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Teenage marriage/engagement

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IslamIsTheBest View Drop Down

Joined: 30 November 2005
Location: Canada
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    Posted: 30 November 2005 at 6:08am

I would like to ask a question and hope to have some quotes from Quran or Hadith from anyone who may have the answer.

I know of a young Muslim man who is almost 17 years old, and he knows a girl of same age since 4 years.  They speak with each other at school, and they both have developed strong feelings for each other.  The young man says it is not respectfull to continue speaking with her without a commitment, and wants to be engaged, and later married in about 3 or 4 years after finishing University.  they don't see each other after school, as the girl works after school, and on weekends.  The girl's family is not Muslim but they are from a country that has many muslims.  She knows about Islam, and might become Muslim someday as she likes Muslim culture, and beliefs.

My question is this:

Is proposing to be engaged the appropriate thing to do in this situation?  Is there any other choice, and what advice would you give for the young man and his family?

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Nausheen View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nausheen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2005 at 8:02am

Auzubillahi minash shaitan ir rajeem,

Bismillah ir rahman ir rahim,


A man can marry women from people of the book, ie the christians and the jews. If the young lady is a believing christian, or a believing jew, there is nothing wrong in proposing her at this stage.

If she is one of the polytheists, then it would not be correct to propose, because a proposal to marriage is like a commitment - whereas he cannot fullfil any such commitment unless she accepts Islam. In such a case he should explain his intentions of marraige with an additional clause that make it clear to her the circumstances in which they can tie the knot.

Maa salaama,


<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa

Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena

wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.
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