156: Narrated By Ibn 'Umar: I was a young unmarried man during the lifetime of the Prophet. I used to sleep in the mosque. Anyone who had a dream, would narrate it to the Prophet. I said, "O Allah! If there is any good for me with You, then show me a dream so that Allah's Apostle may interpret it for me." So I slept and saw (in a dream) two angels came to me and took me along with them, and they met another angel who said to me, "Don't be afraid, you are a good man." They took me towards the Fire, and behold, it was built inside like a well, and therein I saw people some of whom I recognized, and then the angels took me to the right side. In the morning, I mentioned that dream to Hafsa. Hafsa told me that she had mentioned it to the Prophet and he said, "'ABDULLAH is a righteous man if he only prays more at night." (Az-Zuhri said, "After that, 'Abdullah used to pray more at night.") Elaborating on the interpretation of dreams, we'd like to cite for you the following fatwa issued by Sheikh `Atiyyah Saqr, former head of Al-Azhar Fatwa Committee, on this issue: "As for interpretation of dreams, this issue is certainly one of hidden secrets known only to Almighty Allah, the Knower of the Unseen. So all that is written or said of the interpretation of dreams is just a matter of personal reasoning and is not reliable. This is because this issue is one of the Unseen matters that have something to do with spirits and their interaction with outer worlds. It is not true that it has certain laws; it is merely based on opinions through which some people issued many books claiming to be authoritative reference on interpreting dreams. On this, Sheikh Abdul Ghani Al-Nablusi has written a book entitled Ta`tir al-Anam fi Ta`bir al-Manam. As the author of the book himself, he admits that the interpretation of dreams varies from one person to another and from one atmosphere to another. However, there are certain facts you should know about, and all of them are based on authentic Hadiths quoted from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him); they are: First Hadith: "A vision is from Almighty Allah (it's a form of divine inspiration) whereas a dream is from Satan. When any one of you have a bad dream, let him/her spit out (without saliva) to the left side and recite the two 'Protective Surahs' (An-Nas and Al-Falaq) and the dream will not harm him/her, Allah willing." Second Hadith: "At the approach of the Hour, the Muslim will have a true vision, and honesty will help him to have the clearest and truest vision. Moreover, seeing a true vision is the 46th degree of prophethood. Vision is of three kinds: the good one with glad tidings from Allah; the bad dream, which is from Satan to invade hearts with sadness; the third one is the effect of an aforethought matter. So if any one of you sees something sad in a vision, he should offer two rak`ats in prayer and never reveal it to anyone." Third Hadith: The Prophet said that if anyone sees him in his vision, he has truly seen him, for Satan can never disguise himself in the honorable form of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). (Bukhari) To conclude, the interpretation of dreams is not an experimental knowledge to pass on to people, generation to generation. It is a divine gift bestowed on whom Allah wills. Prophet Joseph's talent of interpreting dreams is a case in point. But, we should say that dreams or visions are not sources of legislation, so it shouldn't be threatening or frightening to anybody and it doesn't have a binding force of legal rules." It's recommended for anyone who sees a bad and terrifying dream to wake up and do the following: 1-Seeking refuge in Allah from the Shaitan (Satan) saying "A`oodho billahi mina ash-Shaitan ar-Rajeem (I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan." 2-Spitting three times on the left. 3-Refraining from relating the dream to anybody lest it makes them worry. This is what the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, told us to do in this situation. Narrated Abu Salama: I used to see a dream which would make me sick till I heard Abu Qatada saying, "I too used to see a dream which would make me sick till I heard the Prophet saying, "A good dream is from Allah, so if anyone of you sees a dream which pleases him, he should not tell anybody about it except to the one whom he loves, and if he sees a dream which he dislikes, then he should seek refuge with Allah from its evil and from the evil of Satan, and spit three times (on his left) and should not tell anybody about it, lest it might harm him. " (Narrated by Al-Bukhari) Also, you are supposed to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, when going to sleep. Try to recite the last two verses from Surat Al-Baqarah (the Cow), as the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "Whoever recites the last two verses from Surat Al-Baqarah at night, they will be sufficient for him." (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, 3786; Muslim, 807). Also it is Sunnah to recite Surat Al-Ikhlas and Al-Mu`awwidhatayn before you sleep. `Aa'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, narrates: "On going to bed, the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, would blow into his hands and recite Surat Al-Ikhlas and Al-Mu`awidhatyn." Then he would wipe his hands over his face and his body, as far as they could reach." `Aa'ishah continues: "When he fell ill, He would ask me to do that for him." (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, 5416; Muslim, 2192) If you are still in need of more information, don't hesitate to contact us. Do keep in touch. May Allah guide us all to the straight path! Wassalam and Allah Almighty knows best.

Bismillah,

The salient, relevant, point that I see in this quote you posted is that dreams are not legislation.  In other words, we are free to disregard them if we wish.

But dreams can reveal our own deeply felt feelings to us when we aren't willing to acknowledge them even to ourselves.  And if they are really awful and scary, they could just be the working of shaytan and we should follow the advice as you posted of spitting saliva free and not speaking of it to those around us.  (Seeking advice about it is different, especially for you, hon!)

Weigh the pros and cons of getting married.  List them and ask the sheikh's advice again.  Because I see that you were asking marriage advice, but he saw that you were asking about the validity of your dream.  Put the question differently to get the help you need, Sister.

Peace.