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Marrying to a Buddhist Girl

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Abu Loren View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Abu Loren Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 February 2015 at 9:52am
Originally posted by ProudSlave ProudSlave wrote:

AA I am brand new here and have not been Muslim for very long. The only reason I am responding to you is because I am a Muslim who IS married to Buddhist woman, so I have a little insight into this type of situation.

Both my marriage to her and the birth of our 4yr old daughter took place before my conversion. This makes me feel like I have no right to expect changes to her faith nor impose mine on the child who we share. My daughter does enjoy performing Salah with me, but I do not try to stop my wife from feeding her Haram food because she was doing so long before I converted. In a weird way, I have to acknowledge the fact my commitment to this family predates my commitment to Allah. I have no doubt my daughter will find her way, she would follow me off a cliff and tries to be as much like me as possible. Unfortunately, I also believe my wife never will. This causes me great sadness because while I am quite capable of protecting her physically (specially trained in "Dignitary Protection"), I feel incapable of protecting her spiritually and have had to accept the literal meaning of "til death do us part"

I will never say I regret marrying my wife. Not only do I love her madly, but our union brought me the wonderful blessing that my daughter is. However, if I had to give a brother advice, it would be - If you truly know you will be a Muslim for your whole life, seek a mate who shares your commitment to Islam before unbreakable bonds are formed and lifelong commitments are made, as it will most likely result in a more harmonious marriage.


Asalaamu Alaykum

Bro you are the head of your household and as such you have a duty to bring your child up as a Muslim. It doesn't matter what you were before or if your wife does not support you in this. It is your responsibility to care for and look after your wife and your child in equal measures but do not shy away from your responsibilities to your daughter. Teach her about Islam and In Shaa Allah from a young age she will embrace it and be a good Muslimah for life.

Salaam
La Ilaha IllAllah
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ProudSlave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ProudSlave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 February 2015 at 8:33am
Originally posted by Abu Loren Abu Loren wrote:


Asalaamu Alaykum Bro you are the head of your household and as such you have a duty to bring your child up as a Muslim. It doesn't matter what you were before or if your wife does not support you in this. It is your responsibility to care for and look after your wife and your child in equal measures but do not shy away from your responsibilities to your daughter. Teach her about Islam and In Shaa Allah from a young age she will embrace it and be a good Muslimah for life.Salaam


You are 100% correct!

My daughter and I have long conversations about what Allah has done for us. She understands a lot, for her age. I am not neglecting my duty. I am however taking a slow approach (she's four). Too much rigidity, at this point, has the potential to get me further from the goal than closer. Pulling rank and laying down the law would be met with huge resistance, not by my daughter, but rather many family members. It could even result in divorce and me becoming a smaller influence in her life. Trust me, I'm "taking care of business" I'm just using a delicate and diplomatic approach.

IBAHA411 -

I'll definitely shoot ya an email.
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lady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 February 2015 at 8:10pm
Your interest on whom to marry is a reflection of your deen. You won't understand love until after marriage. Just be patient brother. I did give u instructive advise. I told u what u needed to hear and not what u wanted to hear.
Allah (SWT) has made it clear to us who we can marry. So if u don't listen to HiM then who are u listening to?


Edited by lady - 03 February 2015 at 8:19pm
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ibaha411 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ibaha411 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 February 2015 at 9:52pm
Brother ProudSlave,

I would be so happy, please write me in your free time.

Regards,
Ismail
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baekxingjo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote baekxingjo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2019 at 1:26pm
Hi! Ibaha

I am curious what happen after all...
It’s been 4yrs already. Did you marry her or not? πŸ™‚
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asep garutea View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote asep garutea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 August 2019 at 6:26pm
Originally posted by ibaha411 ibaha411 wrote:

Brother ProudSlave,



I would be so happy, please write me in your free time.



Regards,

Ismail

Assalamu alaykum Ismail Baha, sorry I just found out what you wrote in this forum. Hopefully my advice is not too late.
I just want to convey the words of Allah Azza Wa Jalla in Surah Al Baqarah verse 221.
Please contemplate that verse.

Regards,
asep garutea

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shareit View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote shareit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 November 2019 at 3:01am
AOA My dear brother.

I wonder where shall I start from, but allow me by saying that "I've been in exact same shoes and traveled the same road for quite long while" until I reached to a conclusion. <I know its tough and I understand the anxiety and overthinking; please accept My heart felt love and sympathy for yourselves, I really admire your struggle> 

Earlier, I have been looking for answers all over the internet <just like you> and looked for any tiny ray of light, any favorable answers(which in this case would be something like "Its okie to marry a Buddhist girl with Muslim man" or even any chances of success) <I was desperately looking for answers>

Now, Let me share the key resources I found during my research over 1.5 years, In fact now I am at peace with my decision.

1. I am sure you believe in Quran, lets refer to Chapter 2, verse 221 https://quran.com/2/221
Translation: And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.

My conclusion after reading this verse was: Marrying a non-Muslim lady is definitely out of question, Yes I like that Buddhist or hindu girl and I want her to accept Islam and believe in Allah, but I also don't want to push her into a religion just for the sake of marriage, the same is also prohibited in Islam and on Top of that I am not a preacher so chances are pretty slim. Allah will not ask me Why you fail to <convince> that particular person to embrace Islam, yes our duty is to share the message of Islam but not to stop by and wait and see are they following it or not, rather Allah will ask me about my level of iman and will ask me that Allah gave you the book Quran; Did you read it carefully and understood it, and did you act upon it? 
Clearly my internal discussion came to a conclusion that there is no way out and I must give in, as Quran being the guiding light for my life. But the internal struggle did not stop, I had already concluded that "this thing" is not gonna work out as an ideal family, either I am deceiving myself or what!

2. During this research I stumbled on a book about Fatherhood, its written by a christian theologian Myles Munroe, the book title is "The Fatherhood Principle", This book has helped me look into the core roles of a good Father. I am sure you love your parents and you want your own family to grow better in every aspect of but with out becoming a good Father you wont be able to do that. This book will give you practical concepts about Fatherhood, May I request you to read this book thoroughly, I really liked this book, and willing to seek help from it in future, since this book is based on Bible; with all due respect Muslims believe in Bible, do not let the Bible scripture confuse you, be very careful while reading it. link: http://phantocomp.weebly.com/uploads/1/9/8/3/19830307/fatherhood_principle_-_myles_munroe.pdf
Kindly focus on the concepts being taught as per Bible. (Its easy)

My Final Remarks:
If you really want to save her from hellfire, leave her alone and pray for her, If she would get curious and willing to do her homework for understanding Islam, she will do it on her own pace, don't push her and Allah will open her heart towards Islam. It doesn't matter who marries her, Once she entered Islam she will be definitely smart enough to look for a man that suits her.

Since you are already here, I can assume that you have already understood my thoughts and if not give me a second chance and re-read the whole message again. 
Now I will let you decide what is best for you. 

Believe you me, Once you have decided on this matter, you will see that there are many more aspects of life in terms of your personal Health goals, wealth goals, Time goals, relationships and spirituality.

May Allah bless you with a successful life.
Much Love.
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asep garutea View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote asep garutea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 November 2019 at 5:14am
All of that back to himself who will take the decision.
Allah informs all Muslims in the Qur'an 2: 221, but whoever wants to follow His Word or not is someone's right because every human being will take responsibility in the hereafter for what he has done in the world.
Islamic teaching forbids coercion in religion as in His Word.
If a Muslim obeys Allah order, he will marry a Muslim girl. But if not, it is his responsibility with Allah who has created him.
Whoever Muslim obeys or not the rules of his Lord, it is he himself who will be responsible in the eternal life hereafter.
We live in this world only temporarily, meaning that the couple lives in the world also only temporarily, and even many of them whose love for someone is fading away.
The conclusion is returning to the extent of a Muslim's faith, whether he wants to follow Allah's orders or not.

May Allah bless us all. Aameen
 

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