2nd wife

Bismillah,

I am married now and have been for many years.  My first response to this is no, but to be brutally honest, I would have to be in a situation to really know what I would do sometimes.  Sometimes not.

However, I advise a young sister such as yourself not to accept second best and to marry one of the many great young men available who would treasure you as their one and only wife.  Do you need a wali?  Would you like help?  I'm sure that the sisters could recommend nice young men from their communities, and with time and patience you could find someone who would like to relocate with you to an Arabic country if that is what you wish.

You can look up how to become a teacher and travel to another country on your own also.  Do you have any degree?  Without that, it will be harder to find a good paying job.  But I myself know that you could find a low-paying job as a teacher and live with just the bare necessities in Jordan easily.  They like to hire people at least three months before the school year begins, so start looking now if you're interested for this coming August.

If you would like further help, feel free to pm me.

aishag88 wrote:  Asalaam Alaikum sisters,  i am just wondering, Would any of you consiterd being a 2nd wife? If  you know the man follows Allah's commands and would treat you right, would you?

Wa alaikum as salaam wa ramatu Allah

No, because I'm selfish--when desires arise I want them satisfied immediately or may need to talk or want to cuddle, etc... (suppose it's not my night, what am I supposed to do?) Unfortunately, this is one thing I truly struggle with, frankly the thought of it makes stomach turns.

I had an interesting discussion with a brother once. He was married and his wife was in another country. He wanted a 2^nd wife. He was happily married and such. I asked him would he tell his first wife. He said no, he did not have to by Islamic law..

Then he added that he felt it is only selfish women who would not let their husbands marry again as there are many needy women who needed a husband (and he was not looking to helping the poor, widowed 50-year old, mother of two find a husband).

Then I asked what if he only wants one wife and doesn�t want another, isn�t he being selfish not helping that �sister� out who needed a husband. No of course not.

So women are selfish to want only their husband but men who only want one wife are not selfish.  Lol