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Sleepover With Boyfriend, Religious Parents Might

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livinginmasterp View Drop Down
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Joined: 19 February 2015
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    Posted: 19 February 2015 at 6:02pm
Hi everyone,

I am Indonesian but currently living in Australia. I've been seeing this non-Muslim guy for 2 months now. He's been sleeping over at my place but we never go too far. He's just sleeping at mine because his work is closer to my place.

At first I just wanna hide all these from my parents because I know they'll disown me if they find out. They are very old-school and religious. I wouldn't say they're strict, but when it comes to guys, they are.

So they dont know yet about me and my boyfriend. But I am planning on telling them soon when I go back to Indonesia. Then I have these thoughts: what if they ask if my bf ever comes over to mine? My boyfriend told me to just tell the truth if my parents ever ask. But I know they won't trust me anymore and maybe they won't let me go back to Australia. Also, I really can't deal with my parents (esp my mom) being angry with me. I have a very weak mentality for that.

I honestly don't wanna lie to them but I am also scared of telling them the truth. (you have no idea). If anyone has an advice, any advice, I would very much appreciate it!

Thank you!!
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lindseynicole View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lindseynicole Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 February 2015 at 3:12am
Hi everyone,

I personally felt that every religion and every country has its own law and order and we respect all of them. In many of the countries it is but obvious that if the two people are in live in relationship they can stay together as husband and wife without registered marriage.
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 February 2015 at 8:07am
Abu Mas'ud 'Uqbah bin 'Amr al-Ansari al-Badri, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:

"Among the things that people have found from the words of the previous prophets was: 'If you feel no shame, then do as you wish.'"
[Al-Bukhari]

Ibn Qayyim has shed some more light on this interpretation by saying that when a person commits sins, his feeling of shame is lessened. As he commits more and more sins, his shame is weakened more and more, to the point that it may not exist at all. When he gets to that point, he does not care what people might say or think about him. In fact, he might even start to tell others about the sins that he has committed. This type of person will not be forgiven and the road to repentance will be blocked for him. The Prophet [sall-Allâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam] has said:

“All of my Nation are apt to be forgiven except for those who commit sins openly. Included among those who commit sins openly is where a person performs a deed during the night and, although Allâh had concealed that sin, in the morning he says: ‘0 so and so, last night I did such and such.’ He spent the night being concealed by Allâh and in the morning he uncovered Allâh’s concealment from himself.” [Al-Bukhârî]
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NABA View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NABA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 February 2015 at 10:49am
If you are clean from heart then tell the truth to your parents and fear Allah, because Allah in ch 65 v 2-3 of Quran says if you fear Allah, Allah will provide help from unimaginable source.
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Nausheen View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nausheen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2015 at 10:58pm

Am I missing something.
People usually come here with their questions because they want to do things islamically right.

You don't seem to have that urge or motivation. Then why do you even bother to ask your question on an islamic forum?
<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa

Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena

wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.
[/COLOR]
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lady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2015 at 6:01am
Nausheen. She asked a question because she needed guidance from Muslims. U don't know why Allah has sent her here. Maybe posting on this website will make her a righteous muslim, while u and I maybe less so.

Sisterlivinginmasterp. U need to stop having sleepovers with your boyfriend. Do u have friends who are practicing Muslims? I would encourage u to read Quran everyday, attend the Halaqa classes for several weeks, and please make your prayers. Trust me, your concerns about your life will be less stressful.
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Jannahgoals View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jannahgoals Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 August 2015 at 3:33am
"There is no truth to this fashion of non-Mahrams being just good friends. Getting into such atainted “friendship” will only cause problems on multiple levels. A person may be able to control their thoughts and desires, but after repeatedly meeting a non-Mahram in an unstructured setting to spend time as friends, the battle against the self becomes increasingly difficult. 

However, mixing with non-Mahrams and going out of our way to spend time with them obviously defies those ideals of Hijab. It’s as simple as this: brothers and sisters who are not Mahram to each other are not supposed to interact when there is no point in doing so, and any interaction that does take place is supposed to be done in a professional manner. Conclusively, the idea of non-Mahram guys and girls spending time together as “friends” is not endorsed by Islam.

Also, we need to realize that being Muslim doesn’t make us immune to falling into sin. Just because a sister wears a headscarf and a brother sports a beard does not mean it is okay for them to become friends. As Muslims, we are instructed to follow guidelines for our own benefit, and in this situation too there is wisdom. Just as we are to abstain from sitting at a table that has alcohol bottles on it and just as we are to abstain from listening to music, we are to abstain from developing non-Mahram friendships because of the greater sins that we could be led to commit.

Of course, living in the West, there are times when non-Mahrams do interact – but there is a difference between how we do so with our colleagues and with our friends. We interact on a regular basis with our colleagues regarding the work that has brought us together on a professional level."

If you want to get to know them, it should be done without being alone with the person and it shouldn't go beyond permissible topics.

Please copy and paste this to whatsapp, Facebook and Twitter etc.
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Jannahgoals View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jannahgoals Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 August 2015 at 3:49am
And not forgetting the istikharah prayer if you want to get married. :')

http://hadithoftheday.com/how-to-perform-salat-l-istikhara/



Edited by Jannahgoals - 07 August 2015 at 3:49am
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