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2nd wife

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Naseemruby View Drop Down
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Joined: 24 November 2013
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    Posted: 29 November 2013 at 10:19am
Salaams all.
Can any one help me please.
My husband of 35 years wants to   Seperate, we will be living in the same house for now.
He says he has the right to take another wife and bring her into our home.
Can he do this. He's 68 and I'm 55' he says he needs looking after.
Please advise me.the thought of another women coming in and taking over my house is upsetting me.
He has stopped supporting me financially. Doesn't provide any food for me.but pays the household bills.he has never let me work. But now I will have to support myself some how.At the moment my 4 children who are in their 30 give me money for shopping.
Naseem. ]

Edited by Naseemruby - 29 November 2013 at 11:19am
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NABA View Drop Down
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Joined: 13 December 2012
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NABA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 December 2013 at 6:58am
Wa Salaam if he believes in Allah then he had to believe in Quran show him ch 4 v 3 of Quran-Allah says u can have wives upto four but u have to ensure justice among all if not it is better to have one. So even if he marries second time he had to take care of u n his other wife.I pray to Allah to solve ur problem.Allahfiz.
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 December 2013 at 11:50am
How big is the house? When you say he wants to "separate" does this mean divorce? Are you able to "look after" him? Is it normal in your country that multiple wives share one house? Are any of his other family members in polygamous relationships? Given his age it seems that he is making threats to manipulate your behavior. Who cooks for him now?
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Naseemruby View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Naseemruby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 December 2013 at 2:40pm
Salaam
Thank you for your replies.
I have no problem looking after him.cooking cleaning etc.we had some misunderstanding concerning our children a clash of cultures as I am a British revert and he is Asian.
He's the one that told me not to do any thing for him and refuses to see his children so has cut himself of from all of us.
Our house is a small 3 bedroom. He wants to be seperated not divorced as he says it is against Islam. All of a sudden he is very religious.none of his family are willing to help me.his sisters did get his elder brother a wife who was 70!!!! But that didn't last long.
I can't bear the thought of this. I have tried many times to resolve our issues.to no avail. Sorry if this is long.i don't know where to turn,
His sisters cook for him and he picks it up. But he was the main cook as he cooks very well and taught me all I know in the kitchen.
Allah hafiz

Edited by Naseemruby - 01 December 2013 at 2:42pm
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LJAK View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LJAK Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 December 2013 at 7:45pm
May Allah help you, I only can doa' for you as am not in capable situation to advise you.
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 December 2013 at 7:24am
You have a right to your own living quarters and privacy with respect to polygamy. As I mentioned before, I think you and the children should validate his feelings and opinions. Allah bless your family with good.
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honeto View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote honeto Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 December 2013 at 3:29pm
Salam sister,
may Allah help you. It seems your husband has lost his mind and love for you. Truly, it is a time of great test for you. Be patient and try to talk some sense into him, if he dos not listen to you have children talk to him and remind him how you were there when the family needed you. How can he abandon you like this for another woman? and without proving for you which is his duty. I hope, and pray that Allah help you. Being a man I know, a young woman can easily blind a man, may Allah save us all from such irresponsible behavior.
Hasan

Edited by honeto - 14 December 2013 at 3:31pm
39:64 Proclaim: Is it some one other than God that you order me to worship, O you ignorant ones?"
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