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Marriage

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mimi_3 View Drop Down
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Joined: 03 April 2005
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    Posted: 03 April 2005 at 8:02am

Salaam how's it going? Hope you're all fine.

I'm hoping you guys can help me out a bit! I'm 18 and with all my heart I want to get married......but I don't know how to tell my parents and I'm scared that they won't accept! They might say that I'm too young and that I should finish my education. But inshaAllah I'll still complete my education even when I am married. Any suggestions???

Keep doing your duas....never give up.
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alaa_k View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote alaa_k Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 April 2005 at 3:02am

Salam, sister!

I suggest that you talk to your parents.  You are afraid that they might not give you the answer that you want to hear.  But think, they have been on this Earth longer than you, they have more experience, and they really know better.  Talk to them! 

I know how you feel:  you're young, you want excitement in your life, so you think that getting married will give you that excitement and adventure in your life.  But remember, marriage is for life!  Really, you don't want to make a foolish decision here - you don't want to get stuck with a person that later on you don't want to be with.     And it does happen.  It is very easy to make a decision to get married, but it is very hard to get out of the problems about marriage.  If they say wait a little and study more, there's a reason for that.  Your parents will have a good judgement, I'm sure.  You don't want to end up unhappy.  So, please, don't be afraid.  Talk to your parents. Even if they don't say, what you want to hear, they will probably be right.  And you will only find this out with time.

(Praise to Allah!)



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kim! View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kim! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 April 2005 at 8:45pm

Mimi, I think Alaa_k's advice is very good. Please try not to rush into things too quickly - when you are 25 you will be a different person compared with you at the age of 18, and by the time you are 35 you will be completely different. Imagine how you will feel at 35 if you make the wrong decision at 18!

I'm not saying you will make the wrong decision ( i hope you don't!) but I'm just agreeing that you need to be very careful.

Why do you need to marry so suddenly - have you met someone?

Kim...

 

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fatimamuslima View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fatimamuslima Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 April 2005 at 2:03am
salam ou ralaikoum oua rahmatollah ioua barakaou, firts of all I want to say that you are not so young for getting married, if you are "ready" you can get married, I will give you an example, my sister get married last year ( she was18 years old and a student,) my parents were agree (you know, "marriage" represent the half of religion, so it's very important!!) ...you can see a 25years old girl who will be "in her mind" a little girl, she isn't mature et vice versa,the only thing I hope for you and all muslim is that you will find or choose a very good muslim and inchallah i hope for you el rheir ou salam ou ralaikoum oua rahmatollah ioua barakatou, fatima (I'm sorry for my english but I speak french better..)
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Brother123 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Brother123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2005 at 6:01am

Get married sis. Prophet's (peace be upon him) advice is to get married early.

Please read marraige section  www.shariahway.com 

You do istihara and Inshallah Allah will help you with the right decision.

In kafir societies even at 40  they arent mature for marriage.

And they have haram relationships well before 18.  

Fatima sis excellent advice. !8 is old. Boys and girls have needs and need purify minds and body. marraige is halal way to do that. The sooner the better.

You see in Muslim countries 15 yr old girls with children. MasshaAllah very mature mind. But in Kafir countries you see tehir women 40 years behaving like 2 years olds. Drunk and takeing their cloths of in public all sorts. & 70 year old women start singing, dancing and pulling up their skirts in busses.

 

So no wonder they will advice marry late (what when person is in teh grave will they be mature for marrraige? )



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sister76 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sister76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 November 2005 at 7:18pm

Assalaamoaalaikum

I agree that in Muslim countries and in the past brothers would marry in their late teens and sisters in mid or early teens and their marriages were more successful.

Inshallah if you plan on taking the halal step Allah will surely help you with your decision on marrying early. May other young brothers and sisters follow your footsteps.

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herjihad View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote herjihad Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 November 2005 at 12:12am

Bismillah,

I agree with ak_m's advice to you.  Thinking important things through is vital to making good decisions for your life.  And hopefully your parents are receptive to your needs and ideas.

But don't jump into marriage because although marriage is the best way to complete our religion, many people, even in Muslim countries, marry early and get divorced quickly. 

My dear Arabic Muslim niece who lives in Jordan didn't listen to advice not to marry a man because her emotions of love for him overtook her, and her desire to start her life.  He is in prison, and she is at home again with a baby.  And they are very poor, May Allah, SWT, provide for them.

So you want to let your parents help you think clearly if they will.  And you can talk to us about the details, dear sister.

Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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sister76 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sister76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 November 2005 at 2:47pm
Of course I forgot to mention that you do indeed need to look into the background of your spouse and I do hope it's a good practicing muslimah.  If you are afraid to talk to your parents about this maybe you might want to talk it over in confidence with an Islamic scholar, I'm sure he'll listen to you and you have nothing to fear.Alot of times they are willing to listen to problems and help out.
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