Sisters I need your thoughts about divorce

aminahV17 wrote: As Salaam Alaykum:  It's with great sadness that I report that my husband and I have not been able to work out our differences on him marrying another woman, therefore, we are parting ways.  He told me that he's going to marry her soon and that he is not divorcing me.  I'm moving out this Friday at his insistence and I'm just beside myself as I want to do the right thing islamically.    He insists that I move out on April 3, 2015 so he can marry the other woman. I told him I would, but don't be mean to me in the process.  We can be civil toward one another through this difficult time.  He sends texts to my phone saying he hopes I move out by April 3rd so he can be with his other woman.   I'm hurt, but I don't want who don't want me, furthermore, he still does not take care of me.  He now have a part-time job and told me that he's doing what Allah has allowed him to do.  What I want to know is, how long do I have to stay married to him before I ask for a divorce, islamically?  Please advise.   Salaam Alaykum

Alaykum Asalaam

Yes it does look like that your husband doesn't need you anymore as he is blinded by his love/lust for this new woman. In that respect a divorce would be the best course of action.

There are strict rules on divorce in Sharia Law, for example there are waiting periods after a divorce and the husband is still expected to provide for his wife until then.

I would advise you to seek help from an Imam.

Three divorces ARE valid, given in heat of the moment, or under the effect of intoxication or otherwise.

Allah hates divorce, and it is not a thing to be treated lightly.

Maulana Tariq Jameel is invalid.

@abuali

is that what sunnah people are practicing..u know im so confused of hadiths..this "husband" asked me are you following TariqJameel (i thought following Quran is the main thing in Islam) anyway from my point of "view" this husband is not good he always belittle me and he even wondered why he married me in the first place. He dont care how i felt and always hurt me with his words. he dont support me financially because he don't have job and yet he married the second wife out of parent's request... please enlighten me..

Edited by Aighar - 09 November 2014 at 10:17pm

Avandie17 wrote: Salaam Alaykum Abu Loren:� I'm in the same situation as sister Aighar.� My husband has taken a 2nd wife and is unemployed with 3 kids, 2 of which lives in the home with us.� I've been supporting us for 5 years as my husband was a full time student.� I didn't mind it so much because I felt like him sacrificing and going to school would benefit us in the long run.� Now, he's gone and taken a 2nd wife, one whose divorced with 3 kids living with her mother. � My husband told me he will not divorce me as the divorce is up to the man and he's not doing anything wrong to me.� He loves me, that Allah has given the man the power to love multiple women at the same time.� I feel betrayed�and insulted. � When I try to explain my feelings to him, he just tells me that he can't help the fact that I cannot accept what Allah has allowed the man.� Am I wrong for feeling betrayed by him.

Wa Alaykum Asalaam,

What he is doing is wrong. Islamically it is the responsibility of the man to look after the family. It seems to me that he is taking advantage of the situation where you are the bread winner. Five years is a long time for a man for not to work or provide for his family. The Prophet (SalAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said that a instead of begging a man should work even if it is cutting down a tree and selling firewood (paraphrasing).

Also it IS allowed for a woman to initiate a divorce. I would advise you to seek advise from an imam. A married woman should NOT suffer in silence.

If a man marries more than once then it is also his responsibility to treat the all his wives equally. There are certain rules to be followed in taking a second, third or fourth wife. The least a man should do is consult his first wife.

Salaam