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Muslim jokes.

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Amina16 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Amina16 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2005 at 5:31pm

here's another one i totally love. 

Convert to Islam
1/27/2005

Mullah Nasruddin (who was born a Muslim) was walking down a street when he bumps into Umar Abdullah, a convert/revert to Islam.

"Salam-Alaikum brother Umar!" Mullah Nasruddin said excitedly.

"Alaikum-salam, brother!" replied Umar.

"I have this question I have been wanting to ask you for a LONG LONG time, and now, since you are here, may I ask it?"

"Go ahead, brother, you may." replied Umar.

"When you became a Muslim, did you cry?"

"Indeed I did." replied Umar.

"ME TOO! ME TOO!" exclaimed Mullah Nasruddin excitedly.

"Words have Power" ex: The Quran
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Amina16 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Amina16 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2005 at 5:34pm
Quiet During Jummah

The Imam of a masjid, who was also a father of two young children, was about to enter the majid to give the Khutbah (Friday sermon). Before he entered he reminded them to be quiet - especially when he is giving his khutbah.

He then asked his children, "And why is it necessary to be quiet during Jummah?"

Little Ahmed jumped up and yelled, "Because people are all sleeping!"

"Words have Power" ex: The Quran
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Amina16 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Amina16 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2005 at 5:39pm
Few Muslims in Hell
1/27/2005

Two men were on a plane on a business trip when a Muslim couple boarded the plane and were seated right in front of them. The two men, eager to have some fun, started talking loudly. "My boss is sending me to Saudi Arabia", the one said, "But I don't want to go...too many Muslims there!" The Muslim couple noticeably heard and grew uncomfortable. The other guy laughed, "Oh, yeah, my boss wanted to send me to Pakistan but I refused...WAY too many Muslims!" Smiling, the first man said, "One time I was in Iran but I HATED the fact that there were so many Muslims!" The couple fidgeted. The other guy responded, "Oh, yeah...you can't go ANYWHERE to get away from them...the last time I was in FRANCE I ran into a bunch of them too!" The first guy was laughing hysterically as he added, "That is why you'll never see me in Indonesia...WAY too many Muslims!" At this, the Muslim man turned around and responded politely, "Why don't you go to Hell?", he asked, "I hear there's not very many Muslims THERE!"

"Words have Power" ex: The Quran
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Dayem View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dayem Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2005 at 8:20pm

Here is a shortcut, ok?

http://youth.ibn.net/humor.asp

"the mooslims! they're heeere!"
LOONWATCH.COM
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Amina16 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 November 2005 at 4:00pm
Rules of Joking in Islam


Some people joke too much and it becomes a habit for them. This is the opposite of the serious nature which is the characteristic of the believers. Joking is a break, a rest from ongoing seriousness and striving; it is a little relaxation for the soul. ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Fear joking, for it is folly and generates grudges.”

Imaam al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “The kind of joking which is forbidden is that which is excessive and persistent, for it leads to too much laughter and hardening of the heart, it distracts from remembrance of Allaah, and it often leads to hurt feelings, generates hatred and causes people to lose respect and dignity. But whoever is safe from such dangers, then that which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do is permissible for him.”

Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas said: “Set a limit to your jokes, for going to extremes makes you lose respect and incites the foolish against you.”

The amount of joking should be like the amount of salt in one’s food.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not laugh too much, for laughing too much deadens the heart.” (Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7312)

‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “Whoever laughs too much or jokes too much loses respect, and whoever persists in doing something will be known for it.”

So beware of joking, for it “causes a person to lose face after he was thought of as respectable, and it brings him humiliation after esteem.”

A man said to Sufyaan ibn ‘Uyaynah (may Allaah be pleased with him), “Joking is not right, it is to be denounced.” He replied, “Rather it is Sunnah, but only for those who know how to do it and do it at the appropriate time.”

Nowadays, although the ummah needs to increase the love between its individual members and to relieve itself of boredom, it has gone too far with regard to relaxation, laughter and jokes. This has become a habit which fills their gatherings and wastes their time, so their lives are wasted and their newspapers are filled with jokes and trivia.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If you knew what I know, you would laugh little and weep much.” In Fath al-Baari it says: “What is meant by knowledge here has to do with the might of Allaah and His vengeance upon those who disobey Him, and the terrors that occur at death, in the grave and on the Day of Resurrection).

Muslim men and women have to be inclined to choose righteous and serious friends in their lives, who will help them to make good use of their time and strive for the sake of Allaah with seriousness and steadfastness, good and righteous people whose example they can follow. Bilaal ibn Sa’d said: “I saw them [the Sahaabah] jokingly pretending to fight over some goods, and laughing with one another, but when night came they were like monks.”

Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) was asked, “Did the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) laugh?” He said, “Yes, and the faith in their hearts was like mountains.”

So you have to follow the example of such people, who were knights by day and monks (i.e., devoted worshippers) by night.

May Allaah keep us, you and our parents safe on the Day of the Greatest Terror, those to whom the call will go out on that great Day:

“Enter Paradise, no fear shall be on you, nor shall you grieve”

[al-A’raaf 7:49 – interpretation of the meaning]

Obtained from
http://www.islamisforyou.com
"Words have Power" ex: The Quran
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Suleyman View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Suleyman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 November 2005 at 11:39pm
A good working,Jazak Allah Khair Sister Amina...
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awesomeJ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote awesomeJ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 February 2006 at 10:23am
@Amina16

love your joke.. subhanallah
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Amina16 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2006 at 3:06pm

Originally posted by awesomeJ awesomeJ wrote:

@Amina16

love your joke.. subhanallah

Yeah i like it too but its not my joke i found it in the web. 

"Words have Power" ex: The Quran
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