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My husband can't have children

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Fatou View Drop Down
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    Posted: 10 August 2016 at 7:32am
May Peace be upon us Alhamdulillah,

These past few days have been tough on me. I just found out that my husband can't have children. I do not know how l feel if l am mad, disappointed or else. All l know is that l can't look at my husband in the eyes or even talk to him. I know this is Allah's Will.

I met my husband back in January 2015, but my family knew him before so we got married on February that same year. Before we got married l asked him if he was ready to start a family and he said yes. I asked this question because l knew he was married before and didn't have kids and he was in his 40s.I was ready to start a family because I'm on my 30s. Six months after our marriage he one day told me that he has infertility issues, from there l asked him why he didn't tell me before now and his response was "l couldn't". I asked him since when he had known about this situation and he told me since 2008 and based on the test result the only chance he has is IVF (invitro fertilization). I was shocked, but l am the type that never give up so l start doing my research on finding specialist and have a treatment started. During all this time l felt i was the only one who was worried about the situation. I will ask him to go do a test and he will just slacks on it.Once l found a good doctor they recommended IVF treatment and since most health insurance does not cover this kind of treatment, it cost us about $12,000 not including the medicines. I took care the medicine which is about $5,000. I went through the IVF cycle and last Friday was the day the doctor did a sperm aspiration hoping to get sperm to fertilize my eggs, but unfortunately no sperm were found. It was a big shock on me. My mind start racing, I really want to have children. I do not have any siblings so l have always been alone and hoping that the day l have children everything will change. Right now l don't know what to do, l need your advice. I haven't tell anybody about this situation, and my husband is just selfish he is not offering any kind of consolation and this make it harder on me. Sorry for the length, l am just overwhelmed right now.     
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semar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote semar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 August 2016 at 7:20pm
Salam,
My understanding before you do so many thing and spend so much money. The doctor will check his sperm and you egg. to find out the IVF possibility.
Is this final? I meant the doctor said that you husband have no change to have good sperms whatsoever, or the doctor will try again in the future after do some treatment to your husband.
Salam/Peace,
Semar
The Prophet said: "Do not eat before you are hungry, and stop eating before you are full"
"1/3 of your stomach for food 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"
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Tim the plumber View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tim the plumber Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2016 at 12:13pm
Fatou,

I feel for you. I also feel for your husband. He is feeling very low and defeated. This is why he has trouble talking about it.

Biology is a chancy thing. These things happen. It is not your husband's responsibility. He has not caused it.

If IVF is not do-able then there is sperm donation. You and your husband need to talk to your doctors about this.

This is not uncommon. You are not the first to be here.

Good luck.

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ORachel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ORachel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 May 2018 at 6:00am
 I understand your pain. My husband and I were in the same boat. We got married at age of 26. And decided to have a baby only after one year of marriage. By the time we thought we were ready to welcome a baby into our lives, God already had other plans in store for us. We spend some time in order to know what was wrong. My husband and I underwent some labs, test and it turned out that my husband was diagnosed with also with low sperm account. After the labs' results, our fertility specialist advised IVF treatment. And we shared that idea. As we spent a huge amount of money we agreed on IVF in Ukraine. We found a clinic which provides 5 rounds for around 30.000 euros. I was really nervous during first round which was failed. I blamed myself because I thought that it was unsuccessful due to my nerves. I tried to get a grip on the second one. And it worked. In 2 weeks I saw the desirable positive test. It was amazing feelings. You happy and worried at the same time. Now we have our little Elizabeth. She is a strong and absolutely healthy baby. ART makes unbelievable things. I hope, that you both will have a baby in the near future.

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