Question on Mehrams

Angela wrote: Adopting older children, like my husband and I plan on doing will also be harder for Muslim women, I read a fatwa where if the woman can adopt a child before the age of three and through medical induction be able to breastfeed the child, it makes the boy or girl mehram to the family.  But if you adopt an older child, this is not possible.  All things to consider, but never to discourage. And it seems I cannot stay away....the Lord has too much he wants me to do....Peace all of you.

Hello Angela,

There is a hadith report that a couple had adopted a male child, of whom the husband grew jelous of. In this case the prophet (saw) adviced the mother to breast feed him, so he becomes a mahram to her.

The lady who may breast feed a baby is given the status of foster mother, and all her children become forster siblings to this baby - who are mahram in Islam.

If you legaly adopt a child, he will not become your mahram islamically, but the rights of inheretance can be given to him as per yours and your husband's will ie that is the case if the couple is muslim. 

I think adoption is a very beautiful way of givng homeless and deprived children a fresh opprotunity to find their individuality, confidence, and strength in this world. I commend you and your husband in having such plans. May allah bless you, reward you and guide you to all goodness.

Peace,

Nausheen

Adoption (legal adoption, not spiritual) in the US, makes us able to make medical decisions, provide healthcare, education and a home without the interference of the State Welfare agencies, and without risk of those agencies transferring the child to another home, which in the US are notoriously suspect in their treatment of foster children.

My husband and I are planning two upcoming adoptions.  Although we are white, one of the adoptive children will not be.  How could we possibly pretend to be this child's birth parents?  We could not.  I think its important that adoptive children know that they are special and loved all the more because they are special. 

There are ways to legally adopt a child as a Muslim.  Do not change the name of the child, be honest and loving with the child in regards to his or her parentage.  Enable the child to find their birth parents when they are old enough, provided they are still alive.  But instead of letting them to orphanages and foster homes, take them in.  There is nothing in American adoption law that says you HAVE to change the baby's name.  And its often unwise to change the older children's name anyway since that could cause them to have adjustment problems.

Adopting older children, like my husband and I plan on doing will also be harder for Muslim women, I read a fatwa where if the woman can adopt a child before the age of three and through medical induction be able to breastfeed the child, it makes the boy or girl mehram to the family.  But if you adopt an older child, this is not possible.  All things to consider, but never to discourage.

And it seems I cannot stay away....the Lord has too much he wants me to do....Peace all of you. 

salaam

to Nausheen,       i was talking about the kind of adoption that Angela stated whereas one becomes  parent (s) to  someone's child.

and here is the prove,this is Surah 33.Al-ahzab.

 " They cannot be their mothers.None can  be their mothers except those who  gave therm birth"(58:2).

however,one can be a guardian or a caretaker instead.

Bismillah,

The way that people live the religion is different than the rules, however.  Many times I have seen an older woman become like an aunt to young men who come to college here in America.  Their sons bring them home, and they treat them like family because they are far from their family.  So this "adopted" nephew might take his aunt to the doctor or the grocery store or stop by and visit.

This is cultural adaption, and not Islaamically correct or deemed religiously acceptable behavior by scholars and sheikhs.  But in reality, there are sheikhs themselves who this occurs with.

That would be cool:  Adopt a new Muslim program, Mehrams needed.  I could use a new dad, but Islamically, it's not provided for.