plastic surgery/womens only subject

Assalamu Alaikum

Sisters, I personally have a problem with a woman having breast implants simply to please her husband.  Does this mean that anything a man wants from his wife he should get even if it is haraam otherwise?  I don't think so.  Maybe in some cases the defect is not in the woman's body but in her husband's deen and we should ask him to readjust his deen and leave his wife the way Allah made her.  I say this because the mentality that is being put forth here is no different than the mentality of some non-Muslim men who get their wives to have such surgeries as a means to satisfy their sexual fantasies. 

If a woman is allowed to alter her body, which would be haraam otherwise, to satisfy her husband, where does it stop?  I thought women were supposed to listen to their husbands unless their husbands made demands that were haraam.  At that point, they are not sinning if they do not do as they husbands say since it is always more important to obey Allah above all other...EVEN OUR HUSBANDS!  Also, he cannot take steps to correct her for refusing to do something that Allah says is haraam.

Unlike women how have extremely large breast which can cause them to suffer from serious health problems, women who have small breasts do not risk suffering from any health problems.  Having small breasts is not a deformity.  Maybe we should take a moment to look at the possible consequences of having breast implants?  Will getting them just to satisfy her husband lead her to feel as if she is not good enough the way Allah made her and that the only way she is valued as a wife is through altering herself as a means to satisfy her husbands sexual desires?  What kind of psychological problems may this cause her to suffer from?  Having breast implants is not like getting your ears pierced.  This is a very serious surgery which is painful and has caused some women to suffer from irreversible body damage; some women have even died from having implants.  Will her husband still love her if she is left with irreversible damage to her body due to demanding her to have this surgery?  What if he leaves her because of it?  Who will want to marry her after that? 

We should ask ourselves why Allah gave women breasts in the first place?  Sure they are a part of sexual pleasure but they are primarily for feeding their offspring and having breast implants could affect the woman�s ability to nourish her offspring through her own body.  Maybe some people take this lightly; however, I for one do not.  If the couple is planning on having children, then they should have a concern for their future offspring.  Believe it or not, children also have rights in Islam.  If a woman has breast implants and she is able to breast feed, then there is a risk that her breast could become engorged (which by the way is very common, especially with first time moms).  If this happens, the mom�s life becomes at risk of serious health problems because of the affect engorgement will have on her implants.  Should a woman put her life in danger just so that her husband will be happier sexually?  Should she deny her future offspring what is rightfully theirs in order to make her husband more sexually satisfied?

There is no doubt that a man has a right to divorce his wife if she has some deformity of the sexual reproduction system which either cannot be surgically repaired or she is unwilling to have it surgically repaired if it is possible and it is not life threatening for her to do so.  Likewise, a woman has the right to divorce her husband if he is impotent or if he is unable to make her become pregnant and there is no means to correct the problem or he refuses to do what is possible if it is available for him to do so.  However, it is also possible in either case for the couple to remain together and to agree to either have no children or to adopt children who are in need of a home.  There is nothing in the Qur�an or Hadith which states that a couple must have children in order to be or stay married. 

Something which I find to be grossly overlook by those who give fatwa is that a couple's sexual life is not just about what the husband wants. I get so sick of hearing "If he wants this or if he want that."  Sex is to be satisfying for both partners not just for the pleasure of the husband.  If we are going to make allowances for men who may want their wives' bodies altered for their sexual pleasure, don't we have to make the same allowance for women?  I don't have to say what I am implying but I think we should think of this as well.  How many men do you think would feel great about the idea of their wives telling them their sexual parts were not good enough and they expected them to have an "enhancement"?  How do you think that would affect him psychologically?  If you think this is different for men than for women, why? 

I read a fatwa once that made me so upset and angry.  A sister who was seriously disturbed by the sexual demands of her husband had written in to ask for help.  She said that her husband desired from her every night something that she detested and that he expected her to do this sexual act with him every night until he fell asleep.  She was simply told that it was his right and she had to continue to do it.  I was shocked.  If I had known that sister, I would have contacted her and told her that she has like rights and she should demand of her husband something when he found detestable and see if he liked it.  When Allah said that women are a tilt unto their husband so he can go to her the way he wants, it was simply a means to say they didn't have to have sex in one position only (i.e., the way the Jews had sex with their wives); it didn't mean he can do anything to her without regards to her own desires.   

I good Muslim husband who obeys Allah and loves his wife will not find fault with the body Allah has given him for his pleasure through her.  He will not made sexual demands of her which are detestable to her or which will cause her harm mentally, physically of spiritually.  Furthermore, a good Muslim husband who obeys Allah and loves his wife will not leave her, abandon her, punish her, or divorce her simply on the grounds that her body doesn�t look like that of a woman in a centerfold.  A good Muslim husband will have married his wife for her deen above all other reasons.  A good Muslim woman will feel the same way about her husband.  She will have married him for the sake of his deen and his ability to guide her and their offspring as the spiritual head of their family.  Otherwise, as the Prophet (pbuh) said, they will be losers.

Ashukru-lillahi Rabbil-Alameen wala- hawla  wala quwata illa billah

ALLAH HAFIZ