Quotes of hellfire are not necessary

Assalaamu alaikum Sisters,

I came across this while browsing Q & A at Sunnipath.com and thought it might be appropriate to post it here. No offense is intended and I do hope everyone finds this beneficial. It certainly address many of the concerns and comments in this thread (though, of course, it is talking about face to face encounters, not cyber ones - but, still, the advice seems quite appropriate). Ramadan mubarak!

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

I have many Muslim friends that do not wear hijab, or are not too aware of some of the basic rules of fiqh, and often times I feel as though I should say something to correct them. I know it's best to say in person, when no one else is around to avoid embarrassing my sister, but sometimes I think that they may take it the wrong way. For instance, I think many people get defensive quickly, and think I am judging them because I wear hijab and they do not, or I "talk about Islamic stuff" more than they do, so they feel intimidated by me, or feel embarrassed if I see them doing something that is not, "halaal" or is not wrong, but could lead to wrong.

I try my best to approach them with adab, and tell them as sincerely as I can, but then, where do I draw the line, because I too, am not perfect in what I do, and I don't want them to think that I think I'm am better than them? How do I go about helping my sisters without offending them, or making myself seem judgemental?

Walaikum assalam,

The best thing for such matters, in general, is to be a positive role model. There is an issue of priorities in dawah: if someone does not understanding the basics of their religion and belief, and may not even be praying, we need to approach these issues first, and create a positive feeling in their heart for the deen of Allah and for religious people. Through good company and positive reinforcement usually things like hijab, listening to music (a tough thing for many), etc, are resolved without much need for preaching.

One has to be very "light handed" when it comes to correcting people on such matters. So one should hate the things that they do wrong, but our love for them entails that we choose the course of action in seeking to change their ways that is most likely to be effective. Often people expect you to correct them and tell them to do this or that. If you don't, and just treat them very nicely and lovingly, you can disarm them and they'll start thinking, "Well, she's a different kind of hijabi..." And be much more open and trusting of you...

Scholars say that commanding the good and forbidding the evil is only obligatory if one thinks that the person would listen. Otherwise, it is recommended, unless a greater harm or worsening of the situation is feared, in which case it would be better (or even obligatory, in some cases) not to say anything. It would be an obligation, however, to hate the wrong in one's heart and, if it is happening in one's presence (such as listening to unlawful music) to leave if stopping it is not possible. [Based on the entry on enjoining the good and forbidding the evil in Shaykh Khalil al-Nahlawi's al-Durar al-Mubaha fi'l Hadhr wa'l Ibaha.]

It is important for us to love all of creation because they are Allah's creation. As such, they are exactly as Allah willed them to be. This is especially true of all believers, even the sinful, for they have been honored by Allah Most High by the rank of belief, which is unbelievably tremendous. But we have been commanded to love certain actions and hate others...

And focusing on the positive, beautiful aspects of our religion draws and attracts people to accepting their slave-hood. As they realize their duty to their Lord, they will submit more and more to His commands and be more and more receptive of any guidance or advice that is offered.

And Allah alone gives success.

Wassalam,

Faraz Rabbani