Where are our Islamic Manners?

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   Assalamu Alaikum Wa RahmutAllah:
I would like to share something that happened today. My husband went to the Juma'a prayer at a musjid that he goes to once in a while. He splits the Juma'a prayers between three different musjids depending on where he is working at the time. As he went straight from work he was wearing pants, a shirt, and sweater. The sweater was a dark purple color.
I must explain that my husband is from Morocco, but he has very light skin and small features so that he doesn't look Moroccan or Arabic, but is often mistaken for someone from the hills of Pakistan or Kashmir. 
Anyway, right after the khutbah and the prayer he stood to walk behind a group of men who were sitting inside the musjid and as he passed them they said in Arabic: "Look at this guy in that sweater. Who does he think he is? He must be a Pakistani or a girl."
My husband was very shocked and turned to the men and said to them in English: "Are you talking about me?" The men sat there surprised, then one of them said: "Where are you from that you understand what we said?" My husband told them: "It doesn't matter where I am from, do you think it is Islamic to sit in the musjid right after praying Juma'a prayer and mock another Muslim like that?" Instead of being ashamed these men started getting belligerent with him and told him they could say whatever they wanted, who would stop them?
The whole exchange upset my husband and frankly shocked him. He told me that he felt very sad that such a thing could occur. I am not so much sad as tired. I have witnessed this type of thing on the women's side of the musjid before, and I just don't get it.
It seems as though in the ten years I have been a Muslim, the Islamic Community is getting more divided and almost cruel to each other, instead of growing closer. I personally find it increasingly difficult to defend the actions of Muslims to non-Muslims, when I find some behavior indefensible. 
Where I live there is a healthcare program for people who do not have insurance. You can see a doctor and get prescriptions at very low prices if you qualify. There are a lot of Muslimns on this program here as many are self employed or choose not to have medical insurance. The program is a great help, but the major drawback is that you often have to wait in long lines and they can be slow at getting things done. One day I was waiting in the pharmacy line and there was another Muslim woman, in full hijab, in line two people ahead of me. When she got up to the window apparently her prescription wasn't ready yet so she started a "discussion" with the pharmacist. After a minute or so she got very loud, then started screaming very bad words at the pharmacist, threw her empty pill bottle at her and hit her, and stormed out of the building. Of course, everybody in the whole building turned and looked at me, because there I was the only other hijab wearing Muslim in the place. I just stood there shocked. Then someone said, and I didn't see who, "What is wrong with you people? Why don't you all just go back where you came from and get medical care if you don't like it here." What could I say? 
Anyway, I just feel that at a time when Muslims throughout the world are under very intense scrutiny, and are considered "the enemy" by many, we should at least try to follow the example of the Prophet Mohammed and the Sahaba and from a close Ummah. We should also remember that everything we do and every exchange we have with non-Muslims is dawah, and act accordingly.