debt

As Salamu Alaikum

Sis Zainaaa, you have being given very good advice here by the members.

I only want to add that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala tells us in His Book that money is Fitnah so please be careful how you handle this situation. I don't think you will want to start a new life on a sour note. Marriage is starting a new life and I advice you to avoid any unnecessary ill-feelings with your future mother in law. After your marriage she becomes a very important part of your new life. Don't let hatred develop between the three of you (your fianc�, his mother and yourself) due to the debt. A very bad start to a new life.

If your family can forgive and pardon her the debt for the sake of Allah, Insha Allah their reward will be with Him, or else try to get a third party involved who can talk to her sensibly. Emotions normally run very high where money matters and family relations clash. Sometimes things end with a big bang and remember "words once spoken or eggs once broken cannot be mended again."

May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala help you make the right decision. Ameen!

Wa Alaikum Salam

Bismillah,

Dear Sister Zainaa,

Did your fiance encourage you to loan the money to her?  If so, he is culpable in her lack of repayment, and should begin to make the payments to you, which you need to write down.

If not, it was your decision, yes.  But your fiance needs to also take responsibility unless he discouraged you from loaning her the money.  If he was against it, and it was just between the two of you, did you make a written agreement?  Probably not.  Try to get her to sign a written aggreement now that she owes the money to you, and a time frame you both agree on to pay it back. 

If she won't sign it and says something like:  Don't you trust me, tell her it IS the Islaamic way to deal with money and property such as this, that you wanted to fix things Islaamically in order to please Allah, SWT.

Loans are a great way to help people, but we should realize the reality of a situation when we make a loan.  Will this person really be able to pay it back?  What if they were counting on a payment to them or a new job that they never get?  If the people didn't mean to steal your money and are just poor and really not able to repay you, it is better to let it go and say that it is a charity from you to them. 

In your situation, she is spending plenty of money to travel, so I would say she is one of those people who has considered it charity without your permission, and you should try to get your money back.

Don't loan money that you can't afford to lose especially if you don't sign a contract.  Life has hard lessons to learn.  ISA the other lessons will be easier for you than they have been for me!  I got burned badly by someone who promised to take care of financial matters.  It hurts when someone close to you doesn't prioritize promises to you, but remembers other people or things instead.